PaulO's Notes: Week 21

A fairly wretched week for these three. The Z's had a tragic week from their bullpen, which surrendered more ER (12) in 6.2 IP than did their SPs (10) in 34 IP. An 0-5 record in the pen, with 22 BR. Delightfully awful, as Leonard Pinth-Garnell would have put it. The Z's managed a bit of offense, led by the resurgent Ryan Braun, who was 10-for-30 with 10 runs, 7 BI, 3 doubles, 1 triple, 2 homers, 6 steals and 4 walks. ... Team Bat-Face scrounged up a bit of offense despite the continued absence of top pick Hanley "Fourth-Rounder in 2012" Ramirez and 2B Brian Roberts, who missed all but the first month. Sketchy pitching, however, including four hit batsmen. Maybe the Barrister hurlers are going all Carlos Zambrano, out of frustration. ... The Holy See was practicing non-violence toward the baseball, putting up one of the feeblest offenses of the season. Didn't help that the club got to the dish 61 fewer times than the Zs because the club has no active 1B; sees its starting 3B losing ABs to Sean Burroughs and is missing No. 1 SS SDrrew and top OF CBeltran. One homer this week, on a Tuesday sub-in by Duda, 2 steals, 13 RBI. ... The Vatican's revolutionary no-save bullpen did what it does, and all this resulted in the waste of some typically solid starting pitching.

PaulO's Note: Week 17

Some notes (somebody must be on vacation) ... Some quirks from the puny pod. All three clubs round off to a 1.17 BR pitching stat. Odds of that must be long. To be exact: For the Jurists, 1.1679; for the Vatican, 1.1707; for the Z's, 1.1748. ... For the second week (not) running, the Holy See stole zero bags. Taking seriously that Seventh Commandment in papal lands. ... Z's offense fell of steeply from recent weeks, but rallied to get to mediocrity in the Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday "weekend" of the new and loathed sked. ... The revivied Bristow offense, led by Dustin Ackley (who knew?) is not awful, aside from the two dingers. Valencia has helped at 3B, too. ... Not that the D-Popes have had some bad luck, but they drafted this Presley guy (from Tupelo, Miss?) on Thursday and by the next day he was on the DL. Also, SDrew broke something or other (those Drew boys must not have gotten enough iron in their diets), reducing the club to Alcides Escobar at SS (who hits in the 9 hole for the Royals for a reason), but he is losing time to the backup DPope 3B, MAviles, who is just back from Triple A and sucks pretty hard, too. Also, Kirk Gibson down in AZ apparently thinks a 3B with pop like Ryan Roberts isn't something he really needs, and Roberts played only five games. Mauer went dead again, till Wednesday, when he hit his first homer of the season! And it took the SBL draft's No. 15 pick only till July 27 to get it! ...The Z's were helped by Eric Hosmer (6 runs, 8 BI, 13-for-29 with 1 walk, 4 doubles, 1 big fly and 1 steal) and by Li'l Dustin Pedroia (8 runs, 3 BI, 14-for-27, 2 walks, 2 doubles, 1 triple, 1 dinger, 2 bags). ... Oh, and the papacy got their first "save" since Week 12 (hmm, Jonathan PAPEL-bon?), which seems like a pretty low save total for a worldwide religious organization. Thanks, Mitchell Boggs, for showing up, three months later.

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This from a man recently recouping in the United States after time abroad. The SBL Blog thanks him for making time while he lounges somewhere in the LBC, drinking caffiene-free soda (during the day).

PaulO's Note: Week 1

That "splat" you heard was the Tiny Trio flopping out of the gate. The Z's had some memorably wretched pitching, including a K-ratio of 0.56, which has to be a franchise low. The Jurists put up a "what's-that-smell?" .292 OBP and seven TB (a problem for everyone in this pitiful pod), but salvaged things with five circuit clouts (a big number in this universe) and on the pitching side with five nice outings from the SPs. The Holy See, playing without on-the-DL starters KMorales, SDrew and GSizemore, was so puny in so many places that it contrived to lose to the Z's in what undoubtedly will be their only victory of the week. Really nice K-rat of 1.26, though, to keep the Vatican warm. On to Week 2. Can't get worse. Can it?

PaulO's Note: Week 5

Let's make this brief. Go right to what seemed to make the difference among the cellmates. The Z's: Five saves and a 1-0 record from the bullpen; Dotel and RSoriano 5IP, 0ER, 3BR, 9Ks and a 1-1 record. ... The Bat-faced Girls: King Felix, 3.1, 7ER, 9BR and an L and an 0-2 record. The Papacy: Mark Teixeira finally showing signs of waking, going 9-for-27 in the OBP world, with four runs, 8BI, a 2B and 3HR, as well as seven saves from three guys, Capps (!), Feliz and Lidge in a 2-0 week. ... If the Bitsy Threesome manages to beat any outsiders, it may come down to a big sub-in Thursday for all three at the catcher spot. Z's: (JBuck) 5223 with two taters; BFGs: (Barajas) 4223 with two taters; Papacy: (YMolina) 5143 with 2B and SB.

PaulO's Note: Week 4

"The defending-champ Zeroes showed they were ready to play -- three weeks after the season began -- by slugging 19 homers (a franchise high?) and plating 49 runners in a week of offense utterly outlandish by the puny standards of the first three weeks. This was how good it got: The Z's got a three-homer sub-in from John Buck. Yeah. And their pitching wasn't horrible for the first time this season, including a tidy 4-2 in W/L. The Z's really need a 6-0 week to get back into something vaguely approximating contention. ... Queer weeks for the cellmates here. The Bat-faced Girls had a decent week of offense but their pitching, which was steady-to-good for three weeks, went up in flames. (Maybe Joel Pineiro was available to the Angels for a reason.) Check that 8.83 ERA, just a couple of runs short of crossing 9.00, which Commissioner Davis could tell us (basically) never happens. And the 2.13 BR stat (crossing the 2.0 threshold; also quite unusual), the 0-4 and only two saves. BUT, there is that seeming anomaly of a glittering 1.08 K-rat. Long-time observers of the game have noted that pitchers being bombed often rack up a "good" K-rat. Something, perhaps, about throwing such fat pitches that they either get driven over a fence or missed entirely. Or facing so many batters that eventually the whiffs amass? Anyway, so what, you ask. Just this: That 1.08 K-rat is the one pitching stat the BFGs pluck from the Papists in their matchup. Which matters because the Girls take five offensive categories from the papacy, three by the tiniest of margins. That is to say, by one counting stat. The Girls had one more HR, one more RBI, and win OBP thanks to having one fewer PA (the teams tied in BR). In a 6-5 game. Game of millimetres (as we spell it over here) indeed."

PaulO's Note: Week 3

"Some genuinely shaky numbers here, but somebody has to win. And it is the Bat-faced Girls who, true to early form, are the (marginally) better team ... and the Zeroes who didn't do enough to take advantage of weaknesses by their cellmates. ... The BFGs beat The Champs (hah) 8-3, but the Girls' game with the Papists was a excruciatingly tight affair. The BFGs won 6.5-4.5, avoiding a tiebreaker on the basis of (pick one) one more out recorded/one fewer baserunner allowed, winning the pitching BR stat by .001 -- 1.296 to 1.297. ... The Girls perhaps deserved to win, having put up the one genuinely impressive number on offense from this trio, those 12 (!) steals (five by NCruz). ... The Vatican's game with the Z's was nearly as close, coming down to a handful of baserunners in the OBP stat, which the Papacy carries by .015 points in a 6-5 game. ... So, onward and downward; we make no claims that any of the Tiny Trio will do much outside of this sad little pod."

PaulO's Note: Week 1

If you've ever had PaulO keep your stats every week then you would have probably receved notes like this one, which I've been getting since I first joined the SBL. He's brutal but incisive, as usual. And when his teams are bad he's beyond self-depricating, he's self-destructive. Though there wasn't as much of that last season.

PaulO's note:

"Nice start by the Barristers. David's Bat-faced Girls scored more often than Tiger Woods in a singles bar, showed a little pop and walked like an Egyptian. Dennis had some moments, most of them sudden and big -- like 5 and 4 sub-in RBI days from Chris Young, as well as a sub-in granny from Yadier, giving him 13 unexpected RBI on his way to a big number there. But he is one homer and one steal shy of a tiebreaker with the Barrister. Game of inches, and all. ... Meanwhile, the defending champs fell on their faces, and the question already has been asked of the commish: Has anyone started 0-6 and won a pennant? OK, how about finishing with a winning record? Oh. I see. It's April 12 and already it's a long season for your favorite exile ..."