SBL Notebook, Week 16

The SBL can be a cruel mistress when she wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, and she certainly spiked the BGoff Bammers’ scrambled eggs with something foul this week. Consider these Week 16 numbers for the BBs: 8 HR, 38 RBIs, 34 runs, 28 TB, .371 OBP, 2.76 ERA, 4-2 WL, and an outrageous league-leading .85 BR stat. Now, take a good look at those stats and have a guess at what they might yield on the score sheet for a seven-game week in this season of diminished expectations on the offensive side of things. Hmm, solid offense pretty much across the board . . . excellent pitching . . . so you’re thinking, 6-1, maybe 5-2 at worst, right? Uh-uh. Think again. All those lovely numbers got the Bams was a big fat goose egg – quite possibly the most undeserved 0-7 week on record. We looked at the numbers again and again (thinking, “I’d take those numbers into battle any ol’ week”), even replayed the games a second time. It still came out to 0-7. It’s almost inexplicable -– the Bammers were weak in only three stats (2 SBs, 1 save, .73 Ks), good everywhere else -– just not good enough. Certainly one factor was a sharp spike in offense league-wide, with four teams getting into the 40s in RBIs, three getting there in runs, five double-digit homer totals (plus three more at a near-miss 9), and six OBPs of .369 and higher. Also, it was the Bams’ misfortune to play the two best teams in the National division –- the only two with winning records, in fact –- Dan’s Cherry Valley Bombers and JP’s Whiteskins. The ’Skins, in particular, were rakin’ to the max, benefiting from the prescient insertion of Justin Morneau and Jason Kubel in their lineup to pile up 16 HRs, 48 RBIs, 44 runs and a preposterous .429 OBP, a league record in that first-year stat. But the Bombers are an interesting case, when you compare their numbers to the Bammers’. The CVBs certainly had a nice hitting week, particularly their 10 SBs and 43 RBIs. But by and large their stats -– including 9 HRs, 37 runs, 31 TB, .353 OBP –- were in the same range as BGoff’s. And their pitching was, in the main, pretty awful, with Dan’s starters doing enough damage to drop a 6.59 ERA (the league-worst), 1.56 BR ratio and 3-4 WL in his punch bowl. The Bammers pitched much better, in terms of the fundamental objectives of getting outs, keeping people from crossing home plate (or getting on base at all) and, you know, winning games. Yet the Bombers –- employing the time-honored Patton Inmates approach of utilizing steals (the aforementioned league-high 10), saves (league-high 7) and strikeouts (killer 1.12 ratio) to stay competitive in an otherwise rocky week -– went 6-1. That would be six more wins than the Bammers logged, despite their having had a week that in many ways could be objectively judged as statistically superior, overall, to the Bombers’. Sometimes life just isn’t fair, eh? . . . The Bammers paid a stiff price their hard-luck week, giving back all five games they’d gained the previous week on American division pacesetters Paulo’s Zero’s, whose lead has been restored to a cushy 11 games. In fact the Bammers have fallen into a second-place tie with surging, pitching-rich Dennis’ Puny Pontiffs, in an AL wild-card race that has grown almost impossibly tight. A mere two games now separate second place from fifth in the division, which currently sports five teams with winning records. Take a snapshot of that; it doesn’t happen often. . . . The NL race remained the same, only more so -– the Bombers and Whiteskins both going 6-1, the rest of the division going a combined 6-22, the gulf between the top two haves and bottom four have-nots continuing to grow. There’s Dan (63-37), JP (57-43, six games back) -- and no one else within 11 games of .500.

Week 16 standings

AMERICAN
Team, LW........W....L....PCT....GB
Paul (5-2).........64...36....640...--
Dennis (4-3)......53...47....530...11
Brian (0-7)........53...47....530...11
Mike (6-1)........52...48....520...12
Andy (6-1)........51...49....510...13
David (3-4).......41...59....410...23
NATIONAL
Team, LW........W....L....PCT....GB
Dan (6-1).........63...37....630...--
JP (6-1)...........57...43....570....6
Vic (2-5)..........44...56....440...19
Gregg (1-6).......44...56....440...19
Damian (1-6).....40...60....400...23
Derek (2-5).......37...63....370...26

Free agent draft No. 8

Pre-draft DL moves:
Derek: activates 3B Lowell, drops AGordon
Gregg: activates 3B DeRosa, drops Bonifacio
JP: drops SP Slowey to open a DL slot
Paul: drops OF Nady to open a DL slot

1. Derek: takes SP Washburn, drops Carmona; taxi: Washburn up, Blackburn down
2. David: takes OF FGutierrez, drops Crisp
3. Damian: takes OF GJones, drops Dukes
4. Vic: takes C Ruiz, Hernandez to DL
5. Gregg: takes C Montero, drops Varitek; taxi (provisional): Kawakami up, Richmond down
6. Andy: takes RP Meredith, drops Motte; taxi: Anderson up, Porcello down
7. Mike: takes SP Buehrle, drops OPerez
8. Dennis: takes OF CGuillen, drops Bradley
9. JP: takes SP RWells, Bedard to DL
10. Brian: takes SS Lugo, drops SS JHairston Jr.
11. Dan: takes SP Blanton, Volquez to DL; taxi: Blanton up, Contreras down
12. Paul: takes SP Gaudin, RJohnson to DL

Derelicts in market for closer

The Derelicts think they're one reliever away from getting back in the National Division race.

Derek's e-mail:

Greetings (again) fellow owners ...

First, I'd like to offer my appreciation to all who made offers last week, despite the fact that no triggers were pulled. The resurgence of Mr. Pedroia -- who now only trails Barmes in HR numbers -- has made it difficult to trade him, and my OF depth situation seems to have been settled for the moment, with the supplemental acquisition of Colby Rasmus.

However ...

The Derelicts remain in the market for a steady closer. My two injured third basemen, Mike Lowell and Alex Gordon, were both activated this week, so I am looking at either being forced to drop one of them or swing a deal.

That said, I'm offering the services of Clint Barmes, Gordon or Lowell (but would be willing to possibly discuss Ian Stewart), LaTroy Hawkins, and my supplemental pick for a package that would include a lesser backup 2B, a weaker 3B (who I would likely drop) and a consistent ninth-inning guy.

Just gauging the interest."

The Double D's (35-58) had their best week recently (5-1) but are 22 games back of the National Division-leading Cherry Valley Bombers.

SBL Notebook, Week 15

This was All-Star week, the "short" week, and in its honor we will attempt (though, knowing us, most likely fail) to keep this (relatively) short. Frankly we've never liked this week, and the less said about it the better. The statistical sample is pint-sized, about half the numbers you'd see in a normal week, a situation exacerbated by the recent phenomenon of MLB's conducting a severely abbreviated schedule on the Thursday after the Midsummer Classic. Used to be we'd at least get four full days of stats out of this week; now it's not even 3½ . Yet we treat the week as we would any other, the small price we pay for our lovely, symmetrical, 26-week, 162-game schedule -- a half-week statistically, but a full, six-game week in the standings. Thus that shrunken sample can yield some outsized swings on the leaderboard -- which is exactly what happened in the American division, where Paulo's Zero's got a couple of bad pitching outings, the BGoff Bammers got a couple of good ones, and just like that the Zero's lost almost half of what had been an 11-game lead, their 1-5 fade coupling with the Bams' 6-0 surge to lift Brian within six games of the top. For the Bammers this represented a sudden reawakening after an uncharacteristically long and pronounced slide -- six weeks in, they were 32-6 and in first place; over the next eight weeks they went 15-34 and from six games ahead of the Zero's to 11 games back, a 17-game whiplash. . . . That the Bammers accomplished their revival on the strength of their pitching was not unusual within the context of this one week. Common SBL wisdom has long held that the fewer innings you get from your pitchers, the better off you are likely to be, and this week lent considerable support to that belief. Coming out of the break, most MLB teams led with their aces, and since the majority of teams played only three games, most never got to the troublesome back end of their rotations. Thus, an SBL double whammy this week -- fewer innings, and most of those innings logged by higher-quality pitchers. The numbers that combo produced were for the most part outrageous -- two-thirds of the SBL's ERAs were 3.05 or better, seven of those were under 2.8 and five were under 1.75. The Patton Inmates logged a 1.74 ERA, only to see it trumped by two teams in their own division; the Mental Defectives went 2-4 but deserved much better. There were also three BR stats under 1.00, a rarely-seen feat; in fact all three were under .90, including the Inmates' .87 -- which again was beaten by a division rival, in this case Vic's Godfathers' .75. Oddly, however, the team with the shoddiest pitching -- Dan's Cherry Valley Bombers, crafters of a bloated 5.21 ERA and 1.74 BR stat, both league worsts -- actually had one of the better weeks, going 4-2 and adding two games to their National division lead, now six games over JP's Whiteskins.

Week 15 standings

AMERICAN
Team, LW........W....L....PCT....GB
Paul (1-5)........59....34....634...--
Brian (6-0).......53....40....570....6
Dennis (5-1).....49....44....527...10
Mike (2-4).......46....47....495...13
Andy (3-3).......45....48....484...14
David (0-6)......38....55....409...21
NATIONAL
Team, LW........W....L....PCT....GB
Dan (4-2).........57....36....613...--
JP (2-4)...........51....42....538....6
Gregg (2-4)......43....50....462...14
Vic (5-1)..........42....51....452...15
Damian (1-5).....39....54....419...18
Derek (5-1).......35....58....376...22

SBL Notebook, Week 14

One hallmark of a good SBL team is an attribute known on the pro tennis tour as Survive And Advance. That is, the ability to endure a bad patch and still maintain, or even improve, one’s station, in much the same way that, say, Roger Federer or Serena Williams manages to win on a day when he/she is far below his/her top level, and gets through to the next round at a Grand Slam. Week 14 was such a week for Paulo’s Zero’s. The American division leaders struggled all week, achieving major suckage with their second-worst ERA of the season (5.09) and offense that, right up until the figurative fantasy-league bottom of the ninth, had “0-6 collapse” written all over it. But, as good teams do, they found a way to win – in this case, three games, a .500 week that enabled them to not merely tread water and tear another week off the calendar, but to actually increase their lead over the faltering BGoff Bammers, whose second straight 0-6 misstep left them 11 games back at the All-Star break. The Zero’s rescued themselves with a big Sunday (four HRs, 14 RBIs) that dragged their offensive numbers northward to respectability, and with solid performance in some of the “fringe” categories that don’t necessarily draw the eye on a casual inspection of a box score – such as their seven saves, 1.00 K-ratio, .366 OBP and 34 TB. It didn’t add up to a monster week, just an OK one – which isn’t bad at all for a team in their lofty position. Much like a golfer with a comfortable lead in a major who’s just looking to make pars on the back nine on Sunday, walk to the tent, sign the scorecard and kiss the trophy (and the trophy wife), the Zero’s have more than a little wiggle room. Basic math suggests they probably won’t have to be great the rest of the way, just decent – they’re playing .667 ball now, and playing at a mere .560 clip over the last 12 weeks would get them to 100 wins. No one else in the AL is even halfway to 100, and only the Bammers, at 47-40, are even within one good week of the half-century plateau. It’s not over, of course – it’s baseball, anything can happen! – but the Zero’s are in an enviably comfortable position just now. . . . In other SBL news, offense is back! Whether this is a true reawakening after nearly two months of doldrums, or a one-off aberration fueled by an usually busy schedule, we shall see. But there was a perceptible uptick in the numbers this week. The most noticeable increase was in plate appearances – it was a week without any light-schedule days, with many real-ball teams playing seven games (even working on both Monday and Thursday!). And when PAs go up, other numbers can tend to follow. Witness Mikee’s Moaners, who dragged their sorry butts to the dish a league-high 271 times and, perhaps not coincidentally, came away with league highs in runs (43) and home runs (13) and second-best totals in RBIs (46) and OBP (.380). Also notably benefiting from the increased batter’s-box activity were Dan’s Cherry Valley Bombers (261 PA, 43 runs, 44 RBIs, 40 TB, 11 HR) and JP's Whiteskins (255 PA, 43 runs, 47 RBIs, 38 TB, .384 OBP). Those three teams combined to go 17-1; the Bombers' 6-0 performance added a smidgen of breathing space to their NL lead, now four games over the Whiteskins.

Week 14 standings

AMERICAN
Team, LW.........W....L....PCT....GB
Paul (3-3).........58....29....667...--
Brian (0-6)........47....40....540...11
Mike (6-0)........44....43....506...14
Dennis (5-1)......44....43....506...14
Andy (1-5)........42....45....483...16
David (2-4).......38....49....437...20
NATIONAL
Team, LW.........W....L....PCT....GB
Dan (6-0).........53....34....609...--
JP (5-1)...........49....38....563....4
Gregg (4-2).......41....46....471...12
Damian (0-6).....38....49....437...15
Vic (2-4)..........37....50....425...16
Derek (2-4).......30....57....345...23

Free agent draft No. 7

Pre-draft DL moves:
Derek: activates RP Kuo, drops SShields; activates 3B Gordon, Lowell to DL
Dan: activates 3B ARamirez, drops Fields
Dennis: activates C Doumit, drops Buck
JP: drops OF CGuillen from DL
Vic: drops 3B Encarnacion from DL

1. Derek: takes OF Rasmus, Bruce to DL
2. Vic: no response; taxi: Sanchez up, Bush down
3. David: takes 3B Beckham, Beltre to DL; taxi: Wolf, Lowe up, Baker, Harang down
4. Gregg: takes 3B Bonafacio, DeRosa to DL
5. Damian: takes SP Sadowski, drops Penny
6. Mike: takes SP Happ, drops Escobar; taxi: Happ up, Lohse down
7. Dennis: takes SP DeLaRosa, drops Wang
8. Andy: takes C Baker, Flores to DL
9. JP: takes SP Bergeson, Slowey to DL; taxi: Maholm up, ESantana down
10. Brian: takes 1B Prado, drops AdLaRoche; taxi: WRodriguez up, Millwood down
11. Dan: takes SP Contreras, moves Dempster to DL
12. Paul: takes 1B Loney, drops Giambi

Derelicts looking at overhaul

Derek Rich, owner of Derelicts (or the Double D's), is on the prowl and looking for a trading partner.

His e-mail:

"Greetings, fellow owners ... With this conveniently-timed lull in our season, I'm taking this opportunity to put some of my beloved Derelicts on the trading block, in hopes of turning things around (a la 2008). What started as a promising draft and solid April (2nd place in Week 3) has been railroaded by a parade of injuries. DD starters McCann, Votto, Gordon, Lowell, Burrell, Bruce, Willingham and the lackluster Brandon Morrow have all spent time on the DL/inactive list; relievers Shields and Kuo have been absent most of the year. Very disappointing, to say the least. That being said, I am seeking a power upgrade in the OF, a solid closer, and -- possibly -- other bullpen help. I will entertain offers for the following minions (and combinations thereof):

C AJ Pierzynski
2B Clint Barmes
2B Dustin Pedroia
3B Ian Stewart
3B Mike Lowell
3B Alex Gordon
(**I will be forced to trade on my third basemen, once Gordon and
Lowell come off the DL, so a lesser 3B would be accepted)
OF Pat Burrell
OF Josh Willingham
SP Joba Cahmberlain
RP LaTroy Hawkins

However, I will consider other Derelicts as part of potential swap, if
the deal is deemed fair. Any trade would include future draft pick(s), depending on the package."

The Double D's (28-53) are currently 6th in National Division, 19 games back of the National Division-leading Cherry Valley Bombers.

2009 SBL Rosters (Updated)

Here's an updated version of the rosters for each SBL team, thanks to commissioner Mike Davis and his roster monkey, Derek Rich.

MIKE
C: Napoli (118), YMolina (261)
1B: Ortiz (27), Branyan (S)
2B: Kendrick (131), Schumaker (287)
SS: Zobrist (S), Andrus (T)
3B: Reynolds (183), An.LaRoche (S)
OF: ASoriano (14), Ludwick (40), Span (196), Thames (274), Granderson, (T), Wells (T)
SP: Harden (79), Lester (144), Lohse (24 taxi), UJimenez (T), JShields (T)
Taxi: OPerez (1), Escobar (209)
RP: Soria (66), FCordero (92), Rodney (222), MacDougal (S)

DAMIAN
C: VMartinez (106), Barajas (288)
1B: Berkman (15), Huff (133)
2B: KJohnson (171), Kennedy (S)
SS: Furcal (54), OCabrera (210)
3B: DWright (2), Glaus (197)
OF: Quentin (41), Hunter (119), Hawpe (158), Dukes (223), JGuillen (249), Ethier (T)
SP: Lincecum (28), ClLee (93), Kazmir (146), Saunders (236), Nolasco (S)
Taxi: Penny (23), Volstad (T)
RP: FRodriguez (67), Fuentes (80), Hanrahan (184), Wheeler (T)
DL: SP Matsuzaka (146)

GREGG
C: BMolina (159), Varitek (S)
1B: CPena (94), Helton (237)
2B: Uggla (29), Callaspo (S)
SS: AlRamirez (68), YBetancourt (276)
3B: Figgins (120), DeRosa (185)
OF: Sizemore (3), Hamilton (16), BUpton (42), Choo (224), Fukudome (290), Reimold (S)
SP: Price (107), Cain (121), Kershaw (172), Scherzer (211), Davies (S)
Taxi: Kawakami (3), Richmond (S)
RP: Lidge (55), Jenks (81), Capps (134), Marmol (147)

PAUL
C: Ianetta (109), KSuzuki (264)
1B: Pujols (4), Giambi (173)
2B: Hudson (225), Castillo (S)
SS: Renteria (212), HaRamirez (T)
3B: Kouzmanoff (199), Blalock (251)
OF: Markakis (17), Ordonez (56), Cameron (278), Lind (291), Pierre (S), Sheffield (S)
SP: FHernandez (95), Gallardo (135), RJohnson (186), Kuroda (265), JerWeaver (4 taxi)
Taxi: Liriano (82), Hughes (S)
RP: Papelbon (30) MRivera (69), Street (122), Bell (148)
DL: 2B Weeks (108), OF Nady (T)

DEREK
C: McCann (57), Pierzynski (226)
1B: Howard (5), Votto (70)
2B: Pedroia (18), Barmes (213)
SS: Hardy (96), Guzman (S)
3B: Lowell (187), Stewart (S)
OF: Rios (44), Burrell (110), Bruce (136), Werth (161), Griffey (239), Willingham (S)
SP: JSantana (31), Chamberlain (83), Danks (149), Jurrjens (174), Blackburn (S)
Taxi: Meche (5), Carmona (253)
RP: Morrow (97), Downs (200), SShields (252), Hawkins (S)
DL: 3B Gordon (123), RP Kuo (266)

DENNIS
C: Saltalamacchia (254), Buck (S)
1B: Fielder (32), Butler (S)
2B: Cano (84), FSanchez (227)
SS: JReyes (6), Theriot (188)
3B: RZimmerman (124), Crede (240)
OF: Holliday (19), Ellsbury (58), Bradley (85), JUpton (162), Cuddyer (S), Morgan (S)
SP: Halladay (45), Haren (71), Wainwright (137), Verlander (175), Floyd (6 taxi)
Taxi: Wang (241), Glavine (19)
RP: Sherrill (150), Arredondo (214), Saito (280), CWilson (S)
DL: C Doumit (111), 1B Delgado (98)

BRIAN
C: IRodriguez (242), Bard (S)
1B: Cantu (176), Ad.LaRoche (S)
2B: JLopez (86), FLopez (229)
SS: Hairston (S), Scutaro (T)
3B: Longoria (20), Rolen (294)
OF: Braun (7), Bay (33), Dye (112), Damon (151), Francoeur (215),
Spilborghs (268)
SP: Hamels (72), Beckett (72), Carpenter (138) JJohnson (163),
Millwood (S)
Taxi: CYoung (T), WRodriguez (228)
RP: Broxton (99), MGonzalez (125), Putz (202), Zumaya (S)

DAVID
C: Mauer (100), Jaramillo (S)
1B: MiCabrera (8), NJohnson (S)
2B: BRoberts (47), Getz (295)
SS: Jeter (87), Bartlett (256)
3B: Beltre (113), Mora (190)
OF: CaLee (21), Guerrero (60), Pence (126), Crisp (203), Winn (217), CRoss (S)
SP: Sabathia (34), Webb (61), SBaker (139), Harang (216), RHill (S)
Taxi: Lowe (164), Wolf (17)
RP: Valverde (74), FFrancisco (152), Franklin (S), Bailey (S)

ANDY
C: Soto (62), Flores (270)
1B: Teixeira (9), Konerko (205)
2B: Polanco (178), AHill (S)
SS: SDrew (49), Tulowitzki (S)
3B: CJones (48), Sandoval (88)
OF: Beltran (22), ISuzuki (35), Ibanez (101), AdJones (218), Cust (T), McCutchen (S)
SP: Greinke (114), Burnett (165), Porcello (191), Hanson (T), Romero (S)
Taxi: Anderson (9), Buchholz (244)
RP: BWilson (75), Motte (127), Qualls (140), Aardsma (T)

JP
C: Martin (37), Wieters (193)
1B: Morneau (23), Thome (166)
2B: Utley (10), Cabrera (S)
SS: YEscobar (128), Aybar (S)
3B: MYoung (63), Blake (284)
OF: Abreu (50), Victorino (76), Kubel (245), JDrew (271), Bourn (S), Scott (S)
SP: Slowey (179), Garza (219), Bedard (258), EJackson (S), Cueto (10 taxi)
Taxi: ESantana (192), Maholm (15)
RP: Nathan (36), Gregg (89), Ziegler (141), Meyer (S)
DL: OF CGuillen (102), RP Lindstrom (154)

VIC
C: RHernandez (194), Navarro (272)
1B: AdGonzalez (77), DLee (129)
2B: BPhillips (51) KMatsui (233)
SS: Rollins (11), Greene (259)
3B: ARodriguez (24), Inge (S)
OF: Kemp (25), Crawford (38), Hart (90), Ankiel (207), JRivera (285), Duncan (S)
SP: Oswalt (103), Lackey (116), JVazquez (155), Duke (S), Bush (S)
Taxi: Maine (11), JSanchez (14)
RP: Ryan (142), Balfour (246), Villanueva (298), Soriano (S)
DL: SP Peavy (64), 3B Encarnacion (181)

DAN
C: Posada (234), Laird (286)
1B: Youkilis (39), KMorales (299)
2B: Kinsler (13), Teahen (221)
SS: Peralta (65), Tejada (208)
3B: Fields (247), Feliz (S)
OF: MRamirez (12), McLouth (52), Dunn (78), CYoung (130), NCruz (156), Swisher (S)
SP: Dempster (104), Billingsley (117), Zambrano (156), Lilly (168), Lannan (13 taxi)
Taxi: Smoltz (12), Volquez (143)
RP: Wood (91), Hoffman (182), Howell (S), Nunez (S)
DL: 3B ArRamirez (26)

Badgers need a catcher

The Badgers, befallen by backstop woes, are looking for a warm body to occupy the tools of ignorance.

Andy's e-mail:

"Geovany Soto got hurt today and Jesus Flores is out for the season, so I need to acquire a catcher with my draft pick. Perhaps you have a lightly used backup and you could make use of a second draft pick? Let me know, thanks."

The Badgers have had something of a revolving-door roster policy this season though it hasn't seemed to hurt them too badly thus far. The Badgers (41-40) currently sit in 3rd place in the American Division, 14 games behind the first place Zero's.

SBL Notebook, Week 13

Our arrival at the season’s midpoint is as good a time as any to disperse into the atmosphere our seemingly annual rumination/screed on the sadly diminished state of offense in the SBL. Two or three years ago, back when ’roids were still the rage, the kind of hitting numbers we’re seeing these days, and have been for some weeks, would’ve gotten you laughed out of the league by some of our less charitable owners -- not to mention a virtually guaranteed losing week. No more. Today, you can post minuscule (by traditional standards) numbers across the board and still cobble together a winning or even damn-near-unbeaten week. This week’s Exhibit A of this phenomenon -- and we deploy this example only because it involves the commissioner’s favorite (and, paradoxically, often most-hated) team -- would be Mikee’s Moaners, who got small to the tune of 5 HRs, 28 RBIs, 24 TB, 30 runs and 3 SBs . . . and still went 5-1. Seven saves, a 1.05 K-rat and .360 OBP certainly didn’t hurt their cause, but overall their pitching was nothing special (3.48 ERA, 1.29 BR, 3-3 WL) -– meaning that to a significant degree their diminutive offense carried them to those five wins. In other words, they may have been bad, but others were worse. But that’s nothing new this year -– no matter how bad your team’s stats might look on paper/computer screen, you can often count on somebody else being even tinier. Used to be, double-digit home-run counts and run, RBI and TB totals in the high 30s to low-mid 40s were pretty much the baseline you needed to get to if you wanted to be competitive. Now, low 30s and, increasingly, even the mid-20s are enough to get the job done. With apologies to Jimmy Carter, welcome to the SBL’s Era of Limits. Even as recently as last season, it seemed the league’s fallow periods of offense were always ephemeral, lasting no more than a couple-three weeks. This season is different. We crunched a few numbers and found that over the last seven weeks -– a little more than half the season to date –- the league’s 12 teams have averaged a puny 29.6 RBIs and 30.2 runs. Seven weeks -- that’s not a temporary blip on the screen, that’s a full-blown trend. What’s particularly odd is that teams have been averaging more runs than RBIs (consider that a player can accumulate as many as four RBIs with a single swing, while runs can be accrued only one at a time and usually require help from teammates), and that the average number of home runs during our sample period has actually been a fairly respectable 8.3 per team. So what does this mean –- that 80% to 90% of SBL players’ home runs are solo shots? Who knows? This ain’t the Elias Bureau we’re running over here. All we know is that homers and RBIs usually go together like ballpark franks and beer, but this year there’s a disconnect –- witness Dennis’ Puny Pontiffs’ incongruous totals of 10 HRs and 21 RBIs this week, or the Moaners’ 10 and 24 last week. What we also know: offense, in general, has fallen off a cliff. The steroid era may have been a stain on baseball that won’t wash out, but we in the fantasy world sure do miss it. . . . Meanwhile, in the SBL pennant chases (oh yeah, those), there was significant movement in the American division, where Paulo’s Zeros blew the race open a little bit, executing on 5-and-1-to-0-and-6 pirouette on the second-place BGoff Bammers’ heads and nearly tripling their lead, which leapt from three games to eight. The NL race was static, with Dan’s Cherry Valley Bombers and runners-up JP’s Whiteskins still separated by three games after both went 5-1.

Week 13 standings

AMERICAN
Team, LW........W....L....PCT....GB
Paul (5-1).........55...26....679....--
Brian (0-6)........47...34....580....8
Andy (5-1)........41...40....506...14
Dennis (3-3)......39...42....481...16
Mike (5-1)........38...43....469...17
David (1-5).......36...45....444...19
NATIONAL
Team, LW........W....L....PCT....GB
Dan (5-1).........47...34....580....--
JP (5-1)...........44...37....543....3
Damian (1-5).....38...43....469....9
Gregg (3-3).......37...44....457...10
Vic (3-3)..........35...46....432...12
Derek (0-6).......28...53....346...19

SBL Notebook, Week 12

The races in both divisions grow curiouser and curiouser, with Paulo’s Zero’s assuming a controlling interest in the AL corporate hierarchy, and aspirants to the NL throne bunching up like rush-hour traffic behind the faltering but still standing division leaders, Dan’s Cherry Valley Bombers. The Zero’s, a good team throughout most of their SBL residency that for whatever reason has rarely been able to reach the top of the mountain, may be standing on the doorstep of something approaching greatness, now that they employ perhaps the two most productive hitters in ball, Albert Pujols and Hanley Ramirez, the latter generously donated by the defending champion Moaners. Those two superstars, plus a lights-out rotation and the league’s best bullpen, have made the Z’s the BTIB and fueled a 7-0 Week 12 that lifted them three games ahead of the runner-up BGoff Bammers. Zero’s pitchers definitely lived up to the name on the front of their jerseys this week, putting up goose egg after goose egg while allowing a mere seven earned runs in 43 IP for a glossy 1.47 ERA. Then there were the 4-0 WL, the .93 BR stat, the 1.05 K-rat and the 10 (!) saves . . . who’s gonna beat that? Nobody, this week, though Andy’s Badgers gave it a run, posting a 1.96 ERA and 5-2 WL to complement the week’s biggest offense (14 HR, 45 runs, 35 TB, 8 SBs, .372 OBP) in a 6-1 performance marred only by their 7-4, swept-in-pitching loss to the Zero’s. . . . Over in the National division, the Bombers’ 1-6 slip compounded a slide that has reached 3-16 over the last three weeks, a clear indication that they are missing the offensive punch provided early in the season by the Ramirez boys, the suspended Manny and the still-injured Aramis. Perhaps Manny’s return this week will re-energize the CVBs, who nonetheless continue to cling to a three-game lead in a division with only one other winning team (that would be JP’s Whiteskins, who missed another opportunity to make up serious ground, going 2-5). But look out for the Patton Inmates, whose 6-1 ledger made them 17-2 over that same three-week stretch. The WTIB with a 17-39 record after Week 9, the ’Mates have taken a meat cleaver to what was then a 22-game deficit – they now trail the CVBs by eight, and are only five out of the No. 2 playoff spot occupied by the ’Skins. . . . Special citation of the week goes to Vic’s Godfathers, whose pitchers allowed only four earned runs – one week after they gave up 34. The 0.83 ERA helped the Daddies go 4-3.

Week 12 standings

AMERICAN
Team, LW........W....L....PCT....GB
Paul (7-0).........50....25....667....--
Brian (4-3)........47....28....627.....3
Andy (6-1)........36....39....480....14
Dennis (2-5)......36....39....480....14
David (0-7).......35....40....467....15
Mike (3-4)........33....42....440....17
NATIONAL
Team, LW........W....L....PCT.....GB
Dan (1-6).........42....33....560....--
JP (2-5)...........39....36....520.....3
Damian (5-2).....37....38....493.....5
Gregg (6-1).......34....41....453.....8
Vic (4-3)..........32....43....427....10
Derek (2-5).......28....47....373....14

Free agent draft No. 6

Pre-draft DL moves:
Damian: activates Kazmir, Matsuzaka to DL
Gregg: activates Sizemore and Lidge, drops Hermida, Madson, Ellis

1. Derek: takes 3B Stewart, drops Barden; taxi: Danks up, Meche down
2. Vic: no response
3. Gregg: takes C Varitek, drops Snyder
4. Mike: takes RP MacDougal, drops Percival
5. Andy: takes SP Romero, drops Cecil; taxi: Romero up, Anderson down
6. Damian: takes SP Nolasco, drops Galarraga; taxi: Nolasco up, Volstad down, Penny No. 1 taxi
7. Dennis: takes OF Morgan, drops Jackson
8. David: takes SP R. Hill, drops Sonnanstine; taxi: Hill up, Lowe down
9. JP: takes RP Meyer, Lindstrom to DL
10. Dan: takes RP Nunez, drops Baez; taxi: Lannan up, Volquez down
11. Brian: takes C Bard, drops Baker; taxi: Millwood up, CYoung down
12. Paul: takes OF Sheffield, drops Nix; taxi: Kuroda up, Hughes down