SBL Notebook, Week 10

The end of the first round of interleague play couldn't have come soon enough for the National division, which lost the cross-divisional battle for the fourth consecutive week, this time by the humbling count of 31-5. That brought the final four-week tally to American 95, National 49. This was, let's say, unexpected, and it's a little difficult to divine just what happened here. There had been no indication during the first six weeks that the results of the first IL period would be so one-sided; in fact the NL entered Week 7 with a slight advantage, having won 25 of the 48 interleague games contested to that point. But then several NL teams simultaneously commenced a May-June swoon that coincided with the start of interleague play, and the AL took advantage. The Derelicts (3-21 the last four weeks), the Whiteskins (4-20), the Godfathers (7 -17) and the Inmates (8-16) spent the interleague period spinning their wheels in the mud, and by the time it was over all four teams were well below .500 (ranging from eight games under to 26), with only the Cherry Valley Bombers and DamianUnited left standing and relatively unscathed at the top of the heap. Meanwhile, the entire AL prospered, with all six teams posting winning records over the four-week stretch, led by the Badgers (19-5), the Pumped-Up Pontiffs (17-7) and the Zero's (also 17-7). The result was virtually no movement in the AL standings -- the Z's, BTIB with a 42-20 record, are three, four and six games ahead of the three teams closest to them in the standings; four weeks ago those margins were three, four and five games -- but six owners who could feel a little better about themselves and their teams' prospects for having spent the last month inflating their records at the NL's expense. Five of the six AL teams are above .500 at the moment, and none among that quintet is further than nine games back in the standings. The NL race has devolved into a two-team affair, with the Bombers -- whose 2-4 ledger was the best the Nationals could muster this week -- four games up on DamU, while the third-place Inmates have dropped 12 games in arrears. . . . The Holy Crusaders continue to ravage the land with their mighty bats, which this week produced 15 HRs and 43 RBIs, both league highs. In the last three weeks, the pointy-hatted horde has swatted 42 home runs and driven in 119 runs. Good God, man!

Badgers Want To Ditch Mauer

From the office of A.B., owner of the Badgers:

"Last-minute mass email before today's draft...seeing if any fish are biting.

The Badgers have endured season-long injuries at first base (Berkman, Gamel, Hafner -- all casualties at Wounded Knee) and at catcher (Mauer currently day-to-day, Lucroy out).

With multiple needs to fill in this draft, I'd like to engage trade talk for your first baseman, catcher or draft pick.

Here's my roster for your consideration, academy members. Feel free to discuss among yourselves how the hell I am 12 games over .500:

C Mauer, Lucroy
1B Alonso, Hafner
2B Kipnis, AHill
SS Starlin, BCrawford
3B Hanley, PAlvarez
OF McCutchen, Gordon, Ibanez, Rasmus, Cespedes, Schafer

SP Kershaw, Bumgarner, Vogelsong, Moore, Lohse
RP Motte, Betancourt, Marshall, Walden

DL Berkman
Taxi: Mike Minor, Nicasio"

How the hell is he over .500? Your guess is as good as ours.

SBL Notebook, Week 7

The first week of the first month of pure interleague play this season went to the American division, 21-15. Nothing particularly unusual about that; the AL has been the dominant force in cross-divisional competition for at least the past decade, with the exception of last year when the National division turned the tables. What was unusual, just a little bit, was the identity of the team that did the heavy lifting for the AL with a scorched-earth 6-0 sunburst. The team in question are the Batfaced Girls, one of two AL franchises that have never appeared in the SBL postseason. The other of those longtime down-on-their-luck clubs, the Puny Pontiffs, had served notice the previous two weeks that it just might have the personnel to make a serious run at its first playoff berth, and this time it was the Batfaces’ turn in a no-doubt-about-it performance that featured one 11-0 whitewash, a 10.5-0.5 thumping, a 9.5-1.5 win and three 9-2 triumphs. Talk about dominant: the BFGs’ offense, heavily dependent on the Baltimore Orioles (of all teams) with Adam Jones, J.J. Hardy and Matt Wieters, and spiced up by MLB batting leader David Wright, led the SBL this week in RBIs (42), TB (42) and OBP (.396) and was second in runs (35) and third in HRs (10) and SBs (7). If that wasn’t enough, they also had perhaps the league’s best pitching, topping the week with a 2.06 ERA and posting the second-best BR stat (1.10) -- thank you, Roy Halladay, Ted Lilly, Colby Lewis and James McDonald. . . . The unbeaten week lifted the BFGs alongside the Pontiffs as legit factors in the AL race – the Girls now occupy third place at 24-20, a game ahead of the PPs (who backslid with a 2-4 ledger after going 11-2 in weeks 5-6), four behind the pacesetting Zero’s and one back of the Badgers, who went 5-1 and moved up to second. The bottom of the AL deck features the somewhat jarring sight of the Moaners and the Bammers, who between them claim a dozen SBL championships, holding down the next-to-last and last spots, respectively. . . . Nothing much happened in the NL race, where the top three teams – the Cherry Valley Bombers, DamianUnited and the Inmates – all went 4-2, leaving the top of the standings unchanged. The CVBs, however, did nose ahead of the Zero’s for Best Record In Ball, by one game, while maintaining their three-game edge in the division. Another mildly jarring sight – the Derelicts, a playoff team last year, continuing their residence in the NL basement, an 0-6 week dropping them to 15-29.

SBL Notebook, Week 5

You want pitchers? We got ‘em, right here in the National division. No belly itchers or glasses of water allowed on the premises . . . and no margin for error, either. It was pitch or perish this week in the NL, where no fewer than three teams checked in with sub-2.00 ERAs and sub-1.00 BR stats. DamianUnited’s ostensibly spiffy 2.72 ERA and 1.04 BR stat? Sorry, fellas, you’re losing those categories to half your division mates. The big winners for the week were the Derelicts, who combined lights-out mound work (1.97 ERA, league-leading .81 BR, 3-0 WL) with some very solid offense (league-best 41 RBIs and .375 OBP) to go 7-0 and escape the NL cellar, where the Godfathers tumbled back in despite their own perfectly satisfactory 5-2 week. Most disappointed losers of the week were the Whiteskins, whose sensational chucking (.92 BR, week’s-best 1.74 ERA) was compromised by across-the-board offensive puniness, causing the ‘Skins to go 2-5. The aforementioned DamU, meanwhile, did enough things well -- 11 HRs, 7 SBs, 7 saves, .95 K-rate, in addition to their ERA/BR numbers – to go 5-2 and move into first place in what is shaping up as a competitive, but fluid, NL race. DamU, 16-3 the last three weeks, are a game ahead of defending champs, the Cherry Valley Bombers, and two up on the up-and-down Inmates, who vacated the penthouse for the first time this year. . . . American division teams did not pitch nearly as well – three had ERAs of 4.25 or higher, including an unsightly 6.02 for the Badgers – and paid for it in the seven-game week’s 12 interleague contests, 10 of which the NL won. The runner-up Badgers’ horrific hurling resulted in an 0-7 crash, which enabled the Zero’s to quadruple their lead, from one game to four, despite a less-than-scintillating 3-4 performance. The Z’s also maintained the Best Record In Ball for a second successive week; they’re 22-10 to DamU’s 21-11. The Moaners, who also pitched piss-poorly, were unable to take full advantage of the Badgers’ pratfall, going 2-5 to remain in third place.

SBL Notebook, Week 3

There is no fear of intimacy in the Sun Baseball League, where every team is willing to get as close as is legally permitted, regardless of race, creed, gender, sexual orientation or religious affiliation. It’s hard to envision a week much closer, both in terms of game scores and statistical totals, than the one we just experienced. Twenty of 36 games were decided by scores of 6-5, 6.5-4.5 or tiebreaker; another eight were 7-4 verdicts. That leaves only eight outcomes that could be described as in any way one-sided. Things were especially tight in the American division, whose teams were involved in three of the week’s four tiebreakers, five 6-5 results and three 6.5-4.5 games. Nothing was more emblematic of the wild week than this cool/cruel fact: the Badgers went 6-0, the Bammers went 0-6 . . . and their game against each other went to a tiebreaker. Of course when you look at the numbers, it’s easy to see how the line between victory and defeat could be so razor thin. All six AL teams finished in the 30s in runs, the totals ranging from 31 to 36. Four AL teams had RBI totals ranging from 31 to 35 . . . four posted a cluster of BR stats ranging from 1.11 to 1.19 . . . and, good grief, five American teams put up ERAs in the 2s, with a preposterously minuscule range of 2.52 to 2.70. The Badgers and the Moaners both came in at 2.68, necessitating some overtime calculations to determine that the Badgers had won the stat 2.679 to 2.683, a key moment in their 7-4 win over the M’s. . . . The Badgers’ 6-0 week took them to 15-4 on the season, tied for the best record in ball, and two games better than AL runners-up Zero’s. But pity the poor Bammers, who, it’s fair to say, suffered a major injustice by going 0-6 in a week when they totaled 35 runs, 33 RBIs, 33 TB, a 2.57 ERA and 1.11 BR ratio. It just don’t seem right. . . . Over in the National division, the Inmates’ block-rockin’ start cooled considerably, a 2-4 week dropping them from 13-0 to 15-4 and into a first-place tie with the Whiteskins, who went 5-1. And DamianUnited had a week almost as weird as the Bammers’, but in a good way. DamU’s offense produced a puny four HRs, 17 BI, 20 TB and .302 OBP, yet the team still went 5-1 on the strength of a pitching week that might be as good as any we’ll see all season – 1.12 ERA, 0.72 BR (!), .95 K-rate, 4-0, 6 saves. And naturally, of those five wins, one was by tiebreaker, two were by 6-5 and a fourth was 6.5-4.5. It was the only way to fly this week. . . . One final note: A moment of silence, please, for the Godfathers, whose inexplicably awful start extended to 0-19 with a third straight winless week.

SBL Notebook, Week 2

It was another jailbreak week for the mighty Inmates, who have leaped out of their cage and fired a shot across the collective bow of the SBL with a scorching 13-0 start. Just eyeballing the ’Mates’ hitting numbers these first two weeks, you might think they’d been playing full seven-day schedules while the rest of the league was playing half-weeks. Led by fast-starting Matt Kemp, David Ortiz, Ian Kinsler, Corey Hart, Alex Avila and others too numerous to mention, the Inmates' ball-busters mashed 11 HRs this week – bringing their two-week total to an astonishing 23 – and accumulated 36 runs, 34 TB and 33 RBIs . . . all in 174 plate appearances, fewer than all but three other teams in a truncated five-day schedule. All that offense papered over some truly gruesome pitching – it’s hard to envision any SBL team this season throwing up an ERA as bad as the 8.01 the Inmates just left splattered on the dugout wall – and kept the Mental Defectives unbeaten, with a three-game lead on the Whiteskins. And, good grief, look down there at the poor Godfathers, winless and already 13 games out of first place in the National Division – after TWO WEEKS! Things are more competitive in the American Division, where the Badgers went 5-2 to supplant one-week wonders the Moaners at the top of the heap – but at a mere 9-4, one game better than quick-recovering Zero’s (who went 6-1) and two up on the Moaners, who experienced a 1-6 stumble after their 6-0 start. . . . Statistically, only the Z’s (33 BI, 30 runs, 7 HRs) and the Puny Pontiffs (8 HRs, 33 BI, 32 runs) were able to hang out anywhere near the Inmates’ high-rent neighborhood in a semi-short week when the league average for PAs was about 50 to 60 shy of what a typical SBL team would get in a typical SBL week.

SBL Notebook, Week 15

We’ve reached the All-Star break, a nice little three-day cooling-off period offering us the collective opportunity to catch our breath, or simply take one, as the case may be. Not that our pennant races show any signs of cooling, but they can stand to wait a few days too . . . we know they’ll still be there when we get back. What we’ll find when play resumes Thursday is a hot and heavy American division race, featuring the two best teams in ball at the moment, separated by only one game . . . and a National division chase with the second-, third-and fourth-place teams only two, four and seven games out of first, and even the fifth-place entry a manageable 10 games back. AL leaders the Zero’s continued their recent power surge with 13 homers (that makes 29 in the last two weeks), 41 runs and 35 RBIs, and rode that, plus some presentable pitching, to a 5-1 record. They were trumped, however, by the Bammers, who snapped out of their recent funk with a 6-0 week built on the sturdy foundation that has propped up the House of Bam all season—lights-out pitching, to the tune of a 6-0 WL and 1.67 ERA. The remarkable thing here is that those numbers really aren’t all that remarkable for the Bammers this year; they’ve actually had lower ERAs . . . several of them. Honest. So, the Z’s lead was shaved to one game over the BBs, then it’s another six back to the Moaners, and four more after that to the Badgers, who’ve been bitten by the same injury bug that afflicted the Godfathers earlier in the season. No sooner did the Badgers welcome back No. 1 overall draft pick Albert Pujols from his much-shorter-than-expected DL stint, then his second- and fourth-round picks, Alex Rodriguez and Jose Reyes, were shelved by disabling injuries . . . joining his third-rounder, Buster Posey, who’s out for the year. If it wasn’t for bad luck, Andy wouldn’t have any luck at all. . . . The Inmates maintained their grip on first place in the NL despite a second consecutive 2-4 week, as the teams below them continued to jockey for position. The Godfathers also went 2-4 to stay two games back, while the Derelicts rediscovered their prolific hitting to go 5-1 and jump into third place over DamianUnited, who suffered their second 0-6 boo-boo in the last three weeks. Meanwhile, the Cherry Valley Bombers continued their slow, steady recovery from a 1-12 start, going 4-2 (17 HRs and 40 helped a lot) to climb within a game of .500 – and within 10 of first place.

SBL Notebook, Week 12

DamianUnited and the Moaners, division champions last season but fourth-place also-rans and fifth wheels in the NL/AL chases for most of this one, have rather suddenly elbowed their way into contention in what is turning into a compelling pair of come-one, come-all divisional races. Employing diametrically opposite methods, DamU and the M’s both arrived at the same 7-0 Week 12 destination, leaving us with the following unusual but highly desirable situation: Eight quasi-contending teams (four in each division), all at least 11 games over .500, none more than six games out of first place. While the Damned United remain in fourth place -- despite going 13-0 the last two weeks, 18-1 the last three and 22-3 the last four -- they now are 44-31 and only four games behind the National division-leading the Inmates (seven games closer to the top than DamU was just three weeks earlier), and only one game back of the runners-up Godfathers and the Derelicts. The Moaners, who as recently as Week 8 were treading water at .500 (25-25) and trailed the American division-leading Bammers by 16 games, have ridden a 12-1 surge the last two weeks to gain a whopping nine games on the suddenly struggling Bams, who went 1-6 this week after last week’s 1-5 toe-stub. That has vaulted the M’s into a second-place tie with the Zero’s at 44-31, with the Badgers right on their heels at 43-32. And the Bammers’ once unassailable division lead, 11 games over the Z’s and Badgers after Week 10 and nine games over the same pair a week ago, is down to five over the M’s and Z’s. The Bam-Bams, an eye-popping 41-9 through eight weeks, are 8-17 since. . . . DamiamUnited, coming off last week’s franchise record-smashing offensive display (19 HRs, 62 RBIs), laid down the lumber and let the pitchers pick up the slack this week, to the tune of a 1.64 ERA, 1.07 BR stat and a stunning nine saves, also believed to be a franchise record. That, plus significant spikes in a couple hitting stats (46 TB, .369 OBP), led DamU on a largely unchallenged romp, with none of their seven wins closer than 7-4. . . . The Moaners went in another direction, relying on big offense, as in days of yore. In a week when the spectacular hitting numbers seen earlier this month went into full retreat for the rest of the league, the M’s posted league bests for the week in RBI (45), runs (40), HRs (11) and OBP (.398), plus 44 TB, second only to DamU’s 46. Those numbers weren’t just better than the competition’s, they were conspicuously better -- in those five stats the M’s beat the next-best team in their division by 17 RBIs, 19 TB, seven runs, four homers and .037 in OBP. And league-wide, no one (other than DamU in TB) really came close to them in any of those five stats, either. They stuck out like a sore thumb. How out of character was this? Last Wednesday, Moaners hitters bashed six homers and drove in 18 runs, exceeding in one night the team’s totals in those categories for the entirety of Week 10 (five and 16, respectively).

SBL Notebook, Week 11

It was another week, the third in a (hopefully) continuing series, when the SBL was converted into a MASH unit -- and no team induced pitching-staff triage quite like DamianUnited. The club that draws its name from the lowest-scoring sport on the planet produced some most un-soccer-like offense, highlighted by a preposterous 19 HRs and 62 RBIs, both all-time franchise highs and within hailing distance of the SBL records in those categories (believed to be 21 and 68 respectively; if anyone can confirm or disprove these figures, please notify the commissioner’s office). That, plus 42 runs, 33 TB and not-too-shabby pitching (3.19 ERA, 1.13 BR, 4-1 WL) carried DamU to its first 6-0 week this season, and lifted the National division’s fourth-place entry to within seven games of co-leaders the Inmates and the Derelicts. Just about everyone in DamU’s lineup contributed to the onslaught, but leading the way in this voyage of the Dam were 1B David Ortiz (four HRs, 13 BIs) and SS Troy Tulowitzki (2 HRs, 2 2Bs, 13 BIs). Their efforts were augmented by a dab of when-you’re-hot-you’re-hot sub-in luck: backup catcher Miguel Olivo produced a combined 3 HRs, 6 RBIs and 4 runs on two days when starter Miguel Montero happened to sit out. Something magical about catchers named Miguel, apparently. Every team that had the misfortune to encounter DamianUnited on the schedule ended up shaking his fist and shouting “Damn you, DamU!” Leading that chorus were the Moaners, who managed to take Da United to a tiebreaker in the teams’ interleague matchup but were blown away by what might have been the highest tiebreak number in SBL history -- a 212.1 figure fueled by those 19 HRs, which translated to 76 points in the top-secret tiebreaker formula. That loss was the only blemish in a 5-1 week that left the M’s two games out of second place in the American division, still shared by the Badgers and the Zero’s. Both of those teams went 3-3, failing to take full advantage of a rare 1-5 stumble by the pacesetting Bammers, who still enjoy a comfy nine-game lead. The NL race remains where the action is, with the Inmates going 5-1 to pull back into a tie with the Double-Ds (4-2) atop the heap, the Godfathers hanging tough at four games out and DamU now very much in the picture, too. The NL, still feeling frisky after its interleague triumph in weeks 7-10, won five of six cross-divisional tilts this week. And small wonder, when you look at some of the prodigious offense around the division, notably for the Derelicts (47 BI, 44 runs, 12 HRs) and the Inmates (39 runs, 13 HR, 42 TB). The Cherry Valley Bombers (44 runs, 33 TB, .362 OBP) and the Whiteskins (10 HR, 35 BI, 32 TB) also did their share of damage, but were undone by horrendous pitching (7.09 and 6.30 ERAs, respectively). . . . Congrats to the Batfaced Barristers, who posted their first winning record of the season (4-2), one of only two the AL could manage this week.

SBL Notebook, Week 10

Up was down and down was up in the final week of interleague play, though the end result was essentially the same as the previous week -- the National division pushing the American division right through the looking glass and down the rabbit hole. Following up on last week’s 24-12 shellacking of the junior circuit, the NL administered a 25-11 beat-down in Week 10. Boy, is the AL glad that’s over. And the cherry on top of the National sundae was a decisive 83-61 victory for this four-week interleague period -- the first such triumph for the senior circuit in, well, who knows how long . . . most of us old farts can’t remember back that far. The odd aspect of this week’s outcome was that the primary damage was done by the bottom half of the division. While the three leaders -- the Derelicts, the Inmates and the Godfathers -- each went 3-3, the fourth-place DamianUnited, the fifth-place Bombers and the cellar-dwelling Whiteskins combined to go 16-2, led by the 'Skins 6-0 rampage. The ’Skins blasted 11 HRs, drove in 48 runs (league best this season), scored 39, pilfered eight sacks and posted a 2.83 ERA and 6-2 WL, and how was anybody gonna beat that? If the ’Skins could just generate a little consistency, they might yet be a factor in the race. So far, though, they’ve been all over the map -- 6-0 this week, 4-2 last week, 6-0 in Week 1 . . . and 8-36 in the seven weeks in between. . . . While the NL race remained tight -- the Double-Ds remained one game ahead of the Mental Defectives and three up on the G-Daddies -- the AL race blew wide open again, with the Bammers going 5-1 and inflating their lead from six games to 11. Three AL teams went 0-6, and one of those was the mercurial Zero’s, alone in second after going 6-0 last week, but now tied there with the Badgers and staring at a double-digit deficit. (Also going 0-6 were the Batfaced Barristers and the Puny Pontiffs, two luckless franchises that, incredibly, have combined for only 21 wins -- fewer than any other single team.). . . . The offensive revival hinted at last week seemed to pick up steam this week -- the league averaged a respectable 8.75 HRs per team (five reached double figures, the most in a week all season), an impressive 34.9 RBIs (three teams in the 40s, also for the first time this year) and 32.4 runs. It was almost like a time warp had taken us back to 1999. And think what those averages would’ve been if the Moaners hadn’t dragged them down by contributing only five HRs, 16 RBIs and 30 runs to the aggregate!

Badgers Propose Trade

Crossing the SBL wire...

---

Hello SBL land,

I have a few injuries and could use an extra draft pick on Monday. Anyone short on starting pitchers?

With a slight tweak to the deal (maybe swapping Reid Brignac for your backup shortstop, who almost assuredly is better), I can offer you Zach Britton off my taxi squad for your draft pick. He is pitching well.

Thanks,

=badge=

---

Looks like the Badgers are going to push hard for a second consecutive playoff spot. Which team is looking for starting pitching and/or a slightly better backup SS? Anyone?

SBL Notebook, Week 9

As Clint Eastwood, portraying the cold-blooded killer William Munny, said in “Unforgiven” -- “We’ve all got it coming, kid.” And it’s safe to say the American division has had this coming for a while now. Long dominant in interleague play, the AL got a taste of its own medicine this week as the National division dished out a 24-12 whuppin’, giving the senior circuit a 58-50 overall edge with one week to go in this four-week cycle. Every NL team posted a winning record except the Inmates, whose 2-4 stumble cost them their grip on first place, now occupied by the Derelicts (4-2), though by only one game over the Mental Defectives and three over the Godfathers (5-1). On the other side of the standings, the Zero’s and the Moaners were the only teams to carry the AL banner high this week; while they were going a combined 12-2, the other four clubs were conspiring to go 2-22. The Zero’s’ 6-0 week, combined with twin 1-5s by the pace-setting Bammers and the (former) runners-up Badgers, catapulted the 2009 champions into second place, six back of the Bams and three up on the Badgers. The Z’s did it with some better-than-fair offense (10 HRs, 33 RBI, 9 SBs, .351 OBP) with a pitching week that can best be described as pristine -- a 1.37 ERA, a league-best this season, built on the back of a rotation that in five starts surrendered only 3 ER in 31.2 innings. . . . There was a noticeable uptick in offense this week, and we’re wondering whether there’s a correlation between that and an apparent decrease in strikeouts. Much has been made of the soaring strikeout rate among major league hitters the last two years, as the balance of power has shifted toward pitchers. But Week 9 in the SBL was the worst all season for K-rates, with no team getting to 1.00 (only the second time all season that’s happened), and seven checking in with rates of .80 or lower. Perhaps not coincidentally, increased contact translated into better hitting numbers. Still nothing like we saw in, say, the late ’90s, but a lot better than last week. The average HR total was 7, almost two more than in Week 8, and the average RBI count was 31, a damn sight better than last week’s 25. Leading the way were the revived Godfathers, who finally have their team back together with the return from the DL of sluggers Josh Hamilton, Evan Longoria and Aaron Hill, and this week put up some crooked numbers that reflected the infusion of hitting talent –- 39 RBIs, 38 runs and 38 TBs. Kudos, too, to the Derelicts for their 47 RBIs; it’s the first time all season any team has even gotten into the 40s in that stat, believe it or not. And condolences to the pitching staffs of the Bammers and the Puny Pontiffs, which seemed to absorb the lion’s share of the damage, combining to give up a staggering 73 earned runs, resulting in ERAs of 5.75 and 6.89, respectively.

SBL Notebook, Week 8

It’s still a little early to be worrying about this, but it really is getting kind of serious for the pursuers in the American division, where the Bammers and their untouchable pitching staff reeled off another 6-0 week to improve to 41-9 and increase their division lead to nine games over Andy’s Badgers and 11 over the defending champion Zero’s. It’s getting so it’s a surprise when the Bammers DON’T post an ERA under 2.50 and a BR stat under 1.00, and try as they might, the Badgers -- whose own pitching ain’t too shabby either -- haven’t been able to quite keep up. Things are much more competitive in the National division, where the Inmates’ lead was reduced to one game over the Derelicts, with the Godfathers five back. Seems like both division races have been reduced to three-team affairs, with the other six clubs at or below .500. . . . It was another week of itty-bitty offense -- the itty-bittiest yet, we’re thinking. And that’s not a complaint, just an observation. The average HR figure this week was a mere 5.4; the 65 total homers were only seven more than we had in Week 1, which was only three days-and-change long. In fact, the league high in stolen bases (9, by the Zero’s and G-Daddies) was greater than the league high in homers (8 by the Z’s), and the total SBs (53) weren’t too far off the HR total. The Badgers managed only 14 RBIs, and still went 4-2. The Godfathers had three homers, 11 RBI and a .297 OBP, and still went 3-3. The Bombers had four HRs, and went 5-1. Amazing. But this is the world we’re living in, people. Six SBL teams posted ERAs under 3.00 this week, and those teams went a combined 26-10. It’s the new world order -- pitching is (almost) everything. . . . BTW, the interleague skirmish this week ended in an 18-18 tie. Which is good, right? Nothing approaching the old blowout days when the AL dominated; after two weeks the tally reads AL 38, NL 34. It’s anybody’s ballgame!

SBL Notebook, Week 7

The first week of interleague play was . . . oh, let's say inconclusive. The commissioner's office was kinda sorta halfway semi-expecting the NL to gain the early upper hand in the lid-lifter to four weeks of cross-divisional squabbling, based on six weeks' worth of anecdotal evidence that suggested the senior circuit, after years of second-fiddle status, really did appear to be the stronger division this season, with more good teams than the AL, including two or three that look like legit contenders to win it all. But when the dust cleared in Week 7, it looked like something closer to business as usual, with the AL winning the week, 20-16. Although only two American teams posted winning records, those two, the Zero's and the Bammers, combined to go 11-1, more than offsetting the 9-15 mediocrity of the other four. Another factor that swung things the AL's way: its Bottom Two, the Batfaced Barristers and the Puny Pontiffs, who had combined for only 15 wins in the first six weeks, managed four victories between them this week, while one of the NL's more consistent clubs, DamianUnited, saw six weeks of mostly solid results unravel in an uncharacteristic 0-6 crash that pushed them below .500 for the first time. . . . The mercurial Zero's -- 13-0 in Weeks 4-5, followed by an 0-6 Week 6 -- reverted to take-no-prisoners mode this week, and the turnaround could essentially be summed up in three words: Jose F***ing Bautista. The late-blooming Toronto slugger, who led the majors by a mile with 54 homers last year in helping the Moaners cop the SBL crown, was conspicuously absent during the Z's winless Week 6 due to some sort of neck issue that sidelined him for all but one game. But he was back with a vengeance this week -- six homers, nine RBIs, eight runs and a .516 OBP (11 hits, five walks in 31 PAs) -- and not coincidentally so were the Z's. Think one measly player can't make a major difference for an SBL team? Try to imagine where the Zero's might be without Bautista, who, by himself, beat or tied five entire SBL teams in the HR category this week. Actually, you don't have to imagine it -- just take a look at those Week 6 results. . . . The Bammers were a bit off their game, particularly on the pitching side (4.12 ERA, 1.55 BR) -- but, typical of good, well-rounded SBL teams, they proved tough to beat, finding enough ways to win to go 5-1, improve the Best Record In Ball to 35-9 and stretch their AL lead to seven games over the Badgers, who continue to tread water (10-9 the last three weeks) while dropping further behind. . . . Another balanced, weakness-free aggregation, the Inmates, also introduced some distance between themselves and their many pursuers, with the Derelicts, the Godfathers and DamU combining to go 5-13 while the Mental Defectives were going 5-1, including the NL's only win over the Bammers. That opened things up a bit in a division where the top three teams had been separated by only two games; the 'Mates now lead the Double-Ds by three, the G-Daddies by five and DamU by 11.

Sun-sational Six (Week 6)

So maybe it wasn't such a good idea to diss the Bammers. It's been nary impossible to predict the twists and turns during this year's campaign, but one thing seems like a surety -- the Bammers are the team to beat. Now, the SS-list knows it (until next week).

1. Bammers (Last week: 2): Take away Bammers' frontline pitching with Hamels, Haren, Hernandez, Garcia and Masterson, maybe then, it would be a fair fight with the rest of the league. But the Bammers are bringing it every week from 60-6, and that's why they are No. 1 again after a short-sighted effort from the SS-list. Not that there needs to be an apology for imperfection.

2. Inmates (Last week: 3): No old jokes this week, especially after the Pattons continue to kick a little Cherry Bomber ass week after friggin' week. OK, we get it old-timer. You got game. After beating up on the weaker division, we'll see how you do against the real division for the next four weeks. Now, let's see what you got, ol' bitch.

3. Badgers (Last week: 1): Not that the SS-list ever overreacts, but the Fruitopias probably aren't a No. 3 team. Sure, the SS-list went out on a limb last week and gave the Badgers some premature props. It's not like we would hold it against the Badges after going a so-so 3-3, but remember Badge: It's not nice to mess with SS-list.

4. Derelicts (Last week: 6): The list is thinking about changing the team's nicknames to the yo-yos, since they've been up-and-down more than a Cinemax late-night feature. Hey-yo, D-rich. Hate to think of where you might be heading next week, but just to be safe, you might want to get a shot for that.

5. Godfathers (Last week: 5): While the list has been fairly inconsistent about nearly everyone else, the Vicsters have held serve of late. Can't believe we're using tennis analogies, and we haven't even made it to the French Open yet, but the list can't be limited by mere sports calendars. Fight on, Nadal-lovers.

6. Moaners (Last week: not ranked): Can't remember if this was the team that was here last week or the Zeros, but they seem to be just about the same, you know, except for one playing its home games halfway around the world. Oh well. Can't win 'em all, except maybe this week when it's against those patsie Nationals.

Sun-sational Six (Week 5)

There's a new sheriff in town, and surprisingly enough it has nothing to do with the Inmates. The Badgers, fresh off a 4-3 week and still trailing the Bammers in their division race by a couple games, look to be the new team to beat. That's our story, and we'll stick to it as long as Andy doesn't pull an 0-6 answer to their new seeding.

1. Badgers (Last week: 2): This group has been slowly closing the gap on the Bammers. Kind of looks like they have to momentum to finally slingshot into the lead this week, at least that's what our psychic tells us. Might have something to do with the Cards, especially that Pujols joker.

2. Bammers (Last week: 1): OK, so technically the BGoffs are still the best team in ball and had a nice three week run at the top spot. Hey, even the Lakers used to be good. In our what-have-you-done-for-me-lately world, the Bammers get no instant gratification from the SS-list.

3. Inmates (Last week: 3): Here's another club that hasn't been getting its just desserts. Like a stealth geriatric in a wheelchair, the Pattons have glided to the front of the pack among the Nationals. Not sure whether this team should be dropped over the Middle East or even Pakistan, but we seem to be droning on.

4. Zeroes (Last week: unranked): Had a feeling we might be seeing the mighty O's again, and they didn't disappoint in one of the most dominant weeks in the SBL so far this season. These wily Abu Dubai-ies are a finicky bunch, though. Don't mess with the mighty SS-list, oh fickle foreigner.

5. Godfathers (Last week: 6): Another old fart on the rise. We won't be trite enough to say that the Godfather hurlers throw gas or maybe we just don't have the intestinal fortitude to stomach that analogy. Whatever, the Godfathers have withstood some wicked shots to the gut with early season injuries, and now everyone is coming out smelling of roses. Yum.

6. Derelicts (Last week: 3). Not sure that a 3-4 week should drop the Northwesterners down this low, but life can be cruel, eh, Derek? Doesn't take much to convince the SS-list that this team is better than this, but convince us nonetheless.

SBL Notebook, Week 5

One of our veteran owners (who shall remain nameless, but whose initials are P.O., and who lives in Abu freakin’ Dhabi), dredged up a couple of interesting stats the other day—the cumulative MLB batting average for April was only .250, the OBP a meager .319. Which seems like a reasonable jumping-off point for our annual at-around-this-time-of-year musing about the continued shrinkage of offense in the majors. It’s certainly being felt in the SBL, which after a hot (three-day) start in Week 1 has witnessed steady downward pressure on hitting numbers. The league averages this week: 7.6 HRs, 28.6 RBIs, 28.5 runs, 25.6 TB (the latter skewed by two teams that combined for 81 TB; take them out of the mix and the other 10 teams averaged 22.7). Plus, there were only two OBPs above the .340. threshold. And, oddly enough, there was some pretty terrible pitching going around this week, with five SBL ERAs above 4.5, four of those above 5.40--including one hideous 6.69. Apparently those SBL pitchers didn’t get to face enough SBL hitters. . . . For years now, it hasn’t been unusual to see these kind of pedestrian numbers on offense for a week or two in April, but now it seems like we see them all month, and it bleeds over into May and when will it ever stop and are we going to HAVE TO ENDURE THIS TRAVESTY ALL SEASON???!! . . . OK, take a breath . . . and we now return you to our regular SBL programming. Quite suddenly, we have the makings of actual competition in the American division. For the first three weeks, the Bammers were well-nigh unbeatable, starting 18-1 and conjuring memories (fears?) of 2006, when the Bams started 19-0 and 37-1, were 77-10 at the All-Star break and generally made a mockery of the AL race, coasting to the pennant by 19 games before winning the SBL Series 17-9. But the last two weeks they’ve come back to the pack a bit, and their hard-luck 2-5 performance this week left them only two games ahead of the rock-steady Badgers, who have posted five straight winning weeks en route to a 22-10 record. Oh, and a third team has entered the picture -- the Zero’s, 7-0 this week, 13-0 the last two weeks and only four games out despite their unsightly 7-12 start. (As an example of how little offense it takes to win these days, the Z’s went unbeaten and almost unchallenged with 28 runs, 22 TB, 32 RBI and a .336 OBP -- though nine saves, a 1.07 BR stat, 4-1 WL and 3.04 ERA certainly didn’t hurt their cause.) And, even the struggling defending champion Moaners dragged their sorry butts back to .500 with a 6-1 effort, their first winning week since W 1. . . . The frenzied scramble in the National division showed no signs of abating, with three teams now tied for the top spot and a fourth, DamianUnited, only two games back. Special citation to the Godfathers, who continue to weather an injury wave that claimed top picks Evan Longoria and Josh Hamilton and slugging 2B Aaron Hill among others. After a 6-1 week, the G-Daddies share first place with the Inmates and the Derelicts, and a couple of their missing stars are due back any day now. . . . Kudos, too, to the Whiteskins, who just last week inserted the Rays’ Ben Zobrist into their starting outfield, then sat back and watched him produce one of the greatest single-player boxscore bonanzas in SBL history -- 7 for 10, 5 runs, 10 RBIs, 2 homers, 3 doubles and a stolen base in a Thursday double dip against the Twins. Hope you enjoyed that; miracle stat lines like that are why we play this game, and are also as rare as dodo birds. BTW, the Z-propelled ’Skins went 5-2, arresting a 1-18 slide the previous three weeks.

Sun-sational Six (Week 4)

Yawn. Not much to report in Week 4, which is to say that nothing has changed from Week 3. While the powers-that-be were hardly overwhelming, there's plenty of scrubs having a tough time challenging now that we're through the first month of action. Here's the same ol', same ol'.

1. Bammers (Last week's rank: 1): Kind of looks like the Goffs have the corner on this market. While his offense has cooled in the past couple weeks, the Bammers can bring it from the hill with a bunch of H-hurlers: Hernandez, Hamels, Haren, Harcia and Har-har-har. Hut-ever.

2. Badgers (Last week's rank: 2): While the Badge hates playing second fiddle, well, it's not like he's going to be named conductor anytime soon to change the seating arrangement. He just have to face the music for awhile or use all these cliches to sing a different tune. Blech.

3. Derelicts (Last week's rank: 3): DRich was so overwhelmed at getting onto the SS-list last week that he called from Seattle to genuflect. Brown-nosing keeps you high on the list, and yes, blubbering is good to get you in the top 3. Wah.

4. Inmates (Last week's rank: 4): The Pattons did make a little move last week, tying the Derelicts for the top spot in the division. But it was a small move, and it's not as if anyone is going to win this division anytime soon. Settle down, old-timer.

5. Damian U (Last week's rank: 5): No doubt D-dog would trade a couple of his wins for a couple weeks more from his precious Lakers, but this isn't "Deal or No Deal." Concentrate DU before you let this team go stale.

6. Godfathers (Last week's rank: 6): The Vicsters probably are a shade better than the No. 5 team, but it's so difficult to cut and paste to move one team ahead of another, especially when their tied. Show us one more time, Uncle Vic. We want to believe.

SBL Notebook, Week 4

That most egalitarian of divisions, the National, welcomed yet another new face at the top of its leaderboard, making it four different NL No. 1s in four weeks. Week 1 was the Whiteskins’ moment in the sun, to be followed by DamianUnited (Week 2 numero uno), the Derelicts (Week 3 head honchos) and, this week, the Inmates, sharing the catbird seat with the Double-Ds, but listed first because they had a better week (5-1 to Derek’s 4-2). This actually is the Mental Defectives’ second appearance in first place; they shared it with DamU in Week 2, with Damian listed first because of his superior 6-1 performance that week. The ’Mates’ owner has lamented the slow starts by a couple of key early draft picks, Carlos Gonzalez and Shin-Soo Choo, but the team has hummed along anyway, yet to put up a losing week -- thanks in part to a spectacular start by Matt Kemp, solid work by a semi-anonymous rotation (Michael Pineda? Tim Stauffer?) and a productive bullpen, always an Inmates staple. The only NL teams that haven’t sniffed the heady air of first place are the Godfathers and the Cherry Valley Bombers -- and the G-Daddies have been close, within one game of the top a week ago and three back now. If their injury luck ever turns around, they just might earn their own turn at the top. This week, though, they lost another key player, 2B Aaron Hill, who joined first- and second-round picks Evan Longoria and Josh Hamilton on the DL. . . . Meanwhile, what happened to the Whiteskins? After a scorching 6-0 start, they’ve gone 1-18 to plummet into a last-place tie with the Bombers. . . . The top of the American division treaded water, with the Bammers (now 21-3) and the Badgers (18-7) each going 4-2 to remain the top two teams in ball. There was a rumbling among the AL also-rans, though, as Paulo’s Zero’s rose up to go 6-0 and get their noses above .500 (at 13-12) for the first time this season. Their end-of-first-round double picks, Jose Bautista and Ryan Braun, propelled the Z’s to league highs in runs (40), HRs (13) and OBP (.377), in what was otherwise another tepid hitting weak. Meanwhile, the bottom three in the stratified division have dropped almost out of sight, already 12, 16 and 17 games, respectively, behind the Bammers. Is it possible to be out of a baseball divisional race after only four weeks? Maybe not, technically, but hope is hard to come by just now for the AL’s poor and huddled masses.

Sun-sational Six (Week 3)

Can't remember if it was Carl Sagan or Ray Kroc, but one of those guys had some kind of saying about billions and billions. That would seemed to be the odds of some owner -- say like a guy living in the Northwest who follows the Mariners and Seahawks -- of ever cracking the SS list. Hard to believe, but it's finally happened in this week's Sun-sational list. Here they are -- late, but not absent.

1. Bammers (Last week ranking: 1): OK, Good Goff. We believe. He suffered the indignity of his first loss last week, but 18 out of 19 ain't bad, chief. This team has a lethal combination of offense and pitching. The American race might be over by the All-Star Game, especially if the No. 2 guy keeps pace with the Bammers.

2. Badgers (Last week ranking: 2): Clearly the Bay City Rollers look like the only thing standing between BGoff and a divisional title. Yeah, you win a lot of these things in April, huh Badge. Anyway, the Badgers have been worthy of their No. 1 selection status since the draft, going a perfect 6-0 to close the gap -- gasp! -- on the Bammers. As Kobe Bryant would say, oh, never mind.

3. Derelicts (Last week ranking: none): At the sake of losing all credibility with this list, we bring you the Derelicts. Apparently, no one told the bottom-feeders they were supposed to stay in the cellar. Hey, DRich, it's better than coming out of the closet. The SS-list begrudgingly thinks this team just might do some damage. Just hope it's not self-inflicted.

4. Inmates (Last week ranking: 5): Representing the Old Guard, this criminally insane group brings a little normalcy to the proceedings. OK, so 3-3 last week is nothing special, but the Inmates know a thing or two about surviving the marathon season. Like a Kenyan flying home from Heartbreak Hill, Patton just may have a frontrunner here, folks.

5. Damian-U (Last week ranking: 3): D-dog is starting to go a little Tressel on us -- not sure we're believing what we're seeing, but we think it may involve some tats. Anyway, the gamers need to start producing, instead of these 2-4 weeks, but have a feeling that there just may be some jostling in the ol' National Div over the course of the season. Hang tough, DU.

6. Godfathers (Last week ranking: none): There's probably too much love here for the Nationals, but it's tough to ignore a guy's second-place team, even if it's coming from Belo in Dallas. Now, if it was Bevo ... whatever. Got to give some cred to the Michaelangelo of the SBL. We don't have a chapel worth painting on the SS-list, but a statue or two outside the ballpark would be real classy. Get to chisseling, WicVest.