2012 SBL Draft

FIRST ROUND
1. Matt Kemp, OF, Dodgers (Inmates)
2. Albert Pujols, 1B, Angels (Bammers)
3. Miguel Cabrera, 3B, Tigers (Godfathers)
4. Troy Tulowitzki, SS, Rockies (Whiteskins)
5. Jose Bautista, OF, Blue Jays (Zero's)
6. Robinson Cano, 2B, Yankees (Barristers)
7. Prince Fielder, 1B, Tigers (DamUnited)
8. Jacoby Ellsbury, OF, Red Sox (Moaners)
9. Carlos Gonzalez, OF, Rockies (Pontiffs)
10. Joey Votto, 1B, Reds (Derelicts)
11. Hanley Ramirez, 3B, Marlins (Badgers)
12. Adrian Gonzalez, 1B, Red Sox (Bombers)
13. Ryan Braun, OF, Brewers (Bombers)
SECOND ROUND
14. Ian Kinsler, 2B, Rangers (Inmates)
15. Evan Longoria, 3B, Rays (Bammers)
16. Dustin Pedroia, 2B, Red Sox (Godfathers)
17. Curtis Granderson, OF, Yankees (Whiteskins)
18. Mark Teixeira, 1B, Yankees (Zero's)
19. Justin Upton, OF, Diamondbacks (Barristers)
20. Giancarlo Stanton, OF, Marlins (DamUnited)
21. Jose Reyes, SS, Marlins (Moaners)
22. Josh Hamilton, OF, Rangers (Pontiffs)
23. Matt Holliday, OF, Cardinals (Derelicts)
24. Andrew McCutcheon, OF, Pirates (Badgers)
25. Clayton Kershaw, SP, Dodgers (Badgers)
26. Adrian Beltre, 3B, Rangers (Bombers)
THIRD ROUND
27. Asdrubal Cabrera, SS, Indians (Inmates)
28. Carlos Santana, C, Indians (Bammers)
29. Michael Bourn, OF, Braves (Godfathers)
30. Justin Verlander, SP, Tigers (Whiteskins)
31. Kevin Youkilis, 3B, Red Sox (Zero's)
32. Roy Halladay, SP, Phillies (Barristers)
33. Cliff Lee, SP, Phillies (DamUnited)
34. Alex Rodriguez, 3B, Yankees (Moaners)
35. Eric Hosmer, 1B, Royals (Pontiffs)
36. Hunter Pence, OF, Phillies (Derelicts)
37. Jered Weaver, SP, Angels (Derelicts)
38. Starlin Castro, SS, Cubs (Badgers)
39. Bradon Phillips, 2B, Reds (Bombers)
FOURTH ROUND
40. Aramis Ramirez, 3B, White Sox (Inmates)
41. Cole Hamels, SP, Phillies (Bammers)
42. Elvis Andrus, SS, Rangers (Godfathers)
43. Ryan Zimmerman, 3B, Nationals (Whiteskins)
44. Dan Uggla, 2B, Braves (Zero's)
45. David Wright, 3B, Mets (Barristers)
46. Ben Zobrist, 2B, Rays (DamUnited)
47. Nelson Cruz, OF, Rangers (Moaners)
48. Dan Haren, SP, Angels (Pontiffs)
49. Mike Napoli, C, Rangers (Pontiffs)
50. Felix Hernandez, SP, Marinerz (Derelicts)
51. Alex Gordon, OF, Royals (Badgers)
52. Erick Aybar, SS, Angels (Bombers)
FIFTH ROUND
53. Tim Lincecum, OF, Giants (Inmates)
54. Howie Kendrick, 2B, Angels (Bammers)
55. Jay Bruce, OF, Reds (Godfathers)
56. Andre Ethier, OF, Dodgers (Whiteskins)
57. Stephen Strasburg, SP, Nationals (Zero's)
58. Paul Konerko, 1B, White Sox (Barristers)
59. C.C. Sabathia, SP, Yankees (DamUnited)
60. Kendrys Morales, 1B, Angels (Moaners)
61. Josh Johnson, SP, Marlins (Moaners)
62. Shin-Soo Shoo, OF, Indians (Pontiffs)
63. Brian McCann, C, Braves (Derelicts)
64. Lance Berkman, 1B, Cardinals (Badgers)
65. Carlos Beltran, OF, Cardinals (Bombers)
SIXTH ROUND
66. Zach Greinke, SP, Brewers (Inmates)
67. Brett Lawrie, 3B, Blue Jays (Bammers)
68. David Price, SP, Rays (Godfathers)
69. Jemile Weeks, 2B, Athletics (Whiteskins)
70. Craig Kimbrel, RP, Braves (Zero's)
71. Jimmy Rollins, SS, Phillies (Barristers)
72. Desmond Jennings, OF, Rays (DamUnited)
73. Pablo Sanchez, 3B, Giants (DamUnited)
74. Ricky Weeks, 2B, Brewers (Moaners)
75. Jason Heyward, OF, Braves (Pontiffs)
76. Jhonny Peralta, SS, Indians (Derelicts)
77. Matt Moore, SP, Rays (Badgers)
78. Buster Posey, C, Giants (Bombers)
SEVENTH ROUND
79. David Ortiz, 1B, Red Sox (Inmates)
80. B.J. Upton, OF, Rays (Bammers)
81. Shane Victorino, OF, Phillies (Godfathers)
82. Mariano Rivera, RP, Yankees (Whiteskins)
83. John Axford, RP, Brewers (Zero's)
84. Matt Weiters, C, Orioles (Barristers)
85. Jonathan Papelbon, RP, Phillies (Barristers)
86. Mark Reynolds, 3B, Orioles (DamUnited)
87. Miguel Montero, C, Diamondbacks (Moaners)
88. Alexei Ramirez, SS, White Sox (Pontiffs)
89. Michael Young, 1B, Rangers (Derelicts)
90. Madison Bumgarner, SP, Giants (Badgers)
91. Billy Butler, DH, Royals (Bombers)
EIGHTH ROUND
92. Alex Avila, C, Tigers (Inmates)
93. Matt Cain, SP, Giants (Bammers)
94. Yovani Gallardo, SP, Brewers (Godfathers)
95. Matt Garza, SP, Cubs (Whiteskins)
96. Jon Lester, SP, Red Sox (Zero's)
97. Heath Bell, RP, Marlins (Zero's)
98. Adam Jones, OF, Orioles (Barristers)
99. Yu Darvish, SP, Rangers (DamUnited)
100. J.J. Putz, RP, Diamondbacks (Moaners)
101. Jose Valverde, RP, Tigers (Pontiffs)
102. Neil Walker, 2B, Pirates (Derelicts)
103. Joe Mauer, C, Twins (Badgers)
104. James Shields, RP, Rays (Bombers)
NINTH ROUND
105. Brian Wilson, RP, Giants (Inmates)
106. Jayson Werth, OF, Nationals (Bammers)
107. Michael Morse, OF, Nationals (Godfathers)
108. Drew Storen, RP, Nationals (Whitekins)
109. Michael Cuddyer, OF, Rockies (Whiteskins)
110. Chris Young, OF, Diamondbacks (Zero's)
111. C.J. Wilson, SP, Angels (Barristers)
112. J.P. Arencibia, C, Blue Jays (DamUnited)
113. Brandon League, RP, Mariners (Moaners)
114. Mark Trumbo, 3B, Angels (Pontiffs)
115. Nick Markakis, OF, Orioles (Derelicts)
116. Jordan Walden, RP, Angels (Badgers)
117. Melky Cabrera, OF, Giants (Bombers)
TENTH ROUND
118. Andrew Bailey, RP, Red Sox (Inmates)
119. Sergio Santos, RP, Blue Jays (Bammers)
120. Ian Kennedy, SP, Diamondbacks (Godfathers)
121. Freddie Freeman, 1B, Braves (Godfathers)
122. Adam Lind, 1B, Blue Jays (Whiteskins)
123. Carlos Pena, 1B, Rays (Zero's)
124. Brett Gardner, OF, Yankees (Barristers)
125. Brennan Boesch, OF, Tigers (DamUnited)
126. Vance Worley, SP, Phillies (Moaners)
127. Dustin Ackley, 2B, Mariners (Pontiffs)
128. Ricky Romero, SP, Blue Jays (Derelicts)
129. Sean Marshall, RP, Reds (Badgers)
130. Josh Beckett, SP, Red Sox (Bombers)
ELEVENTH ROUND
131. Javy Guerra, RP, Dodgers (Inmates)
132. Adam Wainwright, SP, Cardinals (Bammers)
133. Tommy Hanson, SP, Braves (Bammers)
134. Huston Street, RP, Padres (Godfathers)
135. Drew Stubbs, OF, Reds (Whiteskins)
136. Nick Swisher, OF, Yankees (Zero's)
137. J.J. Hardy, SS, Orioles (Barristers)
138. Dee Gordon, SS, Dodgers (DamUnited)
139. Jordan Zimmerman, RP, Nationals (Moaners)
140. Jeremy Hellickson, SP, Rays (Pontiffs)
141. Joel Hanrahan, RP, Pirates (Derelicts)
142. Rafael Betancourt, RP, Rockies (Badgers)
143. Corey Lubke, SP, Padres (Bombers)
TWELFTH ROUND
144. Anibal Sanchez, SP, Marlins (Inmates)
145. Kyle Farnsworth, RP, Rays (Inmates)
146. Torii Hunter, OF, Angels (Bammers)
147. Carlos Marmol, RP, Cubs (Godfathers)
148. Ichiro Suzuki, OF, Mariners (Whiteskins)
149. Brandon Beachy, SP, Braves (Zero's)
150. Ubaldo Jimenez, SP, Indians (Barristers)
151. Gio Gonzalez, SP, Nationals (DamUnited)
152. Grant Balfour, RP, Athletics (Moaners)
153. Max Scherzer, SP, Tigers (Pontiffs)
154. Matt Moustakas, 3B, Royals (Derelicts)
155. Yoenis Cespedes, OF, Athletics (Badgers)
156. Mat Latos, SP, Reds (Bombers)
THIRTEENTH ROUND
157. Corey Hart, OF, Brewers (Inmates)
158. Adam Dunn, 1B, White Sox (Bammers)
159. Daniel Hudson, SP, Diamondbacks (Godfathers)
160. Brandon Morrow, SP, Blue Jays (Whiteskins)
161. Wandy Rodriguez, SP, Astros (Zero's)
162. Michael Pineda, SP, Yankees (Barristers)
163. Chris Perez, RP, Indians (DamUnited)
164. Ervin Santana, SP, Angels (Moaners)
165. Matt Capps, RP, Twins (Pontiffs)
166. Doug Fister, SP, Tigers (Derelicts)
167. Jason Motte, RP, Cardinals (Badgers)
168. Joe Nathan, RP, Rangers (Bombers)
169. Jonathan Broxton, RP, Royals (Bombers)
FOURTEENTH ROUND
170. Cameron Maybin, OF, Padres (Inmates)
171. Lorenzo Cain, OF, Royals (Moaners)
172. Frank Francisco, RP, Mets (Godfathers)
173. Jesus Montero, C, Mariners (Whiteskins)
174. Yunel Escobar, SS, Blue Jays (Godfathers)
175. Ted Lilly, SP, Dodgers (Barristers)
176. Matt Thornton, RP, White Sox (DamUnited)
177. Austin Jackson, OF, Tigers (Moaners)
178. Derek Jeter, SS, Yankees (Pontiffs)
179. Shaun Marcun, SP, Brewers (Derelicts)
180. Mat Gamel, 1B, Brewers (Badgers)
181. Matt Kipnis, 2B, Indians (Badgers)
182. Jimmy Johnson, RP, Orioles (Bombers)
FIFTEENTH ROUND
183. Ryan Roberts, 3B, Diamondbacks (Inmates)
184. Kenley Jansen, RP, Dodgers (Bammers)
185. Carl Crawford, OF, Red Sox (Godfathers)
186. Brett Myers, RP, Astros (Whiteskins)
187. Josh Willingham, OF, Twins (Zero's)
188. Tyler Clippard, RP, Nationals (Barristers)
189. Jonny Venters, RP, Braves (DamUnited)
190. Edwin Encarnacion, 3B, Blue Jays (Moaners)
191. Darwin Barney, 2B, Cubs (Pontiffs)
192. Chase Utley, 2B, Phillies (Derelicts)
193. Martin Prado, OF, Braves (Derelicts)
194. Mike Minor, SP, Braves (Badgers)
195. Dexter Fowler, OF, Rockies (Bombers)
SIXTEENTH ROUND
196. Cody Ross, OF, Red Sox, (Inmates)
197. Addison Reed, RP, White Sox (Bammers)
198. Emilio Bonifacio, OF, Marlins (Godfathers)
199. Drew Pomeranz, SP, Rockies (Whiteskins)
200. Wilton Ramos, C, Nationals (Zero's)
201. Logan Morrison, OF, Marlins (Barristers)
202. Lucas Duda, OF, Mets (DamUnited)
203. Marcos Scutaro, 2B, Rockies (Moaners)
204. David Freese, 3B, Cardinals (Pontiffs)
205. Justin Masterson, SP, Indians (Pontiffs)
206. Casey McGehee, 3B, Pirates (Derelicts)
207. Aaron Hill, 2B, Diamondbacks (Badgers)
208. Kelly Johnson, 2B, Blue Jays (Bombers)
SEVENTEENTH ROUND
209. Danny Espinoza, 2B, Nationals (Inmates)
210. Ian Desmond, SS, Nationals (Bammers)
211. Carlos Lee, 1B, Astros (Godfathers)
212. Giovani Soto, C, Cubs (Whiteskins)
213. Chris Ianneta, C, Angels (Zero's)
214. Ike Davis, 1B, Mets (Barristers)
215. Yadier Molina, C, Cardinals (DamUnited)
216. Johnny Cueto, SP, Reds (Moaners)
217. Aroldis Chapman, RP, Reds (Moaners)
218. John Buck, C, Marlins (Pontiffs)
219. Antonio Bastardo, RP, Phillies (Derelicts)
220. Colby Rasmus, OF, Cardinals (Badgers)
221. Cliff Pennington, SS, Athletics (Bombers)
EIGHTEENTH ROUND
222. Stephen Drew, SS, Diamondbacks (Inmates)
223. Delmon Young, OF, Tigers (Bammers)
224. Russell Martin, C, Yankees (Godfathers)
225. Gaby Sanchez, 1B, Marlins (Whiteskins)
226. Jason Kubel, OF, Diamondbacks (Zero's)
227. Angel Pagan, OF, Giants (Barristers)
228. Vernon Wells, OF, Angels (DamUnited)
229. Ryan Howard, 1B, Phillies (DamUnited)
230. Matt Joyce, OF, Rays (Moaners)
231. Peter Bourjos, OF, Angels (Pontiffs)
232. Alfornso Soriano, OF, Cubs (Derelicts)
233. Raul Ibanez, OF, Yankees (Badgers)
234. J.D. Martinez, OF, Astros (Bombers)
NINETEENTH ROUND
235. Paul Goldschmidt, 1B, Diamondbacks (Inmates)
236. Vinnie Pestano, RP, Indians (Bammers)
237. Neftali Feliz, SP, Rangers (Godfathers)
238. Jose Altuve, 2B, Astros (Whitekins)
239. Michael Brantley, OF, Indians (Zero's)
240. Danny Valencia, 3B, Twins (Barristers)
241. Ryan Rayburn, 2B, Tigers (Barristers)
242. Daniel Murphy, 2B, Mets (DamUnited)
243. Justin Morneau, 1B, Twins (Moaners)
244. James Loney, 1B, Dodgers (Pontiffs)
245. Greg Holland, RP, Royals (Derelicts)
246. Matt Lucroy, C, Brewers (Badgers)
247. Hiroki Kuroda, SP, Yankees (Bombers)
TWENTIETH ROUND
248. Ramon Hernandez, C, Rockies (Inmates)
249. Zach Cozart, SS, Reds (Bammers)
250. Joel Peralta, RP, Rays (Godfathers)
251. Hector Santiago, RP, White Sox (Whiteskins)
252. Jaime Garcia, SP, Cardinals (Zero's)
253. Mark Melancon, RP, Red Sox (Zero's)
254. Kurt Suzuki, C, Athletics (Barristers)
255. Jeff Francoeur, OF, Royals (DamUnited)
256. Jarrod Saltalamacchia, C, Red Sox (Moaners)
257. Ricky Nolasco, SP, Marlins (Pontiffs)
258. Miguel Olivo, C, Marlins (Derelicts)
259. Ryan Vogelsong, SP, Giants (Badgers)
260. Chase Headley, 3B, Padres (Bombers)
TWENTY-FIRST ROUND
261. Nolan Reimold, OF, Orioles (Inmates)
262. Coco Crisp, OF, Athletics (Bammers)
263. Ryan Doumit, C, Twins (Godfathers)
264. Alcides Escobar, SS, Royals (Whiteskins)
265. Jose Tabata, OF, Pirates (Whiteskins)
266. Placido Polanco, 3B, Phillies (Zero's)
267. Alex Rios, OF, White Sox (Barristers)
268. Edinson Volquez, SP, Padres (DamUnited)
269. John Mayberry Jr., OF, Phillies (Moaners)
270. Allen Craig, OF, Cardinals (Pontiffs)
271. Alex Gonzalez, SS, Brewers (Derelicts)
272. Brandon Crawford, SS, Giants (Badgers)
273. Sergio Romo, RP, Giants (Bombers)
TWENTY-SECOND ROUND
274. Clay Bucholz, SP, Red Sox (Inmates)
275. Brandon McCarthy, SP, Athletics (Bammers)
276. Mike Aviles, SS, Red Sox (Godfathers)
277. Gordon Beckham, 2B, White Sox (Godfathers)
278. Trevor Cahill, SP, Diamondbacks (Whiteskins)
279. Orlando Hudson, 2B, Padres (Zero's)
280. Rafael Soriano, RP, Yankees (Barristers)
281. Mike Adams, RP, Rangers (DamUnited)
282. Rafael Furcal, SS, Cardinals (Moaners)
283. Fautino De Los Santos, RP, Athletics (Pontiffs)
284. Jesse Crain, RP, White Sox (Derelicts)
285. Pedro Alvarez, 3B, Pirates (Badgers)
286. Carlos Quentin, OF, Padres (Bombers)
TWENTY-THIRD ROUND
287. Chris Sale, SP, White Sox (Inmates)
288. Omar Infante, 2B, Marlins (Bammers)
289. Devin Mesoraco, C, Reds (Bammers)
290. Brett Morel, 3B, White Sox (Godfathers)
291. Alberto Callaspo, 3B, Angels (Whiteskins)
292. Sean Rodriguez, SS, Rays (Zero's)
293. Brad Lidge, RP, Nationals (Barristers)
294. Willie Bloomquist, SS, Diamondbacks (DamUnited)
295. Juan Rivera, OF, Dodgers (Moaners)
296. Joaquin Benoit, RP, Tigers (Pontiffs)
297. Ryan Ludwick, OF, Reds (Derelicts)
298. Brandon Belt, OF, Giants (Badgers)
299. Rod Barajas, C, Pirates (Bombers)
300. Chris Heisey, OF, Reds (Inmates)
TAXI-SQUAD ROUND (1)
1. Chris Carpenter, SP, Cardinals (Inmates)
2. Henderson Alvarez, SP, Blue Jays (Bammers)
3. Johan Santana, SP, Mets (Godfathers)
4. Bud Norris, SP, Astros (Whiteskins)
5. John Danks, SP, White Sox (Zero's)
6. Colby Lewis, SP, Rangers (Barristers)
7. Francisco Liriano, SP, Twins (DamUnited)
8. Chad Billingsley, SP, Dodgers (Moaners)
9. Jonathan Sanchez, SP, Royals (Pontiffs)
10. Derek Holland, SP, Rangers (Derelicts)
11. Juan Nicasio, SP, Rockies (Badgers)
12. Chris Capuano, SP, Dodgers (Bombers)
TAXI-SQUAD ROUND (2)
13. Scott Baker, SP, Twins (Bombers)
14. Kyle Lohse, SP, Cardinals (Badgers)
15. Gavin Floyd, SP, White Sox (Derelicts)
16. Edwin Jackson, SP, Nationals (Pontiffs)
17. Jhoulys Chacin, SP, Rockies (Moaners)
18. Jake Peavy, SP, White Sox (DamUnited)
19. Jair Jurrjens, SP, Braves (Barristers)
20. Ryan Dempster, SP, Cubs (Zero's)
21. Roy Oswalt, SP, Free Agent (Whiteskins)
22. Jon Niese, SP, Mets (Godfathers)
23. Tim Hudson, SP, Braves (Bammers)
24. Tim Stauffer, SP, Padres (Inmates)

Just Moments Away Now

After finally connecting with everyone across the globe, we're now almost ready to go.

We're breaking down certain players, position-by-position. After the hurly-burly settles into a dull roar, we'll get going.

The Inmates are on the clock.

Draft Order

1. Inmates
2. Bammers
3. Godfathers
4. Whiteskins
5. Zero's
6. Barristers
7. DamUnited
8. Moaners
9. Puny Pontiffs
10. Derelicts
11. Badgers
12. Bombers

Running Late But Ready To Go

So far there are five owners at the Hacienda in Chino Hills and it's almost 10 min. after the supposed 12:30 p.m. start.

Owners for the Inmates, Bammers, Barristers, Derelicts and Puny Pontiffs are the first to show. And the owner of the Barristers said "What the f*ck?" in response to not more owners being here.

So basically, we're right on time.

Draft Date (Almost Apparently) Set

It appears they're going ahead with their elaborate prank.

From The Commish:

"The 2012 SBL Draft is set for Sunday April 1. That's two weeks from tomorrow!

The time: 12:30 p.m. PDT and MST (for our Arizona contingent), 2:30 p.m. CDT (for our Texas representative), 12:20 a.m. Monday-or-whatever-the-f***-time-it-is in the Persian Gulf."

So there it is. Draft Day. April 1. April Fool's Day. Who knows what wonders lay beyond?

Whatever happens, it'll get live-blogged right here. The whole thing. Well, unless it's a wasp's nest. Then I'm out.

I'm allergic.

Potential Draft Day? Or April Fool's Day Prank?

So there was this e-mail, and now there's this rumor and let's just say they're contradictory.

First, the crucial details of a preliminary e-mail from The Commissioner:

"We're looking again at a daytime draft, which seemed to work best for the most people last year. For the sake of discussion, let's run this date up the flag pole and see who salutes:

Sunday, April 1, 12:30 p.m., at Gregg's house in Chino Hills. That's three days before the Wednesday opener."

Now, the rumor:

Sunday, April 1 will not be the date of the 2012 SBL Draft. Why? Priviledged few may know.

Could it be something rational, like a conficting work schedule? Hmm.

Or could it be something more sinister? Something from the crusty depths of a mind so demented, it would actually sense joy from interrupting an otherwise prolific Sunday afternoon?

Personally, I'd prefer a week night. Not that anyone gives a rip.

Merry Christmas!

(To be hummed to the tune of "Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer")

------

There were Bombers and Bammers and Godfathers and Pontiffs, Zero's and Inmates and Badgers and Whiteskins. But do you recall the most famous roto league of them all?

SBL, the chili-fueled nightmare.
It has so many know-it-alls.
And if you ever played in it,
you would even say it blows.

Most of the other players,
used to laugh have sports journalism jobs.
But now they have more free time,
to hack at this infuriating game.

Then one foggy Spring Training Eve,
the Moaners came to say:
"You all think you're so bright,
but I'm still gonna kick your ass tonight."

Now all of the other players
aside from those that've made a plea,
they'll never even get a sniff off
making SBL history!