Sun-sational Six (Week 14)

Now on the downside of the SBL season, it looks like anyone's game unless you're a judge or a pontiff. But clearly the high-and-mighty are the old, old guard, especially as it relates to the SS-list. Here's the Sun-Sational for this week:

1. Zeroes (last week's ranking: 2): We don't like to brag, but early on in this game, the list touted Paulo's squad because of its balance between offense and pitching. While the Zeroes' offense has been Abu Dubai hot of late, the pitching still looks fierce, making the Zeroes the team to beat during the second half. Praise Allah.

2. Bammers (last week's ranking: 4): The list has been pretty tough on the BGoffs' proclivity for Pirates and Nationals, but there's no disputing the dominant pitching he has enjoyed all season. The Bammers may have to change their nickname to reflect the best rotation in ball -- we're thinking the Slingers. No matter what you call 'em, they can hurl.

3. Inmates (last week's ranking: 1): We're thinking the GrandPattons have just hit a little midseason swoon, but for an old guy, there's no doubt this squad has something left in the tank. He'll need it as every team in the Nationals is a threat in the second half, but there's no reason for the Inmates to get nervous -- yet.

4. Godfathers (last week's ranking: 3): The swooning seems to be a little contagious at the top of the National Division, but again, this team looks like it's built for the long haul. No worries, Vic. Pay no attention to those Derelicts or Damians growing closer in your rearview mirror. Keep those eyes on the road, grandpa.

5. Moaners (last week's ranking: 6): We can do all the moaning for Mikee's boys in their uphill battle to catch the Slingers and Zeroes. Certainly, it won't be easy to become a playoff team in this division, but we've seen the magic of the Moaners in the past. Sounds like a bad Cinemax late-nighter for sure. Stay tuned.

6. Derelicts (last week's ranking: 5): Definitely has some momentum going into the second half to become a playoff contender. The Way-Up-There-Northerners have tons of talent at the dish and off the rubber. They have 12 more weeks to put it all together against some very experienced frontrunners.

Sun-sational Six (Week 13)

When we last left you in Week Whatever, the coronation of the BGoffs was pretty much a certainty, and everyone else was pretty well playing for second place.

How times change when the S-list goes away for months at a time. Surprise, surprise.

Without further do-do, here's this week's top half-dozen:

1. Patton Inmates (Last ranking: partly crabby): Hate to go with the easy simile, but the Inmates have simply gone crazy since the last update. Their record is something like something good and something pretty small. I know, impressive. Got to give the PI's credit for pitching and hitting, but not so much defense. The details are in the stats, people.

2. Zeroes (Last ranking: fairly foreign): Told you guys this team would be pretty good, which was after it had faltered, gotten good, did OK and then did just all right. Paulo's squad looks primed to knock off the BGoffs from their top perch in Week 14, but we don't want to get ahead of ourselves. We'll just revel in the Zeroe's greatness for the time being.

3. Godfathers (Last ranking: Texan through and through): Still not sure how the G-daddies do it, but they are just damn good week after week. Not sure they will have enough names to overtake the Inmates in the second half, but the G-papas sure have the look of a playoff team, unless the Pontiffs give the Derelicts more great players for nothing.

4. BGoffs (Last ranking: Perfectly Pittsburgh-ian): Somebody forgot to tell Brian this sport has nothing to do with the Steelers, but he's done pretty well for himself having two Pittsburgh players in his lineup all season. Actually, the impressive part of the Bammers have been their pitchers, and that might just carry them to a playoff spot in the second half.

5. Derelicts (Last ranking: Northern lit): We raise our Bics to the Derelicts, who not only are in the mix for a playoff spot in the best division in baseball (hey, one-out-of-two ain't bad), but also have shored up a pretty stout club with some incredible trades. Now, if we could just get him to quit cheering for those loser Mariners. Oh well.

6. Moaners (Last ranking: Positively moan-a-rific): No doubt this distresses, Mikee, getting named to the best of the best. "But I'm sneaking up on everyone and working my way to the top of the division," Mike moans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We see you comin', Commish, and you're right. It ain't pretty. Thanks for the visual.

Sun-sational Six (Week 6)

So maybe it wasn't such a good idea to diss the Bammers. It's been nary impossible to predict the twists and turns during this year's campaign, but one thing seems like a surety -- the Bammers are the team to beat. Now, the SS-list knows it (until next week).

1. Bammers (Last week: 2): Take away Bammers' frontline pitching with Hamels, Haren, Hernandez, Garcia and Masterson, maybe then, it would be a fair fight with the rest of the league. But the Bammers are bringing it every week from 60-6, and that's why they are No. 1 again after a short-sighted effort from the SS-list. Not that there needs to be an apology for imperfection.

2. Inmates (Last week: 3): No old jokes this week, especially after the Pattons continue to kick a little Cherry Bomber ass week after friggin' week. OK, we get it old-timer. You got game. After beating up on the weaker division, we'll see how you do against the real division for the next four weeks. Now, let's see what you got, ol' bitch.

3. Badgers (Last week: 1): Not that the SS-list ever overreacts, but the Fruitopias probably aren't a No. 3 team. Sure, the SS-list went out on a limb last week and gave the Badgers some premature props. It's not like we would hold it against the Badges after going a so-so 3-3, but remember Badge: It's not nice to mess with SS-list.

4. Derelicts (Last week: 6): The list is thinking about changing the team's nicknames to the yo-yos, since they've been up-and-down more than a Cinemax late-night feature. Hey-yo, D-rich. Hate to think of where you might be heading next week, but just to be safe, you might want to get a shot for that.

5. Godfathers (Last week: 5): While the list has been fairly inconsistent about nearly everyone else, the Vicsters have held serve of late. Can't believe we're using tennis analogies, and we haven't even made it to the French Open yet, but the list can't be limited by mere sports calendars. Fight on, Nadal-lovers.

6. Moaners (Last week: not ranked): Can't remember if this was the team that was here last week or the Zeros, but they seem to be just about the same, you know, except for one playing its home games halfway around the world. Oh well. Can't win 'em all, except maybe this week when it's against those patsie Nationals.

Sun-sational Six (Week 5)

There's a new sheriff in town, and surprisingly enough it has nothing to do with the Inmates. The Badgers, fresh off a 4-3 week and still trailing the Bammers in their division race by a couple games, look to be the new team to beat. That's our story, and we'll stick to it as long as Andy doesn't pull an 0-6 answer to their new seeding.

1. Badgers (Last week: 2): This group has been slowly closing the gap on the Bammers. Kind of looks like they have to momentum to finally slingshot into the lead this week, at least that's what our psychic tells us. Might have something to do with the Cards, especially that Pujols joker.

2. Bammers (Last week: 1): OK, so technically the BGoffs are still the best team in ball and had a nice three week run at the top spot. Hey, even the Lakers used to be good. In our what-have-you-done-for-me-lately world, the Bammers get no instant gratification from the SS-list.

3. Inmates (Last week: 3): Here's another club that hasn't been getting its just desserts. Like a stealth geriatric in a wheelchair, the Pattons have glided to the front of the pack among the Nationals. Not sure whether this team should be dropped over the Middle East or even Pakistan, but we seem to be droning on.

4. Zeroes (Last week: unranked): Had a feeling we might be seeing the mighty O's again, and they didn't disappoint in one of the most dominant weeks in the SBL so far this season. These wily Abu Dubai-ies are a finicky bunch, though. Don't mess with the mighty SS-list, oh fickle foreigner.

5. Godfathers (Last week: 6): Another old fart on the rise. We won't be trite enough to say that the Godfather hurlers throw gas or maybe we just don't have the intestinal fortitude to stomach that analogy. Whatever, the Godfathers have withstood some wicked shots to the gut with early season injuries, and now everyone is coming out smelling of roses. Yum.

6. Derelicts (Last week: 3). Not sure that a 3-4 week should drop the Northwesterners down this low, but life can be cruel, eh, Derek? Doesn't take much to convince the SS-list that this team is better than this, but convince us nonetheless.

Sun-sational Six (Week 4)

Yawn. Not much to report in Week 4, which is to say that nothing has changed from Week 3. While the powers-that-be were hardly overwhelming, there's plenty of scrubs having a tough time challenging now that we're through the first month of action. Here's the same ol', same ol'.

1. Bammers (Last week's rank: 1): Kind of looks like the Goffs have the corner on this market. While his offense has cooled in the past couple weeks, the Bammers can bring it from the hill with a bunch of H-hurlers: Hernandez, Hamels, Haren, Harcia and Har-har-har. Hut-ever.

2. Badgers (Last week's rank: 2): While the Badge hates playing second fiddle, well, it's not like he's going to be named conductor anytime soon to change the seating arrangement. He just have to face the music for awhile or use all these cliches to sing a different tune. Blech.

3. Derelicts (Last week's rank: 3): DRich was so overwhelmed at getting onto the SS-list last week that he called from Seattle to genuflect. Brown-nosing keeps you high on the list, and yes, blubbering is good to get you in the top 3. Wah.

4. Inmates (Last week's rank: 4): The Pattons did make a little move last week, tying the Derelicts for the top spot in the division. But it was a small move, and it's not as if anyone is going to win this division anytime soon. Settle down, old-timer.

5. Damian U (Last week's rank: 5): No doubt D-dog would trade a couple of his wins for a couple weeks more from his precious Lakers, but this isn't "Deal or No Deal." Concentrate DU before you let this team go stale.

6. Godfathers (Last week's rank: 6): The Vicsters probably are a shade better than the No. 5 team, but it's so difficult to cut and paste to move one team ahead of another, especially when their tied. Show us one more time, Uncle Vic. We want to believe.

Sun-sational Six (Week 3)

Can't remember if it was Carl Sagan or Ray Kroc, but one of those guys had some kind of saying about billions and billions. That would seemed to be the odds of some owner -- say like a guy living in the Northwest who follows the Mariners and Seahawks -- of ever cracking the SS list. Hard to believe, but it's finally happened in this week's Sun-sational list. Here they are -- late, but not absent.

1. Bammers (Last week ranking: 1): OK, Good Goff. We believe. He suffered the indignity of his first loss last week, but 18 out of 19 ain't bad, chief. This team has a lethal combination of offense and pitching. The American race might be over by the All-Star Game, especially if the No. 2 guy keeps pace with the Bammers.

2. Badgers (Last week ranking: 2): Clearly the Bay City Rollers look like the only thing standing between BGoff and a divisional title. Yeah, you win a lot of these things in April, huh Badge. Anyway, the Badgers have been worthy of their No. 1 selection status since the draft, going a perfect 6-0 to close the gap -- gasp! -- on the Bammers. As Kobe Bryant would say, oh, never mind.

3. Derelicts (Last week ranking: none): At the sake of losing all credibility with this list, we bring you the Derelicts. Apparently, no one told the bottom-feeders they were supposed to stay in the cellar. Hey, DRich, it's better than coming out of the closet. The SS-list begrudgingly thinks this team just might do some damage. Just hope it's not self-inflicted.

4. Inmates (Last week ranking: 5): Representing the Old Guard, this criminally insane group brings a little normalcy to the proceedings. OK, so 3-3 last week is nothing special, but the Inmates know a thing or two about surviving the marathon season. Like a Kenyan flying home from Heartbreak Hill, Patton just may have a frontrunner here, folks.

5. Damian-U (Last week ranking: 3): D-dog is starting to go a little Tressel on us -- not sure we're believing what we're seeing, but we think it may involve some tats. Anyway, the gamers need to start producing, instead of these 2-4 weeks, but have a feeling that there just may be some jostling in the ol' National Div over the course of the season. Hang tough, DU.

6. Godfathers (Last week ranking: none): There's probably too much love here for the Nationals, but it's tough to ignore a guy's second-place team, even if it's coming from Belo in Dallas. Now, if it was Bevo ... whatever. Got to give some cred to the Michaelangelo of the SBL. We don't have a chapel worth painting on the SS-list, but a statue or two outside the ballpark would be real classy. Get to chisseling, WicVest.

Sun-sational Six (Week 2 Edition)

Starting to shape up as another season of the haves and the have-nots, as the traditional powers in the Big Boy Division are starting to assert themselves. The Have-nots Division is starting to look like a D-dog, Inmate and Godfather kind of season. Here's how SS stack up so far:

1. Bammers (Last week: 3): You go undefeated, the SS-list gives you love. Kind of hard not to notice a 13-0 start with incredible pitching and hitting. We're still not sold that Stubbs and Walker are the next coming of Ruth and Gehrig, but they sure look kick-ass for April. SS loves the Bammer's rotation and bullpen -- and he even has a White Sox reliever!

2. Badgers (Last week: 2): We're still waiting to Pujols to show up and then we'll see if the Badges can rise to the pinnacle of the SS. There were news story out of the Bay Area that Badge had a book signing this past week. The list isn't happy that it didn't get an invitation. Might be why Badge hasn't shown up on the NY Times Bestselller List. Shame, shame.

3. D-United (Last week: 4): The Gamers are looking solid on offense and the mound. Definitely the team to beat in the Lesser Division. D-dog probably will have to assert his alpha-ness against the Inmates and Godfathers, but the SS is pretty confident this is going to be a playoff team that will challenge for its first Sun title. Whoopee.

4. Moaners (Last week: 1): Still not panicking because the Yankees-light had a bad outing last week, but this team may have to draft a Bautista or two this year to get really serious with the Big Boy Division. We're pretty confident that will happen over the next couple supplemental drafts. Please school us, Commish. We're watching.

5. Inmates (Last week: not ranked): Yes, old dogs can learn new tricks. The SS was distressed to find out at the draft that Gregg was being taken off the market by Shelly. Still waiting for our invitation to the nuptials, but we digress. Pattons traditionally are a power in the SBL, and this looks like one of his typical power teams. Probably in the SS for the duration.

6. Zeroes (Last week: 6): Kind of threatened this club last week, and it didn't disappoint. This definitely looks like a team that will contend for the playoffs, but there's going to be competition. We like the Zeroes' chances.

Sun-sational Six (Week 1 Edition)

Like the catcher who hits .500 the first week with three of his four HR he's going to hit for the season, the Sun-sational Six isn't fooled by fast starts. Impressed as hell, but fools? Nah.

Here's the SS-hit list after Week 1.

1. Moaners (Last week's ranking: 1): Get your blemishes while you can on the Moaners. Oh my god, the Moaners dropped two games in the first week. The world is coming to an end. Riggggghhhhht. We'll buy that right after we see it for another 25 weeks.

2. Badgers (Last week's ranking: 4): Any team with Albert Pujols batting a buck-something and still wins four games deserves a little respect. Since it's Andy, we hedge a bit. Still, there's no shortage of first-pick talent on this team, and over the long haul (as long as the Badges don't panic and sell Pujols low for say Manny PED-mirez), this group is going to contend.

3. Bammers (Last week's ranking: None): Probably dropped the ball on not including the Bammers on the preseason list. What? You thought this was science? Anyway, we're not completely sold with any team loaded with Pirates is going to be there when it counts, but the BGoffs do know a thing or two about powering to an SBL title or four. Welcome to the SS list.

4. Damian U (Last week's ranking: 2). The Sun-sational list is treating the Laker-lovers a little harsh, but man up, D-dog. This team definitely is built to repeat in the weaker division, but probably will have issues competing with the big dogs on the other side (or in this case, see those ranked 1-2-3 here). Anyway, the U's are no sheep.

5. Whiteskins (Last week's ranking: None). JP is probably looking around the room, saying, 'Who? Me?'" Yeah, what the hell, JP, you go 6-0 and you make a list. We're certainly not sold after four friggin' games of play, but crazier things have happened. You sure look a lot better than those pathetic CV Bombers or VW Godfathers. Just don't disappoint us.

6. Zeroes (Last week's ranking: 3): The Sun-sational list isn't fooled by the 1-5 start. There's way too much talent on this squad to be fooled by one week of competition. That means, get your act together this week or start looking for another list to get on, Paulo.

-- Dan Evans, owner of the Cherry Valley Bombers

Sun-sational Six (Preseason Edition)

While the standings will tell us one thing about how our teams our doing, we'll attempt to keep a more subjective eye on the power in the Sun Baseball League with the Sun-sational Six, a weekly tab on who's the biggest and baddest among the SBL.

Since no one has played any games yet, this really is The Barometer of the best and brightest among this season's teams. So without further ado, here's the Sun-sational Six after Tuesday's draft (no brownie points to the Inmates for hosting the draft).

1. The Moaners (who else?). Not exactly an upset here. Seeing as how they have been even more dominant than the real Yankees, I'm thinking maybe we should rename them the Bronx Moaners. That might have a different meaning in NYC, but for the SBL, the Moaners are BFD. Or as my 13-year-old daughter would say, "OMG!"

2. Damian United. We give a tip of the cap to some real gamers, who celebrated their second championship series run in 2010, but still seek their first title. Hey, it's tough to win a baseball title with a soccer nickname. Suck it, DU.

3. Abu Dubai Zeroes. Good thing this league ain't in Arizona or I doubt we'd even let these foreigners play, but there's little doubt that the Zeroes are an institutional power worthy of the upper-echelon of the SBL. They're kind of like the Moaners Light, both in substance and receding hair line.

4. Badgers. Hurts to give any credit to this Bay Area franchise, because let's face it: Andy ain't afraid to pluck some low-lying fruit on his team. The Badgers, despite a propensity to draft all that he sees from the A's and Giants, still manages to pound most of the SBL. Plus, now Andy is an author. That's got to get him a pass onto the Sun-sational list.

5. Godfather. You gotta give some props to the inventor of this glorious game. Plus, it's the spring. We can all hope Vic has a chance just like the Cubs. Chances are the Godfathers will flame off this list in a week or two, but it never hurts tug at our furlocks, as Ed Mauel would have said. Vic's probably starting to look like that guy, too. Hope he never talks like him, though.

6. Pope's Pontiffs. Not sure where this Vatican Madmen shit came from, but there's no denying anyone who can take Kendrys Morales with the 28th pick of the draft deserves to be on some list (probably not this one anymore at the beginning of next week.) But you have to give the guy credit. He was the only one in the draft room who could count to 300 and right on the button. Sweet.

-- Dan Evans, owner of the Cherry Valley Bombers