Merry Christmas!

(To be hummed to the tune of "Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer")

------

There were Bombers and Bammers and Godfathers and Pontiffs, Zero's and Inmates and Badgers and Whiteskins. But do you recall the most famous roto league of them all?

SBL, the chili-fueled nightmare.
It has so many know-it-alls.
And if you ever played in it,
you would even say it blows.

Most of the other players,
used to laugh have sports journalism jobs.
But now they have more free time,
to hack at this infuriating game.

Then one foggy Spring Training Eve,
the Moaners came to say:
"You all think you're so bright,
but I'm still gonna kick your ass tonight."

Now all of the other players
aside from those that've made a plea,
they'll never even get a sniff off
making SBL history!

SBL Champions List

ALL-TIME SBL CHAMPIONS
(5-Team League)
1983 - Gil Hulse
(6-team League)
1984 - Gil Hulse
1985 - Steve Dilbeck
(12-Team League, Division Play)
1986 - Mike Davis (defeated Gregg Patton)
1987 - Gregg Patton
1988 - Jeff Lane
1989 - Steve Dilbeck
1990 - Steve Dilbeck
1991 - Mike Davis (def. Steve Dilbeck, 14-12)
1992 - Vic West
1993 - Gregg Patton (def. Mike Davis, 18-8)
1994 - Dan Evans (def. Gregg Patton, 10-9; strike-shortened season)
1995 - Paul Oberjuerge (def. Steve Dilbeck, 14-9; strike-shortened season)
1996 - Mike Davis (def. Steve Dilbeck, 17-9)
1997 - Vic West d. Dan Evans, 13-13 (8-3 in tiebreaker)
1998 - Gregg Patton (def. Mike Davis, 14-12)
1999 - Mike Davis (def. Damian Secore, 16-10)
2000 - Brian Goff (def. Gregg Patton, 14-12)
2001 - Mike Davis (def. Gregg Patton, 17-9)
2002 - Brian Goff (def. Vic West, 14-12)
2003 - Dan Evans (def. Brian Goff, 15-11)
2004 - Vic West (def. Mike Davis, 14-12)
2005 - Brian Goff (def. Dan Evans, 17-9)
2006 - Brian Goff (def. Paul Oberjuerge, 17-9); Playoffs: Brian Goff d. Steve Dilbeck, 18-8; Paul Oberjuerge d. Vic West, 13-13 (7-4 in tiebreaker)
2007 - Mike Davis (def. Brian Goff, 15-11); Playoffs: Mike Davis d. Steve Dilbeck , 16-10; Brian Goff d. Dan Evans, 14-12
2008 - Mike Davis (def. Brian Goff, 18-8); Playoffs: Mike Davis d. Damian Secore, 20-6; Brian Goff d. Gregg Patton, 14-12
2009 - Paul Oberjuerge (def. Andy Baggerly, 14-12); Playoffs: Paul Oberjuerge d. JP Hoornstra, 20-6; Andy Baggerly d. Dan Evans, 15-11
2010 - Mike Davis (def. Damian Secore, 15-11); Playoffs: Mike Davis d. Gregg Patton, 17-9; Damian Secore d. Paul Oberjuerge, 13-13 (6-5 in tiebreaker)
2011 - Dan Evans (def. Paul Oberjuerge, 14-12); Playoffs: Dan Evans d. Mike Davis, 14-12; Paul Oberjuerge d. Derek Rich, 13-13 (7-4 in tiebreaker)

SBL Series 2011

BOMBERS 14, ZERO'S 12
Week 1: Dan 8, Paul 3; Week 2: Paul 7, Dan 4; Week 3: Dan 7, Paul 4; Week 4: Paul 8, Dan 3; Week 5: Paul 8.5, Dan 2.5; Week 6: Dan 8, Paul 3; Week 7: Paul 9, Dan 2; Week 8: Dan 7, Paul 4; Week 9: Paul 9, Dan 2; Week 10: Dan 8, Paul 3; Week 11: Dan 6, Paul 5; Week 12: Paul 7, Dan 4; Week 13: Dan 6, Paul 5; Week 14: Paul 6, Dan 5; Week 15: Paul 6, Dan 5; Week 16: Paul 6, Dan 5; Week 17: Paul 6, Dan 5; Week 18: Paul 6.5, Dan 4.5; Week 19: Dan 7, Paul 4; Week 20: Dan 6, Paul 5; Week 21: Dan 7, Paul 4; Week 22: Dan 6.5, Paul 4.5; Week 23: Dan 6.5, Paul 4.5; Week 24: Dan 9, Paul 2; Week 25: Paul 9, Dan 2; Week 26: Dan 9, Paul 2.

SBL Playoffs

BOMBERS 14, MOANERS 12
Week 1: Mike 6.5, Dan 4.5; Week 2: Mike 6.5, Dan 4.5; Week 3: Mike 8.5, Dan 2.5; Week 4: Dan 6, Mike 5; Week 5: Mike 8, Dan 3; Week 6: MIKE 5.5, Dan 5.5; Week 7: DAN 5.5, Mike 5.5; Week 8: Dan 7, Mike 4; Week 9: Dan 6, Mike 5; Week 10: Dan 7, Mike 4; Week 11: Mike 9.5, Dan 1.5; Week 12: Mike 8, Dan 3; Week 13: Dan 7.5, Mike 3.5; Week 14: Mike 8, Dan 3; Week 15: Dan 7, Mike 4; Week 16: Dan 8, Mike 3; Week 17: Mike 6.5, Dan 4.5; Week 18: Mike 6.5, Dan 4.5; Week 19: Mike 7.5, Dan 3.5; Week 20: Dan 8.5, Mike 2.5; Week 21: Dan 6, Mike 5; Week 22: Dan 8, Mike 3; Week 23: Mike 8, Dan 3; Week 24: Dan 9, Mike 2; Week 25: Dan 9, Mike 2; Week 26: Dan 7.5, Mike 3.5.

ZERO'S 13, DERELICTS 13 (Z's WIN TIEBREAKER, 7-4)
Week 1: Derek 8, Paul 3; Week 2: Paul 8, Derek 3; Week 3: Derek 8.5, Paul 2.5; Week 4: Paul 6.5, Derek 4.5; Week 5: Paul 8, Derek 3; Week 6: Derek 7, Paul 4; Week 7: Paul 8, Derek 3; Week 8: Derek 6, Paul 5; Week 9: Paul 6, Derek 5; Week 10: Derek 6, Paul 5; Week 11: Derek 6.5, Paul 4.5; Week 12: Paul 8, Derek 3; Week 13: Paul 6, Derek 5; Week 14: Paul 6.5, Derek 4.5; Week 15: Paul 7, Derek 4; Week 16: Paul 8, Derek 3; Week 17: Paul 7, Derek 4; Week 18: Paul 10, Derek 1; Week 19: Derek 6, Paul 5; Week 20: Derek 6, Paul 5; Week 21: Derek 7, Paul 4; Week 22: Derek 6.5, Paul 4.5; Week 23: Derek 6.5, Paul 4.5; Week 24: DEREK 5.5, Paul 5.5; Week 25: Paul 9.5, Derek 1.5; Week 26: Derek 7, Paul 4.

SBL Notebook, Final

Corks are popping, the sparkling cider is flowing, and fireworks fill the air . . . Skyrockets in flight . . . afternoon delight . . . sorry, got sidetracked there for a moment. . . . As we were saying, the party is in full gallop at base camp below Mount San Gorgonio, where the Cherry Valley Bombers are celebrating their 2011 SBL championship. The fast-finishing Bombers rallied in the SBL Series to defeat the Zero's, 14-12 -- after first rallying in the wild-card playoff round to beat the Moaners by the same score -- to bring home their third league title, their first since 2003 . . . and, significantly, the first by a National division franchise since the Godfathers took the whole enchilada in 2004. The CVBs didn't set the world on fire in the early and middle innings of their postseason series, but then they closed like Mariano Rivera (or, to make this more appropriately Bomber-centric, John Axford), winning six of the last seven weeks in the wild-card round after trailing the M's 11-8, and then taking seven of the last eight weeks in the Series to wipe out an 11-7 deficit against the Z's. Thus did they complete one of the greatest single-season rags-to-riches sagas in SBL history. Six weeks into the campaign, the Bombers were dead in the water, and the National division race, sitting last in the standings with a 10-28 record, 16 games behind the division-leading Inmates. Then, beginning with the first week of interleague play, they got the wind in their sails, started winning and never really stopped, going 92-32 from weeks 7 through 26. And, typical of championship teams, they were at their very best when the games counted most, down the stretch -- going an incredible 40-4 over the last seven weeks to scramble from fifth place, eight games out, to first, six games ahead of runners-up Derek’s Derelicts at the finish line. Prodigious offense, a rare and precious commodity in baseball's nascent Era of the Pitcher, was what carried the CVBs during that crucial final stretch -- they averaged 12.6 HRs, 41.6 runs, 38.1 RBIs and 32.8 TBs per week in those frantic last seven weeks, with no OBP lower than .359 (and two that topped the magic .400 barrier). Their pitching was also stunningly good during that time, with five ERAs of 3.00 or lower and none higher than 3.44. No wonder they lost only four times in 44 games -- someday the owners of the Zero's, Moaners, Vic's Godfathers and the Batfaced Barristers will be able to tell their grandchildren about the year when they were the only SBL teams to register a victory against the Bombers during one of the most amazing closing runs ever seen. The rest of the NL hardly had a chance, though to their credit the Derelicts and Godfathers kept things close right to the end, delaying the CVBs' clinching until the final week in one of the more interesting races we've had in recent years. The Double-Ds and G-Daddies entered the final week tied for the NL wild-card lead, four games behind the Bombers, but the GDs blew a gasket in a 1-5 Week 26, while the 'Licts churned out a workmanlike 4-2 to capture the first playoff berth in franchise history.

The individual components that coalesced into championship fusion for the Bombers were, as these things often tend to be, quite impressive. Drafting out of the No. 10 spot, Dan nailed his first pick, Miguel Cabrera, who delivered a typical Miggy year (great OBP, boatloads of doubles and homers, triple-digits in runs and ribbies). Second-round pick Dan Uggla did what he was paid to do (hit home runs, 36 of them), and fourth-round selection Adrian Beltre exceeded expectations with, at age 32, the second-best year of his career -- 32 HRs, 105 BI, 33 doubles despite a six-week DL stint that limited him to 497 ABs. But, as also is often the case, it was the later picks, the sleepers, that put the CVBs over the top. Dan no doubt wishes he could’ve had do-overs on Jayson Werth (36th overall) and Alex Rios (63rd) – but did those minor drafting missteps even matter in the grand scheme? Jacoby Ellsbury (89th) did the work of two OFs, putting together a preposterously good six-category season (119 R, 105 BI, 32 HR, 46 2B, 39 SB, .376 OBP) that made him the Bombers' MVP and a serious contender for the real-world AL MVP. Alex Gordon had a breakthrough season (23 HR, 45 2Bs, 101 runs, 87 BI, 23 HR, 17 SBs) that far outstripped anything he’d done previously, and supplemental pickup Lance Berkman proved he had one more big year left in him at age 35 (31 HRs, 94 BI, 90 runs, .412 OBP in only 488 ABs) . . . and with an Ellsbury-Gordon-Berkman outfield, who the hell needed Jayson Werth, Alex Rios or Bobby Abreu (128th) anyway? Berkman wasn’t Dan’s only difference-making supplemental pick, either. Using the advantageous draft positions afforded by his team’s lackluster start, he added a 30-HR, 80-BI shortstop in J.J. Hardy, a solid fourth outfielder in Matt Joyce (19 HRs, 75 BI, 32 2Bs) and a serviceable DH in Carlos Pena, a Zero’s castoff who finished with 28 HRs and 80 BI. But perhaps the savviest pick Dan made -- the kind of pick that separates men from boys and champions from also-rans -- was his stealth selection of SP Javier Vazquez after Week 20. At the time of that draft the 35-year-old journeyman right-hander was 7-11 with a 4.67 ERA. But, as apparently no one but the Bombers GM noticed, Vazquez had strung together a month’s worth of solid outings; he’d just been pitching in hard luck. So Dan took a flier on him, and all Vazquez did in seven starts in CVB togs was go 6-0 with a 1.04 ERA, .71 BR and 1.02 K-rate – a significant statistical payoff that just happened to coincide with the Bombers’ season-ending hot streak. Vazquez’s excellent work rounded out a strong rotation anchored by NL Cy Young favorite Clayton Kershaw (21-5, 2.28 ERA, 1.06 K-rate, .98 WHIP) and AL rookie-of-the-year candidate Jeremy Hellickson (13-10, 2.95). The Bombers’ bullpen was more pedestrian, but the aforementioned Axford (46 saves, 1.95 ERA, 1.17 K-rate) kept them reasonably competitive in the RP-influenced stats. Put it all together and you have a complete, well-rounded team that was the SBL’s best . . . though, it should be said, not by all that much. The Zero’s nursed the league’s best record from Week 14 to season’s end (they finished with 105 wins, three more than the Bombers) -- they just couldn’t maintain that pace quite long enough, flattening out once they hit the “Heartbreak Hill” portion of the SBL marathon and going 28-22 the last seven weeks, giving the CVBs an opening they did not squander. And the Derelicts -- who also drafted very well and assembled a roster with many strengths and no glaring weaknesses -- were right there with both division champions, chasing the Bombers to the wire and then taking the Zero’s to overtime in the first round of the playoffs. Their series ended in a 13-13 tie, necessitating use of the old school mega-tiebreaker – one big ol’ game based on cumulative season totals in each of the 11 SBL stats . . . the method we used to determine the SBL champion before 1991. Paul won that 7-4 to advance to the Series.

The closely-contested postseason (two 14-12 series and one 13-13) was a fitting climax to one of the most competitively balanced seasons we’ve had in recent years, a season that saw seven teams remain in legitimate playoff contention into mid-September. And the fact that the National division pennant-winner emerged as champion . . . well, that seems somehow appropriate too. This was the season of the NL’s renaissance, when the senior circuit ended years of AL domination with a decisive 169-119 victory in the eight weeks of interleague play. Four NL teams – the Bombers, Derelicts, Godfathers and Inmates -- finished with winning records, and a fifth, DamianUnited, kept its nose above .500 until the final two weeks. Contrast this to the AL, where four of the six teams staggered home with losing records (when was the last time that happened . . . ever?) -- the Zero’s and Moaners combining for 203 victories, the rest of the division for 246. The level of competition was simply higher in the NL this year, meaning the Bombers and Derelicts probably survived a more intense crucible for their 102 and 96 wins, respectively, than the Z’s and M’s did for their 105 and 98. . . . Until last year, and DamU advanced to the championship round, the NL had not won a postseason series since we added the wild-card round before the 2006 season. But that worm, clearly, has turned. So, give it up for the NL.

Before we put the -30- on this season (for the whippersnappers in the audience, dash-30-dash is an archaic print-journalism term, dating from the days of hot type, meaning “end of story”), we offer our sincere thanks, as always, to statkeepers Paul Oberjuerge, Gregg Patton and Dan Evans for their dedicated, professional service, and to draftmeister Derek Rich, who orchestrated the 12 biweekly free-agent lotteries with the ease and assurance of a veteran (even if it was only his second year). And, of course, thanks to all for playing, and helping to maintain the spirit and tradition of one of the nation's oldest continuing fantasy baseball enterprises -- and (it can’t be said often enough), in our educated view the best game ever invented! Have a great off-season, and we'll see you, in person or via Skype, in March for the 2012 SBL draft.

Week 26 standings (Final)

AMERICAN DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Zero's (4-2)...............105...57....648....--
Moaners (4-2).............98...64....605.....7
Badgers (6-0).............78...84....481....27
Bammers (0-6)...........78...84....481....27
Barristers (1-5)...........52..110....321....53
Puny Pontiffs (3-3).......38..124....235....67
NATIONAL DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Bombers (6-0)............102...60....630....--
Derelicts (4-2).............96...66....593.....6
Godfathers (1-5)..........93...69....574.....9
Inmates (3-3).............83...79....512....19
DamianUnited (0-6)......76...86....469....26
Whiteskins (4-2)..........73...89....451....29

SBL Notebook, Week 25

Congratulations to the Zero's, whose long-expected coronation as American division champions becomes official as of today. They went 7-0 in Week 25, while the second-place Moaners went 3-4 to drop seven games back with six to play, and that, as they say in baseball, was that. Meanwhile, there's more "that" to be determined in the National division, where both races are coming down to the final week. the Cherry Valley Bombers are still looking like good bets for the division title, maintaining the four-game lead they enjoyed last week, but the wild-card race is now a dead heat between the Godfathers and the Derelicts. More on that in a bit; first, let us celebrate the mighty Z's. The Zero's have occupied first place in the AL and kept the Best Record In Ball under lock and key since Week 14, so nothing about their clinching comes as a surprise. Nonetheless, after their little 2-4 hiccup in Week 24 had allowed the Moaners to make a very brief threatening gesture, pulling to within three games, the Z's put pedal to metal and wrapped things up with a kill-'em-all-including-the-women-and-children performance that included two 11-0 shutouts, two 10.5-.5 wipeouts and two 9-2 blowouts. Pouring it on as if intent on eradicating any lingering doubt about just who was the bull-goose loony in the AL asylum (like there was any doubt to begin with), the Zero's racked up 43 runs, 41 RBIs, 11 HRs, a .389 OBP, 2.38 ERA, .82 BR stat, 1.13 K-rate and 6 saves. So comprehensive was their dominance that even the white-hot Bombers, 29-2 over the previous five weeks and quite possibly destined for a postseason showdown with the Z's, were humbled by the AL champs in a 9-2 interleague defeat. . . . This is hardly virgin territory for the Zero's, who've lived in the SBL's high-rent district for years. This is their second AL flag in three years and their third consecutive playoff berth -- in 2009 they won "the whole . . . f**kin' . . . thing," as Indians catcher Jake Taylor put it in "Major League" -- and they've finished lower than second place only twice since 2004. Now, it's on to the playoffs, where the Z's first-round opponent will be . . . who the f**k knows? The Godfathers had been scuffling since the end of interleague play, going 11-14 in Weeks 21-24 to fall from first place to third in the NL. But they put it all together in Week 25, bashing their way to a 7-0 run fueled by league-leading totals in RBIs (43), OBP (.391) and TB (39). The CVBs went 5-2 -- to repeat, that's as many losses as the Bombers had suffered in the previous five weeks combined -- and so did the Derelicts, whose two-game edge on the Godfathers dissolved into a second-place tie, and here we are. . . . We head into the final week with clear lines between haves and have-nots, a situation we'd largely avoided for most of a season marked by unusual competitive balance. With one week to go, however, we have something that looks closer to the customary SBL stratification -- one 101-win team (Zero's), four in the 90s (CVBs, M's, G-Daddies, DD's), and everyone else well below the top tier. A late-season fade by the Bammers (1-18 the last three weeks, an exact counterpoint to their 18-1 start back in April) has dragged them all the way down to .500, leaving the Zero's and Moaners as the only AL teams with winning records. In the NL, fifth-place DamianUnited, who'd been flirting with it for weeks, finally dipped below the break-even point (76-80) with an 0-7 accident, and the Inmates, in first place as recently as Week 19, went 2-5, continuing a prolonged slide (11-33 the last seven weeks) that has left them just four games above .500.

Week 25 standings

AMERICAN DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Zero's (7-0)...............101...55....647....--
Moaners (3-4).............94...62....603.....7
Bammers (1-6)............78...78....500....23
Badgers (6-1).............72...84....462....29
Barristers (2-5)...........51..105....327....50
Puny Pontiffs (0-7).......35..121....224....66
NATIONAL DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Bombers (5-2).............96...60....615....--
Godfathers (7-0)..........92...64....590.....4
Derelicts (5-2).............92...64....590.....4
Inmates (2-5).............80...76....513....16
DamianUnited (0-7)......76...80....487....20
Whiteskins (4-3)..........69...87....442....27

SBL Notebook, Week 24

Strange, sometimes, the way things go in the SBL. One week the National division race is as hot and heavy as Brangelina and the American division race is looking as dry and lifeless as a lunar landscape, and the next week everything is turned upside down. Now it's the NL pennant chase that's starting to look a little more like a foregone conclusion, and the AL race that has suddenly taken on a more up-for-grabs appearance. Could it really have been only two weeks ago that the NL standings featured a three-way deadlock at the top, with a fourth team only three games back? That's a true story . . . but as the Cherry Valley Bombers continue their late-summer rampage, and their pursuers struggle to keep up, the distance between hunted and hunters keeps growing. A second consecutive 6-0 week by the CVBs, combined with a 3-3 by the Derelicts and a 2-4 by the Godfathers, left the Bombers with a four-game bulge on the Double-Ds and six up on the G-Daddies, with only 13 games to play. Meanwhile, an AL race that stagnated for months as the Zero's maintained a death grip on the best record in ball has grown unexpectedly uncomfortable for the Z's, who went 2-4 while the runners-up Moaners cobbled together a second successive 6-0 week and crept to within three games of the top. The good news for the Zero's: They clinched a playoff berth (as did the Moaners), because the third-place Bammers went 0-6 for the second straight week and were eliminated from the postseason picture -- 17 games behind the Z's and 14 out of the wild-card spot occupied by the M's. The bad news for the Zero's: Their sustained period of mediocrity -- 17-20 over the last six weeks -- allowed the Moaners to hang around, staying close enough for their 12-0 mini-surge the last two weeks to make things interesting. The Zed's have been the BTIB since Week 14, enjoyed a season-best 13-game lead at the Week 18 milepost, were cruising with a nine-game advantage as recently as Week 22 and never led by fewer than seven in the nine weeks preceding this one. Now they may need to shake out of their doldrums fast or risk being overtaken at the wire. That, or hope that the Moaners experience a week in which their win-loss totals are more commensurate with their stat line. The M's, who took the scorched-earth route to their Week 23 perfecto, this week went 6-0 with what looked more like 2-4ish numbers. Not the first time that's happened this year, either. The M's were lights-out in two stats -- SBs and saves (8 of each) -- and pedestrian pretty much everywhere else. Nevertheless, 32 runs, 28 RBIs, 29 TB, a .308 OBP, 8 HRs, a 3.48 ERA, 1.23 BR ratio and 2-1 WL added up to two 6-5 wins, three 7-4 victories and another unblemished ledger, taking them past the 90-win threshold. All the earth-scorching in Week 24 was done by the Bombers, who've been doing a lot of that lately -- going 29-2 over the last five weeks to surge from eight games behind to four ahead. This week they once again made like the tripods in "War of the Worlds," vaporizing everything in their path with 53 TB, 43 runs, 43 BI, 12 HRs, a .397 OBP . . . and, as if that wasn't enough, a 1.49 ERA, .83 BR rate, 6-0 WL and five saves. That's league highs in seven stats and second-best totals in two others. No wonder they won four games by 10-1 scores and the other two by 9-2. If the CVBs had played the Moaners this week -- a game that might actually become reality in the playoffs -- it would have been Bombers 9, M's 2. As it was, both teams got to celebrate the same outcome, a 6-0 run. . . . In the bad news department, the Batfaced Barristers suffered their 100th defeat, joining the Puny Pontiffs in the Triple Digit Loss Club (the "good" news there -- no other team will be earning that dubious distinction this year). . . . Hard-luck award for the week goes to the Godfathers, whose numbers suggested something better than 2-4, but who were undone by two close (one of them excruciatingly so) tiebreaker losses. Still, the 'Daddies are only two games out of the NL wild card -- the closest race we've got going at the moment.

Week 24 standings

AMERICAN DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Zero's (2-4)................94...55....631....--
Moaners (6-0).............91...58....611.....3
Bammers (0-6)............77...72....517....17
Badgers (4-2).............66...83....443....28
Barristers (1-5)...........49..100....329....45
Pontiffs (3-3).............35..114....235....59
NATIONAL DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Bombers (6-0).............91...58....611....--
Derelicts (3-3).............87...62....584.....4
Godfathers (2-4)..........85...64....570.....6
Inmates (1-5).............78...71....523....13
DamianUnited (3-3)......76...73....510....15
Whiteskins (5-1)..........65...84....436....26

Free agent draft No. 12

Pre-draft DL moves:
DamianUnited activate and drop 2B Guillen; activate OF N.Cruz, drop Boesch
Pontiffs activate and drop OF Sizemore

1. Pontiffs take OF De Aza; Ethier to DL
2. Barristers take 1B Evans, drop Morneau
3. Whiteskins take OF Fowler, drop Murphy
4. Badgers take RP Moore, drop D.Hernandez
5. DamianUnited take 1B Smoak, drop Dunn;
........Taxi: Dempster up, Karstens down
6. Inmates take RP Acosta, drop Street
7. Bammers take SP Pomeranz, drop Zimmerman;
........Taxi: Pomeranz up, Norris down
8. Godfathers pass
9. Derelicts take SP Nova, drop Luebke;
........Taxi: Romero up, Marcum down
10. Moaners take OF E.Thames, drop Brantley
11. Bombers take SP Harang, drop Baker;
........Taxi: Harang up, G.Gonzalez down
12. Zero's take RP J.Johnson, drop Gregg

SBL Notebook: Week 23

"And then there were three." Besides being the title of perhaps the weakest album Genesis released in the 1970s (for those keeping score at home, their third LP after the departure of Peter Gabriel, and their first after lead guitarist Steve Hackett left the band, leaving only keyboardist Tony Banks, singer/drummer Phil Collins and bassist/rhythm guitarist Michael Rutherford to carry on . . . with a feeling-their-way transitional record before they bounced back a couple years later with the stronger "Duke" . . . ah, but we digress), that phrase more or less describes the current state of the riveting National division race -- which also appears to have been reduced from a quartet to a trio. The Cherry Valley Bombers continued their scorching-hot late-summer surge with a 6-0 week that took their record for the last four weeks to 23-2 and left them alone in first place. The Derelicts and the Godfathers each went 4-2 and are tied for second, two games back. But the Inmates -- who've spent more time (11 weeks) in first place than any other NL club this season -- suffered a second consecutive reversal of fortune, a 1-5 nose-dive piled atop last week's 0-7 crash-and-burn, and find themselves eight games out of first place and six out of the wild card. With only 19 left to play, that looks a lot more like a mountain than a molehill for the Mental Defectives to climb. . . . Meanwhile, the American division, which a week earlier had an ultra-tight wild-card affair going on -- a dead heat between the Moaners and the Bammers -- was reintroduced to the concept of wide-open spaces. The Moaners put together perhaps the most dominating week in the SBL this year, and although it moved them only two games closer to BTIB Zero's (who still lead by seven), it coincided with an unexpected 0-6 tailspin by the Bammers, who tumbled all-but-mathematically out of the division race, and six games behind the M's in the wild-card hunt. . . . The week was mostly about offense, and the Moaners certainly had their share of that -- league-leading totals of 51 RBIs and 12 HRs, plus 39 runs and 39 TB. But what really set them apart from the crowd, and turned all six of their games into blowouts, was some uncharacteristically strong pitching, from a team more accustomed to detonating stink bombs on the mound. For the first time all season they posted the week's lowest ERA, and though it was a fairly modest 2.66, in Moaner World it was something close to Shangri-La and Xanadu rolled into one -- only the team's fifth sub-3.00 ERA all season . . . as opposed to their 14 of 4.00 or higher. They also led the pack with 10 saves (second-highest total in the league in 2011) and posted the week's second-best BR stat (1.07) and K-rate (1.09). The result of all this: Two 11-0 whitewashes, three 10-1 victories and one 8.5-2.5 squeaker -- the latter coming against the Godfathers, the unlucky NL team that drew the short straw and had to play the M's in their best week of the season. . . . The CV Bombers were no slouches themselves in compiling Week 23's other unblemished ledger, combining massive offense (49 runs, 45 RBI, 10 HRs, .413 OBP) with decent pitching (3.00 ERA -- best in their division) to win six games without breaking a sweat (closest verdict: 7.5-3.5). . . . In general, it was a go-big-or-go-home week on the hitting side, with 12 teams combining to average 37 RBIs, 35.2 runs, 8.8 HRs and 29.4 TB -- perhaps the most productive week, top to bottom, we've seen in the league this year.

Week 23 standings

AMERICAN DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Zero's (4-2)................92...51....643....--
Moaners (6-0).............85...58....594.....7
Bammers (0-6)............79...64....552....13
Badgers (3-3)..............62...81....434....30
Barristers (1-5)............48...95....343....44
Pontiffs (3-3)..............32..111....224....60
NATIONAL DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Bombers (6-0).............85...58....594....--
Derelicts (4-2).............83...60....580.....2
Godfathers (4-2)..........83...60....580.....2
Inmates (1-5)..............77...66....538.....8
DamianUnited (3-3).......72...71....503....12
Whiteskins (1-5)..........60...83....420....25

SBL Notebook: Week 22

Close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, nuclear bombs . . . and, it turns out, the SBL, where the closer the races get, the better they look. With four weeks and 25 games to play, in fact, the National division race is so hotly contested, you have to avert your eyes to avoid having your retinas singed. The smoke from Week 22 cleared to reveal a three-way tie for first place among the Cherry Valley Bombers, the Derelicts and the Godfathers, all at 79-58, with the Inmates relegated to fourth place, three games back. And, while the American division pennant chase remained fairly one-sided, with the Zero's still nine games up despite a 2-5 week, the wild-card battle is now a dead heat between the Bammers and the Moaners -- also at 79-58. So, to recap: Four races, seven teams, five of them with the exact same record. Competitive balance, thy name is Sun Baseball League. . . . The Bombers' slow and steady ascension to the top spot (their 6-1 week earned them a first-among-equals listing in the NL standings), 20 weeks after their much-discussed-to-the-verge of excess 1-12 start, represents some kind of competitive-balance apotheosis: It means that each of the six NL teams has spent at least one week in first place this season. While the CVBs have been particularly warm of late (17-2 the last three weeks), consistency has been their true metier -- they haven't experienced a losing week since June (3-4 in Week 12), and have had only three of them since reaching their low point in relation to .500, 10-28 after Week 6. With the Derelicts (3-4), Godfathers (2-5) and Inmates (0-7) stumbling this week, the Bombers are the NL entry with the momentum, both short- and long-term -- they've been gaining ground steadily, damn near every week in fact, since Week 7 when they were at their low point in relation for first place, 17 games out. . . . In the AL, the Bammers returned to their season-long strength – unassailably hellacious pitching -- to go 5-2 and pull into a second-place tie with the Moaners, who revisited their season-long weakness – unambiguously horrendous pitching -- to go 1-6. . . . Elsewhere, the fifth-place team in each division made some noise. The Batfaced Barristers, 50 games under .500 when the week began, enjoyed a cleansing moment in the sun, combining solid offense (10 HRs, 37 RBIs, 35 runs, .428 OBP) with sensational pitching (1.84 ERA, .89 BR, 1.00 K-rate) to go 7-0, the week's only unblemished ledger. And ever-mercurial DamianUnited had another of those weeks, when just about everyone in the lineup started hitting and didn't stop. Eleven weeks after posting SBL season highs of 19 HRs and 62 RBIs -- and just one week after plunging to epic lows of 3 HRs, 15 BI and 17 runs, DamU monster-mashed to the tune of 18 HRs, 51 runs, 48 BI, 45 TB and a .393 OBP. Unfortunately for them, a dearth of speed (0 SBs) and quality pitching (4.98 ERA, .67 K-rate, 1 save) resulted in three losses despite all that offense.

Week 22 standings

AMERICAN DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Zero's (2-5)................88...49....642....--
Bammers (5-2)............79...58....577.....9
Moaners (1-6).............79...58....577.....9
Badgers (5-2)..............59...78....431....29
Barristers (7-0)............47...90....343....41
Pontiffs (2-5)..............29..108....212....59
NATIONAL DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Bombers (6-1).............79...58....577....--
Derelicts (3-4).............79...58....577....--
Godfathers (2-5)..........79...58....577....--
Inmates (0-7)..............76...61....555.....3
DamianUnited (4-3).......69...68....504....10
Whiteskins (5-2)..........59...78....431....20

Free agent draft No. 11

DL move:
Zero's activate SP Strasburg, drop Wood

1. Pontiffs take 1B Guzman, drop Wallace
2. Barristers take SS Bartlett, drop Theriot;
........Taxi: Bedard up, Myers down
3. Badgers take SP Miley, drop Sanchez
4. Whiteskins pass
5. DamianUnited take OF Trout, Cruz to DL
6. Bombers take RP Motte, drop Thornton
7. Bombers take 3B Acevedo, drop Polanco;
........Taxi: Norris up, Garcia down
8. Inmates take RP Betancourt, drop Rodriguez;
........Taxi: Pineda, Morrow down
9. Derelicts take SP Fister, Tomlin to DL;
........Taxi: Fister up, Romero down
10. Godfathers take 3B Hannahan, Headley to DL
11. Moaners take SP Harden, drop Zambrano
12. Zero's take RP Cishek, drop RP Uehara

Zero's Acquire 1B Loney From BatFaces

From the Office of the Commissioner:

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"The Zero’s and Batfaced Barristers announced the following trade: 1B Loney and SP T.Wood to the Z’s, 1B Morneau and SP Bedard to the BB’s."

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The Zero's taking on 1B Loney is surprising. At least they got him for dead weight.

SBL Notebook: Week 21

The National division race is tight enough to fry an egg on the sidewa . . . no wait, that should be "hot" enough. . . . Let's try, the National division race is tighter than a witch's . . . no, that should be "colder" . . . OK, the National division race is tighter than a piano wire. . . . sorry, it's best hackneyed, overused, unoriginal metaphor we could come up with on short notice. Suffice to say, the NL race couldn't be much closer if the four principals were quadruplets sharing the same womb -- the top three teams are separated by only one game, and the fourth-place entry is only four back. While the pacesetting Godfathers were dogpaddling to a 3-3 week, the surging Derelicts put together a second successive 6-0 to pull into a second-place tie with the Inmates (also 3-3), and the fourth-place Cherry Valley Bombers went 5-1 to pull within four games of the top. The Double-Ds have been an offensive force most of the season -- with big-ticket hitters like Adrian Gonzalez and Prince Fielder coming through as hoped, and less-heralded names like Jay Bruce, Hunter Pence, Mike Stanton and Jhonny Peralta exceeding expectations -- and of late their troublesome starting pitching has finally come around, led by the lefty likes of Ricky Romero and David Price. The 'Licts also have developed one of the SBL's strongest bullpens, anchored by the surprising Drew Storen and Brandon League and trade acquisition Jonathan Papelbon. Add it all up and you have a well-rounded team that appears to be in this for the long haul. The Derelicts' 2.13 ERA was the league's second-best this week (as was last week's 1.95), and they rang up the week's second-best HR (12) and RBI (43) totals, not to mention the No. 1 OBP (.385). The latter stat was fueled by what we believe to be a single-week league record of 40 walks . . . and THAT total was fueled by an outrageous 14 walks on Tuesday, which we're thinking has to be a one-day record as well. . . . The CVBs, meanwhile, continue to roll up big hitting numbers (43 runs, 12 HRs, 7 SBs, .381) behind the slugging likes of Miguel Cabrera, Dan Uggla, Jacoby Ellsbury, Lance Berkman, J.J. Hardy and Alex Gordon, complemented by a serviceable rotation anchored by Clayton Kershaw, Colby Lewis and Jeremy Hellickson. . . . There was also a detectable pulse in the American division race, for the first time in a while, as the Zero's -- still the Best Team In Ball by a comfortable margin at 86-44 -- remained stuck in neutral, posting a third consecutive 3-3 week -- and this time the runners-up Moaners were able to take a three-game bite out of the Z's formidable lead by churning out enough offense (13 HRs, 48 TB, 36 runs, 36 BI) to overcome their typically execrable pitching (4.54 ERA, 1.58 BR, .77 Ks). Still, the M's and the third-place Bammers (4-2) have a ways to go to make things truly exciting, trailing the Zero's by eight and 12 games, respectively, as we head into the home stretch, with 32 games left to play.

Week 21 standings

AMERICAN DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Zero's (3-3).................86...44....662....--
Moaners (6-0)..............78...52....600.....8
Bammers (4-2).............74...56....569....12
Badgers (1-5)..............54...76....415....32
Barristers (2-4)............40...90....308....46
Puny Pontiffs (0-6)........27..103....208....59
NATIONAL DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Godfathers (3-3)..........77...53....592....--
Derelicts (6-0).............76...54....585.....1
Inmates (3-3)..............76...54....585.....1
Bombers (5-1).............73...57....562.....4
DamianUnited (1-5).......65...65....500....12
Whiteskins (2-4)..........54...76....415....23

PaulO's Notes: Week 21

A fairly wretched week for these three. The Z's had a tragic week from their bullpen, which surrendered more ER (12) in 6.2 IP than did their SPs (10) in 34 IP. An 0-5 record in the pen, with 22 BR. Delightfully awful, as Leonard Pinth-Garnell would have put it. The Z's managed a bit of offense, led by the resurgent Ryan Braun, who was 10-for-30 with 10 runs, 7 BI, 3 doubles, 1 triple, 2 homers, 6 steals and 4 walks. ... Team Bat-Face scrounged up a bit of offense despite the continued absence of top pick Hanley "Fourth-Rounder in 2012" Ramirez and 2B Brian Roberts, who missed all but the first month. Sketchy pitching, however, including four hit batsmen. Maybe the Barrister hurlers are going all Carlos Zambrano, out of frustration. ... The Holy See was practicing non-violence toward the baseball, putting up one of the feeblest offenses of the season. Didn't help that the club got to the dish 61 fewer times than the Zs because the club has no active 1B; sees its starting 3B losing ABs to Sean Burroughs and is missing No. 1 SS SDrrew and top OF CBeltran. One homer this week, on a Tuesday sub-in by Duda, 2 steals, 13 RBI. ... The Vatican's revolutionary no-save bullpen did what it does, and all this resulted in the waste of some typically solid starting pitching.

SBL Notebook: Week 20

Setting aside, just for a moment, the commissioner's hat and speaking as charter members of the American division, we can only tell the National division congratulations, well done . . . and enough, already! The NL completed an impressive interleague run with a 26-10 thrashing of the AL in Week 20, reaffirming the end of years of AL dominance in IL play. The Nationals finished the interleague portion of the schedule with a 169-119 advantage in games won, with the Americans having prevailed in only two of the eight IL weeks. This stands in stark contrast to trends of recent years -- particularly last season, when the AL went 183-105 in interleague play, the NL winning only one week (and by the slimmest of margins at that, 19-17 in Week 7) and, in Week 18, suffering one of the worst IL routs in SBL history, an almost all-American 34-2 blowout. This year AL teams were left wistfully longing for those halcyon days, after being steamrollered by the depth and strength of a National division with five legitimate pennant contenders. Week 20 was the cherry atop the NL sundae, as three of its representatives -- the Godfathers, the Derelicts and the Cherry Valley Bombers -- went 6-0, only one (DamianUnited) failed to at least break even, and no AL team posted a winning record. Those three unbeaten weeks, coupled with a stuck-in-neutral 3-3 by the Inmates, scrambled and tightened the NL race just a bit. The G-Daddies recaptured first place, a game ahead of the Mental Defectives, with the Double-Ds creeping to within four games of the top, the CVBs six back and DamU still within semi-striking distance, 10 games in arrears. The Bombers' recovery from a 1-12 start is an ongoing feel-good story in Cherry Valley; since those dark days of mid-April along the San Bernardino-Riverside county divide, the Bombers and the Godfathers have posted the best records in the division over the last 18 weeks, 67-44. But the G-Daddies were the most impressive story of this week -- they won all six games with relative ease thanks to league highs of 13 HRs and 7 SBS, plus 41 RBIs and 34 runs (damned efficient work, considering their .310 OBP), and, on the pitching side, the week's best ERA (1.40) and BR stat (.96). The Derelicts (42 runs, 11 HRs, .364, 1.95 ERA, six saves, 1.07 BR) were almost as strong in both disciplines, while the Bombers (12 HRs, 42 BIs, 6 SBs, .359) relied a little more on the offensive elements. . . . The AL race stayed static, with BTIB, the Zero's, going 3-3 for the second consecutive week (again, no AL team did better this week) and tearing another page off the calendar -- the Z's lead the Moaners by 11 games and the Bammers by 13, with only 38 to play.

Week 20 standings

AMERICAN DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Zero's (3-3)................83...41....669....--
Moaners (2-4).............72...52....581....11
Bammers (3-3)............70...54....565....13
Badgers (0-6).............53...71....427....30
Barristers (1-5)...........38...86....306....45
Pontiffs (1-5).............27...97....218....56
NATIONAL DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Godfathers (6-0)..........74...50....597....--
Inmates (3-3)..............73...51....589.....1
Derelicts (6-0).............70...54....565.....4
Bombers (6-0).............68...56....548.....6
DamianUnited (2-4).......64...60....516....10
Whiteskins (3-3)..........52...72....419....22

Free agent draft No. 10

Pre-draft DL moves:
Badgers activate 3B ARodriguez, drop Moustakas
Bammers activate C McCann, drop Hernandez
Derelicts activate SP Oswalt, drop Jimenez
Inmates activate OF Choo, drop Patterson
Zero's activate 1B Morneau, drop Kotchman

1. Popntiffs take OF Constanza, Beltran to DL
2. Barristers take OF Carp, drop Damon
3. Whiteskins take SP Niemann, drop Carmona;
........Taxi: Niemann up, Billingsley down
4. Badgers take OF Belt, Torres to DL
5. Bombers take SP J.Vazquez, drops Matsuzaka;
........Taxi: Vazquez up, G.Gonzalez down
6. DamianUnited take 2B Kipnis, Guillen to DL
7. Derelicts take C Hernandez, drop Posada;
........Taxi: Luebke up, Oswalt down
8. Bammers take OF En.Chavez, drop E.Thames;
........Taxi: Latos up, Zimmerman down
9. Godfathers pass;
........Taxi: Garza up, Hanson down
10. Inmates take 3B Paredes, drop Wigginton
11. Moaners take OF Pagan, drop Fuld;
........Taxi: Lohse up, Humber down
12. Zero's take 2B OCabrera, Uribe to DL

SBL Notebook, Week 19

A contagion of bad pitching swept through the National division, opening a window of opportunity for the American division to actually win an interleague week, and for once the AL managed to scramble through it without breaking anything. Six of the seven worst Week 19 earned-run averages occurred in the NL, and that as much as anything explains the AL's 24-12 victory, its first in an interleague week since a 20-16 verdict way back in Week 7, the first of our eight IL weeks. It was just one of those odd weeks when even normally reliable starting pitchers like CC Sabathia, Johnny Cueto, Alexi Ogando, Ryan Vogelsong, Jeff Karstens and Tommy Hanson got knocked around -- and because all those and several other struggling moundsmen toil for National division clubs, the NL took the brunt of the damage, with five of its six teams posting ERAs of 4.20 or higher. (In a related development, six of the seven worst BR stats also were posted by NL teams.) The best ERA the division could put forward was a mediocre 3.76, and even that wasn't enough to help the second-place Godfathers avoid an 0-6 fate -- not that it cost them much in the standings, since the first-place Inmates could do no better than 1-5, keeping the G-Daddies within two games of the top. Meanwhile, the Derelicts (3-3), DamianUnited (5-1 -- the only winning week by an NL squad) and the Cherry Valley Bombers (3-3) all took advantage of the top two's struggles to bunch things up a bit in the standings, where none of the top five trails by more than eight games. There was also a modicum of movement in the AL race, where a 3-3 hiccup by the Zero's coincided with a 6-0 by the runners-up Moaners and a 5-1 by the third-place Bammers. That tightened the proceedings just a little . . . but not much, with the Moaners still trailing by 10 games and the Bammers 13 back. The Moaners parlayed solid-by-their-meager-standards pitching (3.40 ERA, 4-2, eight saves) and just enough offensive strength (10 HRs, 36 runs, .390 OBP, 7 SBs) into the only 6-0 mark of the week, while the Bammers' success was built on the week's best overall pitching (2.61 ERA, .97 BR, 1.10 K-rate, 4-1, 7 saves), the continuation of a season-long trend. . . . League-wide, offense continues to behave like the stock market, with last week's mega-high followed by this week's trough . . . although still nothing like the paltry numbers we've often seen this season. The league averages for HRs (7.75), runs (33.0) and RBIs (29.9) held in the "respectable" range, though TB (23.5) experienced a significant dip, and there was a smattering of shockingly low OBPs, including the Godfathers' .256 and the Inmates' .264.

Week 19 standings

AMERICAN DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Zero's (3-3)................80...38....678....--
Moaners (6-0).............70...48....593....10
Bammers (5-1)............67...51....568....13
Badgers (3-3)..............53...65....449....27
Barristers (4-2)............37...81....314....43
Pontiffs (3-3)..............26...92....220....54
NATIONAL DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Inmates (1-5)..............70...48....593....--
Godfathers (0-6)..........68...50....576.....2
Derelicts (3-3).............64...54....542.....6
DamianUnited (5-1).......62...56....525.....8
Bombers (3-3).............62...56....525.....8
Whiteskins (0-6)..........49...69....415....21

SBL Notebook, Week 18

Suddenly the league awoke, as if from a dream, to find itself in another time, another place . . . say, around 1998, or 2003, or any year in between. We were back in the chicks-dig-the-longball era, and while the experience is sure to be ephemeral, it certainly was a glorious week, wasn't it? Twelve teams combined to smash 112 home runs, an average of 9.3 per team . . . and six teams reached double figures, the first time all season that half the league has made it to that promised land. Leading the way were the Moaners, whose 15 HRs came within a whisker or two of equaling their total for the previous THREE weeks combined. Then there were the Godfathers, with 13 . . . The Inmates and the Cherry Bombers with 12 each . . . The Zero's and DamianUnited with 10 apiece. This truly was a first-in-flight week for the SBL, at least by this year's modest standards. It wasn't just home runs, either; offense spiked pretty much across the board. The league averages for RBIs and runs were 35 per team, with five totals in the 40s . . . nine of the 12 teams reached the 30s in TB . . . half the league had OBPs of .349 or better. If you weren't hittin' this week, you may as well have stayed home. . . . This was also -- and this surely wasn't a coincidence -- probably the worst pitching week in the SBL this season, with not a single team recording an ERA in the 2s. There were four in the 5s, however; a couple in the 4s, and two more in the high 3s. . . . When the smoke had cleared, the National division had recorded another interleague victory, but at least the American division made it respectable this time, losing only 20-16. That counts as a moral victory for the battered AL, which has won only one of the six interleague weeks contested so far, and just last week got shellacked 28-8. . . . There was also a change at the top of the NL race, where the Inmates rode their Big Fat O (12 HRs, 46 BI, 36 TB, 36 runs, .377) to a 6-0 week that moved them back into first place, a game ahead of the Godfathers, who went 4-2. And, for now at least, those two have separated themselves from the NL pack, with the Derelicts, the Bombers and DamianUnited having dropped back by eight, 10 and 12 games, respectively. . . . The AL race was just more of the same, with the Zero's continuing to roll along without a care in the world, their 5-1 record this week taking them to an remarkable 33-4 in the last six weeks, and to 77-35 overall, keeping them comfortably ensconced as the Best Team In Ball. The Moaners also went 5-1 and hopped over the Bammers into second place . . . but remained a very distant 13 games out of first, with 50 left to play.

Week 18 standings

AMERICAN DIVISION
Team, LW.................W....L....PCT....GB
Zero's (5-1)...............77...35....688....--
Moaners (5-1)............64...48....571....13
Bammers (1-5)...........62...50....554....15
Badgers (0-6).............50...62....446....27
Barristers (2-4)...........33...79....295....44
Pontiffs (3-3).............23...89....205....54
NATIONAL DIVISION
Team, LW.................W....L....PCT....GB
Inmates (6-0).............69...43....616....--
Godfathers (4-2).........68...44....607.....1
Derelicts (2-4)............61...51....545.....8
Bombers (3-3)............59...53....527....10
DamianUnited (1-5)......57...55....509....12
Whiteskins (4-2).........49...63....438....20

Free agent draft No. 9

Pre-draft DL moves:
Barristers: drop 3B Blake
Derelicts: activate OF Kubel, drop Snider

1. Pontiffs take OF Duda, drop Presley;
........Taxi: Danks up, Carrasco down
2. Barristers take OF D.Jennings, drop Pagan;
........Taxi: Myers up, Pineiro down
3. Whiteskins take SS Betancourt, Lowrie to DL
........Taxi: Colon up, Burnett down
4. Badgers take 1B Goldschmidt, drop Huff
........Taxi: Sanchez up, Britton down
5. Bombers take 3B Bonifacio, Rolen to DL
6. DamianUnited take OF MeCabrera, drop Brown
7. Moaners take RP Madson, drop Bastardo
8. Derelicts take 3B Lawrie, drop Alvarez
........Taxi: Marcum up, Luebke down
9. Bammers take C Hernandez, McCann to DL
........Taxi: Zimmerman up, Latos down
10. Inmates take OF Bourgeois, Choo to DL
11. Godfathers take 2B Keppinger, drop S.Rodriguez
12. Zero's take SP Strasburg, Strasburg to DL

Bams Take Desperate Measures

Coming off the SBL ticker tape (We're f*ing old school around here):

"The Bammers send SP Haren and 2B Walker to Pontiffs for SP Latos and 2B Cano"

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The Pontiffs, the abyss of the league, heard the cries of the fast-approaching Bams and sent up its last surviver, Robinson Cano, to help right the Bams' beleagured mancraft.

It's a risky move for the Bams, who trade SP Dan Haren and 2B Neil Walker, two of the team's most consistent players. For the Pontiffs, strictly a cash dump. Cano wanted too much to re-sign.

Also, why hasn't this league considered "keeper" players? Or has it?

SBL Notebook, Week 17

It's tempting to declare this a no-harm no-foul week, but the truth of the matter is, there was a LOT of harm inflicted in Week 17 -- almost all of it administered by the National division and absorbed by the American division, whose constituents were left in a mood most foul. The Nationals, who decisively won the first interleague interlude (Weeks 7-10), began the second four-week IL period with their most dominant performance yet, walloping the Americans by a 28-8 count. Leading the NL onslaught were the ever-mercurial Whiteskins, the division cellar dwellers who, oddly enough, posted the only 6-0 record for the week, riding some outsized offense (49 TB, 44 RBI, 7 SBs) and lights-out pitching (2.35 ERA, 1.27 K-ratio). The no-harm no-foul part of the equation applies to the NL race -- because no team in the division went worse than 4-2, there was very little change in the standings, with the Godfathers maintaining their one-game lead over the Inmates, and the Derelicts, DamianUnited and the Cherry Valley Bombers bunched in third through fifth places, separated by only three games. The other division race, however, grew only more one-sided, because the Zero's, Best Team In Ball for nearly a month now, were the lone AL entry to survive the week with their dignity fully intact, losing only to JP in a 5-1 run that inflated their lead to 11 games over the Bammers -- whose 2-4 mark represented the best the rest of the division could muster. Elsewhere it was total mass humiliation -- the other four AL teams getting their collective clocks cleaned to the tune of a combined 1-23. Sheesh. . . . The NL was just too good everywhere you looked, mashing 55 HRs (a robust 9.2 per team) to the AL's puny 35; averaging an impressive 37 RBIs (to the AL's 28) and 33 TBs (to 28) per team; and posting four ERAs of 3.35 or better, no BR stat higher than 1.25 and no K-rate lower than .85. No NL team was less than good, and if they had been playing amongst themselves, it might've been downright cannibalistic. But facing the overmatched AL, it was simply a bloodbath. Better luck next week, Junior Circuit.

Week 17 standings

AMERICAN DIVISION
Team, LW...................W....L....PCT....GB
Zero's (5-1)..................72...34....679....--
Bammers (2-4)..............61...45....575....11
Moaners (1-5)...............59...47....557....13
Badgers (0-6)................50...56....472....22
Barristers (0-6)..............31...75....292....41
Puny Pontiffs (0-6)..........20...86....189....52
NATIONAL DIVISION
Team, LW...................W....L....PCT....GB
Godfathers (4-2)...........64...42....604....--
Inmates (4-2)...............63...43....594.....1
Derelicts (5-1)..............59...47....557.....5
DamianUnited (5-1)........56...50....528.....8
Bombers (4-2)...............56...50....528.....8
Whiteskins (6-0)............45...61....425....19

PaulO's Note: Week 17

Some notes (somebody must be on vacation) ... Some quirks from the puny pod. All three clubs round off to a 1.17 BR pitching stat. Odds of that must be long. To be exact: For the Jurists, 1.1679; for the Vatican, 1.1707; for the Z's, 1.1748. ... For the second week (not) running, the Holy See stole zero bags. Taking seriously that Seventh Commandment in papal lands. ... Z's offense fell of steeply from recent weeks, but rallied to get to mediocrity in the Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday "weekend" of the new and loathed sked. ... The revivied Bristow offense, led by Dustin Ackley (who knew?) is not awful, aside from the two dingers. Valencia has helped at 3B, too. ... Not that the D-Popes have had some bad luck, but they drafted this Presley guy (from Tupelo, Miss?) on Thursday and by the next day he was on the DL. Also, SDrew broke something or other (those Drew boys must not have gotten enough iron in their diets), reducing the club to Alcides Escobar at SS (who hits in the 9 hole for the Royals for a reason), but he is losing time to the backup DPope 3B, MAviles, who is just back from Triple A and sucks pretty hard, too. Also, Kirk Gibson down in AZ apparently thinks a 3B with pop like Ryan Roberts isn't something he really needs, and Roberts played only five games. Mauer went dead again, till Wednesday, when he hit his first homer of the season! And it took the SBL draft's No. 15 pick only till July 27 to get it! ...The Z's were helped by Eric Hosmer (6 runs, 8 BI, 13-for-29 with 1 walk, 4 doubles, 1 big fly and 1 steal) and by Li'l Dustin Pedroia (8 runs, 3 BI, 14-for-27, 2 walks, 2 doubles, 1 triple, 1 dinger, 2 bags). ... Oh, and the papacy got their first "save" since Week 12 (hmm, Jonathan PAPEL-bon?), which seems like a pretty low save total for a worldwide religious organization. Thanks, Mitchell Boggs, for showing up, three months later.

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This from a man recently recouping in the United States after time abroad. The SBL Blog thanks him for making time while he lounges somewhere in the LBC, drinking caffiene-free soda (during the day).

Bammers Lookin' To Deal

A (really) quick note from the owner of the Bammers:

"I have pitching, looking for bats.
Felix Hernandez, masterson, haren, norris, zimmerman can be had."

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Looks like the Bams, two weeks removed from their place atop the American Division, are hitting panic button after going 0-7 last week. Crisis-management team assemble!

2011 SBL Rosters (Updated)

BADGERS
C: Posey (27), Y.Molina (274)
1B: Pujols (1), Huff (170)
2B: Phillips (53), Barney (300)
SS: Reyes (40), Brignac (222)
3B: Moustakas (S), Betemit (S)
OF: B.Upton (118), Quentin (144), A.Torres (145), Wells (157), Morrison (209), A.Soriano (S)
SP: Cahill (92), J.Sanchez (105), J.Chacin (183), Shields (248), Bumgarner (taxi 1)
Taxi: B. Anderson (131), Britton (T-24)
RP: Feliz (66), M.Rivera (79), Melancon (S), D.Hernandez (S)
DL: 3B A.Rodriguez (14), OF Craig (S)

PONTIFFS
C: Mauer (15), Martin (171)
1B: Hafner (S), Wallace (S)
2B: Cano (2), Kennedy (S)
SS: S.Drew (106), Al.Escobar (289)
3B: Aviles (S), R.Roberts (T)
OF: Ethier (54), Markakis (133), G.Jones (210), Beltran (223), Morse (S), Presley (S)
SP: Verlander (41), Scherzer (93), Latos (119), E.Jackson (262), Carrasco (S)
Taxi: Danks (146), Porcello (T-23)
RP: R.Soriano (197), Clippard (236), Boggs (S), Lyon (T)
DL: OF G.Sizemore (132)

BARRISTERS
C: V.Martinez (55), Hundley (276)
1B: Loney (172), Helton (S)
2B: B.Roberts (147), Ackley (S)
SS: H.Ramirez (3), Theriot (250)
3B: Wright (16), Valencia (S)
OF: Hart (81), Hunter (120), Swisher (134), Pagan (185), Damon (S), Ludwick (S)
SP: Halladay (29), Cl.Lee (42), Greinke (121), Nolasco (198), Pineiro (T-22)
Taxi: Myers (224), T.Wood (T-3)
RP: B.Wilson (68), Nathan (94), Meek (277), Santos (S)
DL: 3B Blake (S)

GODFATHERS
C: Napoli (238), Lucroy (S)
1B: B.Butler (108), Lind (122)
2B: A.Hill (109), S.Rodriguez (265)
SS: Desmond (148), E.Aybar (212)
3B: Longoria (4), Headley (264)
OF: Hamilton (17), J.Upton (43), Heyward (56), Bourn (160), Francoeur (S), Cuddyer (S)
SP: Lincecum (30), Hanson (69), Cain (82), Beckett (225), Cueto (S)
Taxi: Garza (173), Peavy (T-4)
RP: C.Perez (95), Lidge (186), F.Francisco (199), Farnsworth (S)

DAMIANUNITED
C: Montero (187), Olivo (279)
1B: Dunn (31), D.Ortiz (123)
2B: K.Johnson (70), C.Guillen (S)
SS: Tulowitzki (5), Pennington (266)
3B: M.Reynolds (110), Figgins (213)
OF: Holliday (18), I.Suzuki (97), Prado (253), Boesch (S), D.Brown (S), N.Cruz (T)
SP: Weaver (57), D.Hudson (161), C.Wilson (239), Worley (S), Karstens (S)
Taxi: Dempster (T), Narveson (S)
RP: F.Cordero (96), Bailey (149), Capps (200), Adams (S)
DL: SP J.Johnson (44)

INMATES
C: Buck (175), Saltalamacchia (241)
1B: Konerko (58), G.Sanchez (214)
2B: R.Weeks (45), Utley (162)
SS: A.Gonzalez (111), Furcal (S)
3B: McGehee (98), Wigginton (S)
OF: C.Gonzalez (6), Kemp (19), Choo (32), Bourjos (280), Byrd (293), Patterson (S)
SP: Morrow (150), Stauffer (201), E.Santana (240), Ogando (S), Vogelsong (S)
Taxi: Buchholz (124), Pineda (T-6)
RP: Marmol (71), Street (84), F.Rodriguez (85), Parnell (S)

BAMMERS
C. McCann (59), Torrealba (281)
1B: Votto (7), Freeman (215)
2B: N.Walker (151), Espinosa (242)
SS: A.Ramirez (112), M.Izturis (S)
3B: R.Zimmerman (20), Polanco (255)
OF: McCutchen (46), Stubbs (73), Rasmus (138), Ad.Jones (176), Thames (S), Reddick (S)
SP: F.Hernandez (33), Hamels (72), Haren (86), J.Garcia (163), Masterson (S)
Taxi: J.Zimmerman (189), Norris (S)
RP: Kimbrel (99), Putz (125), Sale (228), Bard (S)

MOANERS
C: K.Suzuki (100), Avila (S)
1B: Teixeira (8), Trumbo (S)
2B: Kinsler (34), Infante (217)
SS: Rollins (47), Scutaro (177)
3B: Youkilis (21), Freese (282)
OF: C.Young (60), V.Guerrero (126), Victorino (152), S.Smith (256),Fuld (S), Brantley (S)
SP: Carpenter (74), Liriano (113), W.Rodriguez (139), Jurrjens (T-17), Humber (S)
Taxi: Zambrano (243), Lohse (S)
RP: Soria (61), Valverde (87), Walden (S), Bastardo (S)
DL: RP Aardsma (216)

DERELICTS
C: Wieters (127), Posada (205)
1B: Ad.Gonzalez (9), Fielder (22)
2B: Kendrick (140), Turner (S)
SS: S.Castro (155), Peralta (231)
3B: M.Young (114), P.Alvarez (T)
OF: Bruce (35), Pence (48), Stanton (62), Ibanez (218), Willingham (270), Snider (S)
SP: Jimenez (49), Price (75), Romero (191), Collmenter (S), Luebke (S)
Taxi: Marcum (153), Tomlin (S)
RP: Storen (101), League (204), Rauch (244), Papelbon (T)
DL: OF Kubel (257), SP Oswalt (88)

BOMBERS
C: Pierzynski (297), C. Santana (T)
1B: M.Cabrera (10), C.Pena (S)
2B: Uggla (23), O.Hudson (232)
SS: Jeter (115), Hardy (S)
3B: Beltre (50), Rolen (192)
OF: Werth (36), Ellsbury (89), B.Abreu (128), A.Gordon (258), Berkman (S), Joyce (S)
SP: Kershaw (37), C.Lewis (141), Hellickson (154), G.Gonzalez (179), Baker (S)
Taxi: McClellan (10), Matsuzaka (15)
RP: Axford (76), Thornton (102), McGee (192), Isringhausen (S)
DL: 1B I.Davis (219)

WHITESKINS
C: Arencibia (233), Ruiz (Tr)
1B: Howard (24), Moreland (220)
2B: Beckham (155), J.Weeks (S)
SS: Andrus (64), Lowrie (S)
3B: Sandoval (116), C.Jones (259)
OF: Crawford (11), Granderson (142), Zobrist (167), Ca.Lee (180), Del.Young (T), Da.Murphy (S)
SP: Sabathia (51), Billingsley (129), Kuroda (181), A.Burnett (T-14), T.Hudson (T)
Taxi: Carmona (285), Colon (S)
RP: Bell (38), Fuentes (246), Salas (S), Guerra (S)
DL: RP Broxton (90)

ZERO'S
C: Iannetta (182), Soto (S)
1B: Morneau (65), Hosmer (S)
2B: Pedroia (26), Uribe (273)
SS: Y.Escobar (78), As.Cabrera (247)
3B: A.Ramirez (78), Encarnacion (221)
OF: Braun (12), J.Bautista (13), Gardner (91), A.Jackson (143), R. Davis (S), C.Ross (S)
SP: Lester (39), Gallardo (52), Kennedy (234), An.Sanchez (T-12), Beachy (S)
Taxi: Bedard (169), Hughes (156)
RP: Nunez (104), Uehara (117), Hanrahan (168), Gregg (195)

SBL Notebook, Week 16

What just happened? Here we had this nice little race going in the American division, we looked away for just a few seconds, and the Zero's turned around and hijacked the damn thing. The Z's kept on partying like it was 1999 on the offensive side of things, the Bammers were betrayed by their normally resolute pitching, and just like that, we saw a 7-0/0-7 swing that inflated the Zero's lead over the second-place Bammers from one game to eight. The Z's, almost alone among SBL teams, seemingly did not get the memo about this being the Era of the Pitcher, as they continue to mash like McGwire and Sosa and Bonds at their roid-ragin' peak. The Zero's slugged 11 home runs this week, to go with the 13 they launched last week and the 16 they pounded the week before that. They've also averaged 38 RBIs, 37 runs and, for good measure, 8 SBs in that three-week stretch. This isn't supposed to be happening in this diminished day and age, so we can only speculate that perhaps there is no PED testing in the United Arab Emirates, current home base for the Z's. Or maybe the UAE has been sucked into some giant time-warp vortex thing, causing the Z's hitters -- most notably Jose Bautista, Ryan Braun, Aramis Ramirez and Dustin Pedroia -- to believe and behave as though it’s 2001, not 2011. It took the Z's a little while to get going -- they were 7-12 after three weeks, at which point they already trailed the Bammers by 11 games -- but there's been no stopping them since during a 60-21 roll over the last 13 weeks that has carried them to the best record in ball (67-33), by an ever-widening margin. They’re 13-0 the last two weeks and 28-4 over the last five, during which time they’ve turned a nine-game deficit into an eight-game lead over the Bams . . . While the rise of the Zero's from near-worst to first in the AL (and the corresponding slide of the Bammers, who started 18-1) serves as a bracing reminder to avoid putting too much stock in early-season results, it is not the only rags-to-riches tale at work in the SBL this year. The National division has witnessed a similar recovery by the Cherry Valley Bombers, who broke last out of the gate at 3-16 through three weeks, but have steadily risen from the depths of despair to legit contention in the NL race. A league-high 15 HRs and league-low 1.14 ERA did the trick for them this week in a 6-1 performance (only the bad luck of having to face the Zero's prevented them from going 7-0) that lifted them above .500 for the first time all season, and to within eight games of the new NL front-runners, the Godfathers. (Side note: That makes 56 home runs in the last four weeks for the power-mad Bombers.) The G-Daddies also went 6-1 (losing only to the CVBs) and evicted the Inmates from the penthouse, where the Mental Defectives had resided since Week 11. The ’Mates trail by one game, then it’s five more back to the Derelicts and another two to the Bombers, who jumped over DamianUnited into fourth place. . . . And while we're on the subject of the CVBs’ rise to respectability, take a snapshot of this week's standings. The Bombers' ascension to 52-48 means that only three of our 12 teams currently sport losing records, and that's something you rarely see this far into the season, or at any point in any season. Speaks well for competitive balance, particularly in the NL, where any of five teams could win the division crown. Well done, everyone!

Week 16 standings

AMERICAN DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Zero's (7-0).................67...33....670....--
Bammers (0-7).............59...41....590.....8
Moaners (5-2)..............58...42....580.....9
Badgers (1-6)..............50...50....500....17
Barristers (2-5)............31...69....310....36
Pontiffs (5-2)..............20...80....200....47
NATIONAL DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Godfathers (6-1)..........60...40....600....--
Inmates (3-4)..............59...41....590.....1
Derelicts (2-5).............54...46....540.....6
Bombers (6-1).............52...48....520.....8
DamianUnited (2-5).......51...49....510.....9
Whiteskins (3-4)..........39...61....390....21

Free agent draft No. 8

Pre-draft DL moves:
Pontiffs: drop 1B LaPorta
Whitekins: drop RP Sanchez
Badgers: drop RP Chapman
Godfathers: activate RP Lidge, drop RPs Alburquerque and Pestano
Zero's: drop C Barajas

1. Pontiffs take OF A.Presley, Sizemore to DL
2. Barristers take 1B Helton, drop LaRoche
........Taxi: Pineiro up, T.Wood down
3. Whitekins take RP Guerra, Broxton to DL
........Taxi: A.Burnett up, Colon down
4. Bombers take RP Isringhausen, drop S.Burnett
5. DamianUnited take 2B C.Guillen, drops J.Lopez;
........Taxi: Worley up, Dempster down
6. Badgers take 3B Betemit, Rodriguez to DL
7. Derelicts take OF Snider, drop Blackmon;
........Taxi: Collmenter up, Tomlin down
8. Moaners take 1B Trumbo, drop Smoak
9. Godfathers pass
10. Inmates take RP Parnell, drop Madson;
........Taxi: Morrow up, Pineda down
11. Bammers take OF Reddick, drop Me.Cabrera;
........Taxi: Masterson up, J.Zimmerman down
12. Zero's take OF C.Ross, drop J.Drew

Schedule Change!

From the Office of the Commish:

"As we agreed to do before the season, this coming week is when we switch over to a Thursday-to-Wednesday schedule to bring ourselves into line with MLB, whose season began on a Thursday and will end on a Wednesday. The last 11 weeks of our season will begin Thursday and end the following Wednesday. As abhorrent as this is to all us balding graybeard traditionalists, it was forced on us by MLB’s unconscionable break from tradition in deciding the season would end midweek instead of on a Sunday. . . . Our schedule change also means that the last five supplemental drafts will be conducted on Thursdays, beginning with draft No. 8, on the docket for next Thursday July 21."

SBL Notebook, Week 15

We’ve reached the All-Star break, a nice little three-day cooling-off period offering us the collective opportunity to catch our breath, or simply take one, as the case may be. Not that our pennant races show any signs of cooling, but they can stand to wait a few days too . . . we know they’ll still be there when we get back. What we’ll find when play resumes Thursday is a hot and heavy American division race, featuring the two best teams in ball at the moment, separated by only one game . . . and a National division chase with the second-, third-and fourth-place teams only two, four and seven games out of first, and even the fifth-place entry a manageable 10 games back. AL leaders the Zero’s continued their recent power surge with 13 homers (that makes 29 in the last two weeks), 41 runs and 35 RBIs, and rode that, plus some presentable pitching, to a 5-1 record. They were trumped, however, by the Bammers, who snapped out of their recent funk with a 6-0 week built on the sturdy foundation that has propped up the House of Bam all season—lights-out pitching, to the tune of a 6-0 WL and 1.67 ERA. The remarkable thing here is that those numbers really aren’t all that remarkable for the Bammers this year; they’ve actually had lower ERAs . . . several of them. Honest. So, the Z’s lead was shaved to one game over the BBs, then it’s another six back to the Moaners, and four more after that to the Badgers, who’ve been bitten by the same injury bug that afflicted the Godfathers earlier in the season. No sooner did the Badgers welcome back No. 1 overall draft pick Albert Pujols from his much-shorter-than-expected DL stint, then his second- and fourth-round picks, Alex Rodriguez and Jose Reyes, were shelved by disabling injuries . . . joining his third-rounder, Buster Posey, who’s out for the year. If it wasn’t for bad luck, Andy wouldn’t have any luck at all. . . . The Inmates maintained their grip on first place in the NL despite a second consecutive 2-4 week, as the teams below them continued to jockey for position. The Godfathers also went 2-4 to stay two games back, while the Derelicts rediscovered their prolific hitting to go 5-1 and jump into third place over DamianUnited, who suffered their second 0-6 boo-boo in the last three weeks. Meanwhile, the Cherry Valley Bombers continued their slow, steady recovery from a 1-12 start, going 4-2 (17 HRs and 40 helped a lot) to climb within a game of .500 – and within 10 of first place.

Week 15 standings

AMERICAN DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Zero's (5-1)................60...33....645....--
Bammers (6-0)............59...34....634.....1
Moaners (2-4).............53...40....570.....7
Badgers (2-4).............49...44....529....11
Barristers (3-3)...........29...64....312....31
Puny Pontiffs (0-6).......15...78....161....45
NATIONAL DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Inmates (2-4)..............56...37....602....--
Godfathers (2-4)..........54...39....581.....2
Derelicts (5-1).............52...41....569.....4
DamianUnited (0-6).......49...44....529.....7
Bombers (4-2).............46...47....495....10
Whiteskins (5-1)..........36...57....387....20

Sun-sational Six (Week 14)

Now on the downside of the SBL season, it looks like anyone's game unless you're a judge or a pontiff. But clearly the high-and-mighty are the old, old guard, especially as it relates to the SS-list. Here's the Sun-Sational for this week:

1. Zeroes (last week's ranking: 2): We don't like to brag, but early on in this game, the list touted Paulo's squad because of its balance between offense and pitching. While the Zeroes' offense has been Abu Dubai hot of late, the pitching still looks fierce, making the Zeroes the team to beat during the second half. Praise Allah.

2. Bammers (last week's ranking: 4): The list has been pretty tough on the BGoffs' proclivity for Pirates and Nationals, but there's no disputing the dominant pitching he has enjoyed all season. The Bammers may have to change their nickname to reflect the best rotation in ball -- we're thinking the Slingers. No matter what you call 'em, they can hurl.

3. Inmates (last week's ranking: 1): We're thinking the GrandPattons have just hit a little midseason swoon, but for an old guy, there's no doubt this squad has something left in the tank. He'll need it as every team in the Nationals is a threat in the second half, but there's no reason for the Inmates to get nervous -- yet.

4. Godfathers (last week's ranking: 3): The swooning seems to be a little contagious at the top of the National Division, but again, this team looks like it's built for the long haul. No worries, Vic. Pay no attention to those Derelicts or Damians growing closer in your rearview mirror. Keep those eyes on the road, grandpa.

5. Moaners (last week's ranking: 6): We can do all the moaning for Mikee's boys in their uphill battle to catch the Slingers and Zeroes. Certainly, it won't be easy to become a playoff team in this division, but we've seen the magic of the Moaners in the past. Sounds like a bad Cinemax late-nighter for sure. Stay tuned.

6. Derelicts (last week's ranking: 5): Definitely has some momentum going into the second half to become a playoff contender. The Way-Up-There-Northerners have tons of talent at the dish and off the rubber. They have 12 more weeks to put it all together against some very experienced frontrunners.

SBL Notebook, Week 14

Pardon the overwrought patriotic allusion, but what more appropriate way to mark Independence Day than with revolutionary upheaval . . . and bombs bursting in air . . . in the American division? Loosely translated, the SBL experienced an overthrow at the top of the AL standings, fueled by home run fireworks. It was a very happy ID4, indeed, for the Zero's -- ironically the only SBL team whose owner resides on distant shores outside the borders of this great nation of ours. The Z's rode the homer-happiest offense in a relatively homer-happy week to a 6-0 performance and supplanted longtime residents the Bammers from the AL penthouse. The Bams had been in first place from Day 1 through Week 13, the entire first half of the season, but their lead, 11 games as recently as Week 10, dwindled steadily in June, and they were felled from their pedestal as July dawned, a 2-4 stumble landing them in second place, two games behind the new front-runners. The mighty Zero's' prodigious offense smashed and dashed its way to 16 HRs, 40 RBIs, 33 runs, 31 TB, 8 SBs and a .371 OBP -- across-the-board strength sufficient to overcome some of the week's most incendiary pitching (league-worst 5.32 ERA, 1-4 WL, 1.29 BR) without breaking a sweat. Also acquired as a result of their big week was the exalted Best Team In Ball status -- at 55-32, the Zero's are one game better than the NL-leading Inmates . . . which makes them the third BTIB we've had in the last three weeks. . . . The Inmates stumbled a bit in a 2-4 week but, because one of their wins was over the second-place Godfathers, the Mental Defectives actually doubled their division lead, to two games. The G-Daddies, who went 1-5, can't get too comfortable in the runner-up spot, either, with resurgent DamianUnited staging a rear-guard action that resulted in their leapfrogging the Derelicts into third place, five games behind the Inmates and three back of the G's. DamU, rebounding nicely from last week's 0-6 pratfall, went 5-1 on the strength of 15 HRs, 33 BIs and some outstanding pitching (2.20 ERA, 6 saves, .94 BR). The only team to beat them was the cellar-dwelling Whiteskins, whose pitching was even better (microscopic 1.27 ERA, 5-1, .95 BR), and who would've gone 6-0 themselves if not for the misfortune of having to play the Zero's, the only AL team that could've beaten them, in their interleague matchup. . . . Both pennant races remained quite competitive, with the top three teams in each division separated by only four games (AL) and five (NL). However, two season-long contenders, the Badgers and the Derelicts, suffered simultaneous 0-6 mini-meltdowns that dropped them into fourth place, eight and seven games, respectively, out of first. . . . As mentioned above, there was a detectable dinger uptick, the 12 teams combining to hit 102 homers, an average of 8.6 per team, and 20 more than the league managed last week. Doing the most to skew the stat northward were the Zero's, DamU and the Cherry Valley Bombers, who combined for 41 circuit clouts, 40% of the total.

Week 14 standings

AMERICAN DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Zero's (6-0)................55...32....632....--
Bammers (2-4)............53...34....609.....2
Moaners (5-1).............51...36....586.....4
Badgers (0-6).............47...40....540.....8
Barristers (4-2)...........26...61....299....29
Pontiffs (2-4).............15...72....208....40
NATIONAL DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Inmates (2-4)..............54...33....621....--
Godfathers (1-5)..........52...35....598.....2
DamianUnited (5-1).......49...38....563.....5
Derelicts (0-6).............47...40....540.....7
Bombers (4-2).............42...45....483....12
Whiteskins (5-1)..........31...56....356....23

Free agent draft No. 7

Pre-draft DL moves:
Barristers: 3B Blake to DL
Derelicts: SP Oswalt to DL
Badgers: RP Chapman to DL
Zero's: 1B Morneau to DL, activate SP Hughes
Godfathers: RP Albuquerque to DL

1. Pontiffs take SP Carrasco, drop Santana;
........Taxi: Carrasco up, Danks down
2. Barristers take 3B Valencia
3. Whiteskins take OF Dan.Murphy, drop Bloomquist;
........Taxi: Hudson up, Burnett down
4. Bombers take SP Baker, drop Lilly
5. DamianUnited take SP Worley, drop Happ;
6. Moaners take RP Bastardo, drop Venters
7. Derelicts take SP Luebke;
........Taxi: Luebke & Jimenez up, Collmenter & Marcum down
8. Badgers take RP Da.Hernandez
9. Zero's take 1B Kotchman; drop SP DeLaRosa;
........Taxi: Beachy up, Bedard down
10. Bammers take OF E.Thames, drop Crisp
11. Godfathers take RP Pestano;
........Taxi: Hanson up, Garza down
12. Inmates take SS Furcal, drop Betancourt;
........Taxi: Santana up, Buchholz down

Sun-sational Six (Week 13)

When we last left you in Week Whatever, the coronation of the BGoffs was pretty much a certainty, and everyone else was pretty well playing for second place.

How times change when the S-list goes away for months at a time. Surprise, surprise.

Without further do-do, here's this week's top half-dozen:

1. Patton Inmates (Last ranking: partly crabby): Hate to go with the easy simile, but the Inmates have simply gone crazy since the last update. Their record is something like something good and something pretty small. I know, impressive. Got to give the PI's credit for pitching and hitting, but not so much defense. The details are in the stats, people.

2. Zeroes (Last ranking: fairly foreign): Told you guys this team would be pretty good, which was after it had faltered, gotten good, did OK and then did just all right. Paulo's squad looks primed to knock off the BGoffs from their top perch in Week 14, but we don't want to get ahead of ourselves. We'll just revel in the Zeroe's greatness for the time being.

3. Godfathers (Last ranking: Texan through and through): Still not sure how the G-daddies do it, but they are just damn good week after week. Not sure they will have enough names to overtake the Inmates in the second half, but the G-papas sure have the look of a playoff team, unless the Pontiffs give the Derelicts more great players for nothing.

4. BGoffs (Last ranking: Perfectly Pittsburgh-ian): Somebody forgot to tell Brian this sport has nothing to do with the Steelers, but he's done pretty well for himself having two Pittsburgh players in his lineup all season. Actually, the impressive part of the Bammers have been their pitchers, and that might just carry them to a playoff spot in the second half.

5. Derelicts (Last ranking: Northern lit): We raise our Bics to the Derelicts, who not only are in the mix for a playoff spot in the best division in baseball (hey, one-out-of-two ain't bad), but also have shored up a pretty stout club with some incredible trades. Now, if we could just get him to quit cheering for those loser Mariners. Oh well.

6. Moaners (Last ranking: Positively moan-a-rific): No doubt this distresses, Mikee, getting named to the best of the best. "But I'm sneaking up on everyone and working my way to the top of the division," Mike moans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We see you comin', Commish, and you're right. It ain't pretty. Thanks for the visual.

SBL Notebook, Week 13

We've reached the halfway point in the season, numerically if not chronologically (MLB's new midweek start ensured that the real-world season won't reach its midpoint until the middle of this week), and 81 games in, it's almost anybody's ballgame. The division races are a beautiful mess, with eight teams solidly in the picture, fortunes ebbing and flowing depending on who's hot and who’s not at a particular moment in time, last week's Cinderella turning into this week's pumpkin, and then back again. The two hottest teams in Weeks 11-12, DamianUnited and the Moaners, tripped on a crack in the sidewalk this week, and now it's the Godfathers and the Zero's who are on the ascension after going 6-0 and 5-1, respectively, to tighten the division races like braces on a middle schooler's teeth. Blessed with a talented and versatile roster but cursed by injuries much of the season, the now-fully-functional G-Daddies got it all together and scorched the earth with perhaps the most dominant 6-0 week we've seen all year. A big hitting week in which they ranked first or second in the league in five categories (40 RBI, 36 runs, .387 OBP, 37 TB, 9 HR) was complemented by lights-out pitching (1.40 ERA, .98 BR, 1.09 Ks, 5-1), resulting in a Sherman-through-Georgia march that left body parts hanging from tree limbs -- three 10-1 blowouts and no other game closer than 8-3. The 6-0 surge lifted the GFs to within one game of the National division-leading Inmates, who held their own with a 4-2 mark grounded in some pretty impressive pitching of their own (2.25 ERA, 6 saves, 1.03 BR). Meanwhile, the Derelicts (2-4) and DamU (0-6) fell back to five and eight games out, respectively. . . . Good pitching was a recurring theme this week, with eight sub-3.00 ERAs and, even more remarkably, four under 2.00. The best of them all, and in fact the best ERA seen in the SBL all season, was the 1.18 posted by the Zero's, who also had six saves, a 1.09 BR and .98 K-rate and rode it all to within two games of the first-place Bammers -- the closest to the top the Z's have been all season, and the closest any American division team has been to the Bams since Week 5. The Bammers, who started 13-0 and 18-1 and have occupied the AL catbird seat from the get-go, had their own sterling ERA (1.45) to brag about, but all it got them was a hard-luck 2-4 week that included two 6-5 losses and a 6.5-4.5. The four defeats also cost them the Best Team In Ball status they'd clung to all season; the Mental Defectives took possession of the coveted yellow jersey at 52-29, with the Bammers and Godfathers sharing the runner-up spot at 51-30. . . . Another team on the rise, albeit intermittently, has been the Cherry Valley Bombers, whose best-o’-week 14 HRs, not to mention 37 RBI, 35 runs and 1.98 ERA, were the key ingredients in a 5-1 week. The Bombers had a disastrous start -- 1-12 and 3-16 -- but since Week 3 they've gone a respectable 35-27, moved to within five games of .500 and become, more often than not, a Team You Don't Want To Play. At 14 games behind the Inmates and 13 back of the second-place Godfathers, the CVBs face a long hard climb to get into playoff contention, but stranger things have happened.

Week 13 standings

AMERICAN DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Bammers (2-4)............51...30....630....--
Zero's (5-1)................49...32....605.....2
Badgers (4-2).............47...34....580.....4
Moaners (2-4).............46...35....568.....5
Barristers (5-1)...........22...59....272....29
Puny Pontiffs (0-6).......13...68....160....38
NATIONAL DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Inmates (4-2)..............52...29....642....--
Godfathers (6-0)..........51...30....630.....1
Derelicts (2-4).............47...34....580.....5
DamianUnited (0-6).......44...37....543.....8
Bombers (5-1).............38...43....469....14
Whiteskins (1-5)..........26...55....321....26

Trade, Pre-Draft DL Rules

From the Office of the Commish...

"We have a reminder to pass along on the subject of trades –- they are not permitted on draft days. Any trades made leading into a supplemental draft must be completed, and the commissioner’s office notified, by the Sunday night before the draft. . . . And what the heck, as long as we’re sending out notices, here’s another, on the subject of DL moves: When an SBL owner activates a player from his DL, necessitating that he drop someone to create a roster spot at that player’s position, that move must be made no later than Sunday evening before a supplemental draft. That way, the rest of the league can be notified in advance of the draft that the player being dropped will be available in the draft pool."

SBL Notebook, Week 12

DamianUnited and the Moaners, division champions last season but fourth-place also-rans and fifth wheels in the NL/AL chases for most of this one, have rather suddenly elbowed their way into contention in what is turning into a compelling pair of come-one, come-all divisional races. Employing diametrically opposite methods, DamU and the M’s both arrived at the same 7-0 Week 12 destination, leaving us with the following unusual but highly desirable situation: Eight quasi-contending teams (four in each division), all at least 11 games over .500, none more than six games out of first place. While the Damned United remain in fourth place -- despite going 13-0 the last two weeks, 18-1 the last three and 22-3 the last four -- they now are 44-31 and only four games behind the National division-leading the Inmates (seven games closer to the top than DamU was just three weeks earlier), and only one game back of the runners-up Godfathers and the Derelicts. The Moaners, who as recently as Week 8 were treading water at .500 (25-25) and trailed the American division-leading Bammers by 16 games, have ridden a 12-1 surge the last two weeks to gain a whopping nine games on the suddenly struggling Bams, who went 1-6 this week after last week’s 1-5 toe-stub. That has vaulted the M’s into a second-place tie with the Zero’s at 44-31, with the Badgers right on their heels at 43-32. And the Bammers’ once unassailable division lead, 11 games over the Z’s and Badgers after Week 10 and nine games over the same pair a week ago, is down to five over the M’s and Z’s. The Bam-Bams, an eye-popping 41-9 through eight weeks, are 8-17 since. . . . DamiamUnited, coming off last week’s franchise record-smashing offensive display (19 HRs, 62 RBIs), laid down the lumber and let the pitchers pick up the slack this week, to the tune of a 1.64 ERA, 1.07 BR stat and a stunning nine saves, also believed to be a franchise record. That, plus significant spikes in a couple hitting stats (46 TB, .369 OBP), led DamU on a largely unchallenged romp, with none of their seven wins closer than 7-4. . . . The Moaners went in another direction, relying on big offense, as in days of yore. In a week when the spectacular hitting numbers seen earlier this month went into full retreat for the rest of the league, the M’s posted league bests for the week in RBI (45), runs (40), HRs (11) and OBP (.398), plus 44 TB, second only to DamU’s 46. Those numbers weren’t just better than the competition’s, they were conspicuously better -- in those five stats the M’s beat the next-best team in their division by 17 RBIs, 19 TB, seven runs, four homers and .037 in OBP. And league-wide, no one (other than DamU in TB) really came close to them in any of those five stats, either. They stuck out like a sore thumb. How out of character was this? Last Wednesday, Moaners hitters bashed six homers and drove in 18 runs, exceeding in one night the team’s totals in those categories for the entirety of Week 10 (five and 16, respectively).

Week 12 standings

AMERICAN DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Bammers (1-6)............49...26....653....--
Moaners (7-0).............44...31....587.....5
Zero's (5-2)................44...31....587.....5
Badgers (4-3).............43...32....573.....6
Barristers (0-7)...........17...58....227....32
Pontiffs (5-2).............13...62....173....36
NATIONAL DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Inmates (4-3)..............48...27....640....--
Godfathers (5-2)..........45...30....600.....3
Derelicts (1-6).............45...30....600.....3
DamianUnited (7-0).......44...31....587.....4
Bombers (3-4).............33...42....440....15
Whiteskins (0-7)..........25...50....333....23

Free agent draft No. 6

Pre-draft moves:
Pontiffs: activate 1B Hafner, LaPorta to DL
Whiteskins: activate RP Broxton; RP Sanchez to DL
DamianUnited: SP Johnson to DL
Zero's: activate 2B Uribe, drop O.Cabrera; C Barajas to DL
Badgers: activate OF Wells, Craig to DL
Derelicts: OF Kubel to DL

1. Pontiffs take OF Morse, drop Tabata
2. Barristers take 2B Ackley, drop Sanchez
3. Whiteskins take 2B J.Weeks, drop Hall
4. Bombers take SS Hardy, drop Tejada
5. Moaners take SP Humber, drops Drabek
........Taxi: Humber, Liriano up, Zambrano, Lohse down
6. DamianUnited take SP Karstens
........Taxi: Karstens up, Happ down
7. Zero's take C Soto
........Taxi: Kennedy up, DeLaRosa down
8. Badgers take 3B Moustakas, drop Callaspo
........Taxi: Anderson down, Bumgarner up
9. Godfathers take OF Cuddyer, drop Span
........Taxi: Cueto up, Hanson down
10. Derelicts takes OF Blackmon
........Taxi: Romero up, Oswalt down
11. Inmates take 3B Wigginton, drop Valencia
........Taxi: Stauffer up, Morrow down
12. Bammers take SP Norris, drops F.Garcia

Derelicts, 'Tiffs Make Deal

From the Office of the Commish...

"For those who missed it, there was a trade over the weekend between the Derelicts and the Puny Pontiffs:

RP Papelbon and 3B Alvarez to the Double D's; RP Lyon and 3B Roberts to the Poontiffs."

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The trade was a fairly even swap. The 'Licts bolster their already stout bullpen with a Papelbon-er, and the 'Tiffs get a warm body at third base.

SBL Notebook, Week 11

It was another week, the third in a (hopefully) continuing series, when the SBL was converted into a MASH unit -- and no team induced pitching-staff triage quite like DamianUnited. The club that draws its name from the lowest-scoring sport on the planet produced some most un-soccer-like offense, highlighted by a preposterous 19 HRs and 62 RBIs, both all-time franchise highs and within hailing distance of the SBL records in those categories (believed to be 21 and 68 respectively; if anyone can confirm or disprove these figures, please notify the commissioner’s office). That, plus 42 runs, 33 TB and not-too-shabby pitching (3.19 ERA, 1.13 BR, 4-1 WL) carried DamU to its first 6-0 week this season, and lifted the National division’s fourth-place entry to within seven games of co-leaders the Inmates and the Derelicts. Just about everyone in DamU’s lineup contributed to the onslaught, but leading the way in this voyage of the Dam were 1B David Ortiz (four HRs, 13 BIs) and SS Troy Tulowitzki (2 HRs, 2 2Bs, 13 BIs). Their efforts were augmented by a dab of when-you’re-hot-you’re-hot sub-in luck: backup catcher Miguel Olivo produced a combined 3 HRs, 6 RBIs and 4 runs on two days when starter Miguel Montero happened to sit out. Something magical about catchers named Miguel, apparently. Every team that had the misfortune to encounter DamianUnited on the schedule ended up shaking his fist and shouting “Damn you, DamU!” Leading that chorus were the Moaners, who managed to take Da United to a tiebreaker in the teams’ interleague matchup but were blown away by what might have been the highest tiebreak number in SBL history -- a 212.1 figure fueled by those 19 HRs, which translated to 76 points in the top-secret tiebreaker formula. That loss was the only blemish in a 5-1 week that left the M’s two games out of second place in the American division, still shared by the Badgers and the Zero’s. Both of those teams went 3-3, failing to take full advantage of a rare 1-5 stumble by the pacesetting Bammers, who still enjoy a comfy nine-game lead. The NL race remains where the action is, with the Inmates going 5-1 to pull back into a tie with the Double-Ds (4-2) atop the heap, the Godfathers hanging tough at four games out and DamU now very much in the picture, too. The NL, still feeling frisky after its interleague triumph in weeks 7-10, won five of six cross-divisional tilts this week. And small wonder, when you look at some of the prodigious offense around the division, notably for the Derelicts (47 BI, 44 runs, 12 HRs) and the Inmates (39 runs, 13 HR, 42 TB). The Cherry Valley Bombers (44 runs, 33 TB, .362 OBP) and the Whiteskins (10 HR, 35 BI, 32 TB) also did their share of damage, but were undone by horrendous pitching (7.09 and 6.30 ERAs, respectively). . . . Congrats to the Batfaced Barristers, who posted their first winning record of the season (4-2), one of only two the AL could manage this week.

Week 11 standings

AMERICAN DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Bammers (1-5)............48...20....706....--
Badgers (3-3)..............39...29....574.....9
Zero's (3-3)................39...29....574.....9
Moaners (5-1).............37...31....544....11
Barristers (4-2)...........17...51....250....31
Puny Pontiffs (0-6)........8...60....118....40
NATIONAL DIVISION
Team, LW..................W....L....PCT....GB
Inmates (5-1)..............44...24....647....--
Derelicts (4-2).............44...24....647....--
Godfathers (3-3)..........40...28....588.....4
DamianUnited (6-0).......37...31....544.....7
Bombers (1-5).............30...38....441....14
Whiteskins (1-5)..........25...43....368....19

DamU, 'Skins Make Deal

From the of Office of the Commish...

"DamianUnited and the Whiteskins consummated a trade Monday:

OF N.Cruz and SP Dempster to DamU, OF Del.Young and SP T.Hudson to the 'Skins.

For those following along at home, Hudson takes Dempster’s place on the Whiteskins' taxi squad, and Dempster goes directly into DamU’s rotation in the spot previously occupied by Hudson. The 'Skins can move Hudson into their rotation on the next draft day."

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For the time being, it looks like DamU got the better of this deal, trading for one of the premier power bats in ball. Cruz's 15 HRs currently ranks him just outside the Top 10 in the MLB.