SBL Notebook, Week 11

The National division experienced upheaval of Biblical proportions this week, in a last-shall-be-first, first-shall-be-last sense. The Patton Inmates, held against their will in an SBL basement apartment most of the season, went 6-0, building on last week’s 5-1 performance and catapulting out of the cellar, all the way to fourth place. And the season-long division leaders, Dan’s Cherry Valley Bombers, executed an 0-6 swan dive and saw their lead dwindle to four games over JP’s Whiteskins. . . . Meanwhile, the already simmering American Division race was brought to a boil, with Paulo’s Zero’s going 5-1 and pulling into a flat-footed tie with the BGoff Bammers for the AL lead. Bristow’s Batfaced Barristers also made a move, going 6-0 to edge to within eight games of the co-leaders. In other BBB news, we are informed that congratulations are in order –- Hizzoner has been appointed to the federal bench just this week. Which of course means a) he gets one those really cool curly white wigs, right?; b) maybe we’ll finally find out what he’s got goin’ on under those ropes; and c) all you SBL owners who’ve been transporting drugs, guns and minors across state lines are hereby warned to cease and desist immediately, or face the cold, hard justice of the Judge’s gavel. For now his wrath is confined to the stat sheet, where this week he effectively told his AL rivals, “Adjudicate this!” His unbeaten week wasn’t what you’d call overwhelming – several of his games were pretty close, actually – but 11 HRs, 35 runs, 33 TB, a 2.59 ERA and eight saves got the job done. The Inmates’ 6-0 run was more of the scorched-earth variety; his closest game was an 8-3 verdict over Mikee’s Moaners. The Incarcerated Recidivists can’t be thrilled with their 28-40 record, but in a division where no one has been able to maintain traction (even the first-place Bombers are 2-10 the last two weeks), the ’Mates are only 13 games behind the CVBs, and nine games removed from a playoff spot – they ain’t out of it, in other words. Speaking of the Moaners, they win this season’s Idiot Award for violating the SBL’s arcane rule of all arcane rules – the four-start minimum – which almost never happens and is really, really, really hard to do. The M’s got only three starts from their injury-depleted rotation and taxi squad, and thus were obliged to forfeit four pitching stats – everything but saves. Yes, they went 0-6. . . . And while we’re sort of on the subject, a reminder for all those playing at home that it’s time to update your rosters – the trade last week between the Moaners and Bammers (SP Chris Young and SS Marco Scutaro for James Shields and Elvis Andrus) is now in effect. Unfortunately for the M’s, the deal was consummated too late to get Shields into their rotation during Week 11, when they really needed him to avoid four-start jail, but, you know, whatever.

Week 11 standings

AMERICAN
Team, LW........W....L....PCT....GB
Paul (5-1).........43...25...632....--
Brian (3-3)........43...25...632....--
David (6-0).......35...33...515....8
Dennis (3-3)......34...34...500....9
Andy (3-3)........30...38...441...13
Mike (0-6)........30...38...441...13
NATIONAL
Team, LW........W....L....PCT....GB
Dan (0-6).........41...27...603....--
JP (3-3)...........37...31...544.....4
Damian (3-3).....32...36...471.....9
Gregg (6-0).......28...40...412....13
Vic (3-3)...........28...40...412....13
Derek (1-5).......26...42...382....15

Holliday on the block

Dennis Pope, owner of the Vatican City Madmen, is looking to part ways with OF Matt Holliday. The Madmen are seeking an active outfielder and a supplemental draft pick in return.

Moaners make minor deal with Bammers

Mikee's Moaners and Brian's Bammers made a post-draft trade as both teams look to solidify positions where depth was lacking.

To the Moaners: SP James Shields and SS Elvis Andrus.

To the Bammers: SP Chris Young and SS Marco Scutaro.

FYI, SS Marco Scutaro becomes the first player to be traded twice this season. Orginally taken by PaulO's Zeroes in the first free-agent draft, Scutaro was traded from the Zeroes to the Moaners earlier this season in a deal involving SS Hanley Ramirez.

SBL Notebook, Week 10

Offense remained as cool as our overcast SoCal June, but on the other hand the races are heating up, and that's not a bad thing, right? . . . If anything, the cloud cover thickened on the hitting side of the ledger this week. Except for the odd spasm of productivity sticking out like a sore thumb here and there (the Patton Inmates' 43 runs, Andy's Badgers' 14 HRs and 40 RBIs), the numbers were stunning in their smallness. Take away Gregg's total and no one had more than 34 runs, with half the league failing to get out of the 20s (one even failing to get INTO the 20s). Remove Andy from the equation and nobody exceeded 32 RBIs, with a whopping eight teams stranded in the 20s. It was the same in TB (league high was 33, only one other team topped 30 and three didn't even get to 20) and OBP (seven teams at .311 or lower, three not even reaching .300). Of course the corollary to feeble hitting is strong pitching, and there was plenty of that, with no fewer than four sub-2.00 ERAs and three more under 3.00 turning up on the stat sheet. . . . The National division won the last week of interleague play, 21-15, to earn a 2-2 split in this four-week period. JP's Whiteskins and DamianUnited led the NL rush by each going 6-0, a result that moved the second-place 'Skins four games closer to the BTIB, Dan's Cherry Valley Bombers, who went 2-4 and now lead by seven. Things got more interesting in the AL, where the BGoff Bammers continued flat for a fourth straight week (1-5 this week, 8-16 in interleague play) and saw their lead shaved from five games to two over Paulo's Zero's.

Week 10 standings

AMERICAN........W...L...PCT...GB
Brian..............40..22...645...--
Paul...............38..24...613....2
Dennis............31..31...500....9
Mike..............30..32...484...10
David.............29..33...468...12
Andy..............27..35...435...13
NATIONAL........W...L...PCT...GB
Dan................41..21...661...--
JP..................34..28...548....7
Damian............29..33...468...12
Vic.................25..37...403...16
Derek.............25..37...403...16
Gregg.............22..40...355...19

Free agent draft No. 5

Pre-draft DL moves:
Mike: Activates OF Thames; drops DeJesus, drops 1B Hafner.

1. Gregg: takes RP Madson, Lidge to DL
2. Vic: takes SP Bush, Peavy to DL; taxi: Duke up, Maine down
3. Andy (from Damian): takes OF McCutchen, drops Lewis
4. Andy: takes SS Tulowitzki, drops Guzman; taxi: Anderson up, Cecil down
5. Derek: takes SS Guzman, drops Aybar; taxi: Meche up, Danks down
6. Mike: takes 3B An.LaRoche, drops Atkins
7. David: takes C Jaramillo, drops Shoppach
8. Dennis: takes OF Cuddyer, drops Maybin
9. JP: takes SS Aybar, drops Aviles
10. Paul: takes OF Pierre, Nady to DL
11. Brian: takes 1B Ad.LaRoche, drops CDavis
12. Dan: takes RP JPHowell, drops Ray; elevates Smoltz to No. 1 on taxi squad

Badgers, DamU complete multi-player trade

Andy's Badgers found a willing partner in their attempt to rattle their roster, trading spare parts to DamianUnited for a pitching phenom and a free-agent draft pick.

To the Badgers: SP Tommy Hanson, OF Jack Cust, RP Daniel Aardsma and a pick, which he used to select OF Andrew McCutchen.

To DamU: OF Andre Ethier, SP Chris Volstad, RP Dan Wheeler.

Badgers looking for pitching

Andrew Baggarly, owner of the Badgers, is again looking to shake up his team. This time he's looking for a "BFF" to pair with staff ace Zach Greinke. The Badgers would like either a closer or another top-of-the-rotation starting pitcher and are offering up outfielders.

His e-mail:

"OK, the Badgers could use a closer and/or a frontline starting pitcher. Like, a difference maker to give Greinke a new BFF. I have outfielders. Discuss amongst yourselves and make me an offer."

Everyone has outfielders. The Badgers' best is Orioles' five-tool guy Adam Jones. A team would have either need OF production pretty badly or have some real pitching depth to make a deal here.

SBL Notebook, Week 9

While the bottom continues to fall out of the NL, there are rumblings at the top of the AL, where a closer-than-expected race is developing -– closer, actually, than one would have thought possible a week ago (more on that later). Dan’s Cherry Valley Bombers put together a second consecutive 6-0 week to bust out to an 11-game lead in a National division that continues to resemble the 1973 NL East. JP’s Whiteskins went 5-1 to move into second place –- at 25-25. The rest of the division went a collective 4-20 in the third week of interleague play, leaving no team among that less-than-fearsome foursome within even five games of .500. ... Meanwhile in the AL, a statistical malfunction (Brian submitted incorrect numbers for Weeks 7 and 8) led to a review by the commissioner’s office that resulted in the replaying of the BGoff Bammers’ games for those weeks, and four games that had appeared to be Bammers victories wound up being losses. This explains why Brian’s AL lead, which was 10 games in the Week 8 report sent out seven days ago, is now five games after he went 3-3 to the runner-up Paulo’s Zero’s 4-2 in Week 9. Four NL teams picked up victories as a result of the replays – Derek's Derelicts and Gregg's Inmates in Week 7, Damian's DamU and Vic's Westerlies in Week 8. It also means that the CV Bombers have caught the Bammers for Best Record in Ball; both are now 39-17. Corrected versions of Weeks 7 and 8 will be distributed when we get the time to do it. ... Now, back to our regularly scheduled notebook. It was another week of mundane offense, a strange occurrence as we get into June and the weather warms. No team posted more than 35 runs or 38 RBIs; only three teams made it to double digits in homers; nine of the 12 teams failed to reach 30 in TBs, with only a freakish 53 by Andy’s Badgers breaking out of the downward curve. It’s a familiar litany by now. Ah, but the pitching this week was magnificent, with four sub-2.00 ERAs and two more under 3.00. The Zero’s allowed 6 earned runs in 38.2 IP for a sterling 1.40 and didn’t even come close to posting the week’s best ERA. That distinction went to the Bombers, who checked in at 0.58 –- 2 ER in 31 IP. Geez, how do you compete with that? ... The AL won the third week of interleague skirmishing, 21-15. But no, that doesn’t make it three straight winning weeks for the Americans; the replayed games turned last week’s apparent 19-17 AL verdict into an NL triumph, by the same count.

Week 9 standings

AMERICAN........W....L...PCT...GB
Brian..............39...17...696...--
Paul...............34...22...607....5
Dennis............28...28...500...11
David.............28...28...500...11
Mike..............27...29...482...12
Andy..............24...32...429...15
NATIONAL........W....L...PCT...GB
Dan................39...17...696...--
JP..................28...28...500...11
Derek..............25...31...446...14
Damian............23...33...411...16
Vic.................23...33...411...16
Gregg.............17...39...304...22

SBL Notebook, Week 8

“Bored beyond belief” were the words Steve Martin (as Harris K. Telemacher) scrawled on a steamed-up window in a pivotal scene from “L.A. Story,” and while that doesn’t exactly speak to the current state of the SBL, well, let’s just say we’ve had more compelling weeks in our league’s 26-plus-year history. Hundreds of them, is the guess here. Everywhere you look, a maelstrom of mediocrity, an avalanche of average, a perfect storm of ordinariness. First, check the standings -– we’ve got two very good teams, division leaders the BGoff Bammers and Dan’s Cherry Valley Bombers; one good team, Paulo’s 30-20 Zero’s; and this vast, quivering, Jell-O-like mass of mediocrity beneath them, featuring no fewer than eight teams slogging along with winning percentages between .400 and .500. The first three teams mentioned in the previous sentence? The only ones in ball with winning records. None of the rest can seem to get anything going, stuck in SBL purgatory, unable to sustain success for more than a week or two, neither good nor bad enough to truly stand out. And, as long as you’re checking those standings, glance ever-so-briefly at the races, which are essentially nonexistent as this particular moment -– the Bammers leading by 10 games in the American division, the Bombers by eight in the National. It could take a few weeks, and some semi-major momentum shifts, to tighten these puppies up. . . . Next, have a gander at the Week 8 stat sheet; you will find a festival of fecklessness, a cesspool of the so-so (that’ll be the last of the tortured alliteration, we promise). Nobody had more than 36 runs, 35 RBIs or 36 TB. The average home-run total was a magnificently mediocre (sorry) 7.2. The pitching wasn’t all that bad -– seven teams posted ERAs under 3.35 –- but there apparently were a lot baserunners stranded (seven BR stats of 1.4 or higher), no staff posted more than four Ws and the average save total was 3.7. It was parity writ large, and the kind of week in which a batch of what looked for all the world like 3-3-type numbers could lift the Bombers (31 runs, 35 RBIs, 31 TB, 3 SBs, .362 OBP, 3 saves, .79 K-rat, 1.24 BR) to a 6-0 record, and enable Mikee’s Moaners (34 runs, 34 TB, 5 HR, 22 RBI, .352 OBP, 3.34 ERA, 1.40 BR, 1-3 WL) and Derek’s Derelicts (31 runs, 34 RBIs, 32 TB, .366 OBP, 5.24 ERA, 1.77 BR, 3 saves) to go 5-1. Sorry to throw all those numbers at you, but they do drive the point home. . . . The second week of interleague play went to the American division, by an ever-so-slim 19-17 margin. The AL also had taken the Week 7 faceoff, 21-15.

Week 8 standings

AMERICAN........W....L...PCT...GB
Brian..............40...10...800...--
Paul...............30...20...600...10
David.............25...25...500...15
Dennis............24...26...480...16
Mike..............22...28...440...18
Andy..............22...28...440...18
NATIONAL........W....L...PCT...GB
Dan...............33...17...660...--
Derek.............25...25...500....8
JP.................23...27...460...10
Vic................22...28...440...11
Damian...........21...29...420...12
Gregg.............13...37...260...20

Free agent draft No. 4

Pre-draft DL moves:
Paul: Activates SP Kuroda, drops Nolasco
Damian: Activates SP Matsuzaka, puts Kazmir on DL

1. Gregg: takes OF Reimold, Sizemore to DL; taxi: Price up, Kawakami down
2. Mike: takes SS Zobrist, drops Lowrie
3. Andy: takes RP Wheeler, drops Corpas
4. Damian: takes 2B Kennedy, drops Iwamura; taxi: Matsuzaka and Penny up, Galarraga down
5. Derek: takes SP Blackburn, drop Moyer; taxi: Blackburn up, Meche down
6. Vic: takes SP Duke, drops Myers
7. Dennis: takes 1B Butler, Delgado to DL
8. JP: takes OF Scott, CGuillen to DL
9. David: takes RP Bailey, drops Devine
10: Dan: takes 3B Feliz, drops Hall
11: Paul: takes 2B Castillo, Weeks to DL; taxi: RJohnson and Hughes up, Liriano and Kuroda down
12: Brian: takes SS Hairston, drops Tulowitzki; taxi: Carpenter and Shields up, Millwood and WRodriguez down