Derek Rich, owner of Derelicts (or the Double D's), is on the prowl and looking for a trading partner.
His e-mail:
"Greetings, fellow owners ... With this conveniently-timed lull in our season, I'm taking this opportunity to put some of my beloved Derelicts on the trading block, in hopes of turning things around (a la 2008). What started as a promising draft and solid April (2nd place in Week 3) has been railroaded by a parade of injuries. DD starters McCann, Votto, Gordon, Lowell, Burrell, Bruce, Willingham and the lackluster Brandon Morrow have all spent time on the DL/inactive list; relievers Shields and Kuo have been absent most of the year. Very disappointing, to say the least. That being said, I am seeking a power upgrade in the OF, a solid closer, and -- possibly -- other bullpen help. I will entertain offers for the following minions (and combinations thereof):
C AJ Pierzynski
2B Clint Barmes
2B Dustin Pedroia
3B Ian Stewart
3B Mike Lowell
3B Alex Gordon
(**I will be forced to trade on my third basemen, once Gordon and
Lowell come off the DL, so a lesser 3B would be accepted)
OF Pat Burrell
OF Josh Willingham
SP Joba Cahmberlain
RP LaTroy Hawkins
However, I will consider other Derelicts as part of potential swap, if
the deal is deemed fair. Any trade would include future draft pick(s), depending on the package."
The Double D's (28-53) are currently 6th in National Division, 19 games back of the National Division-leading Cherry Valley Bombers.
Dear Smartass,
ReplyDeleteI didn't say WHOM I was willing to unconditionally part with, nor did I say that I would trade a chunk of my team away in one fell swoop. I'm merely willing to listen to offers, which would likely mean trading away one of my 2B and one of my 3B. The reasons are obvious: 3/4 of my original bullpen is gone and my outfield is now really devoid of power, due to Jay Bruce's injury.
It's not a performance issue, either. I've had injury after injury, namely the simultaneous loss of my starting corner infielders for a stretch, my starting catcher, my No. 3 outfielder, and the bullpen. I was 11-8 at the end of April. I have 17 victories in the subsequent 10 weeks. It's a tsunami of bad luck, clean and simple.
One more thing, he of no cell phone charger and drafting arrogance. The chump who "crafted my roster" last season was arguably responsible for my 29-46 mark after week 12. My DDs finished 87-75, thanks to supplemental upheaval. You need to be reminded that -- at season's end, the only starters leftover from your ghost draft were at my C, 2B and DH positions. None of my starting pitchers bore your fingerprints, and only one reliever was a late draft day pick.
Check yourself. And your unsportsmanlike pen.