SBL Notebook, Week 11

It was another week, the third in a (hopefully) continuing series, when the SBL was converted into a MASH unit -- and no team induced pitching-staff triage quite like DamianUnited. The club that draws its name from the lowest-scoring sport on the planet produced some most un-soccer-like offense, highlighted by a preposterous 19 HRs and 62 RBIs, both all-time franchise highs and within hailing distance of the SBL records in those categories (believed to be 21 and 68 respectively; if anyone can confirm or disprove these figures, please notify the commissioner’s office). That, plus 42 runs, 33 TB and not-too-shabby pitching (3.19 ERA, 1.13 BR, 4-1 WL) carried DamU to its first 6-0 week this season, and lifted the National division’s fourth-place entry to within seven games of co-leaders the Inmates and the Derelicts. Just about everyone in DamU’s lineup contributed to the onslaught, but leading the way in this voyage of the Dam were 1B David Ortiz (four HRs, 13 BIs) and SS Troy Tulowitzki (2 HRs, 2 2Bs, 13 BIs). Their efforts were augmented by a dab of when-you’re-hot-you’re-hot sub-in luck: backup catcher Miguel Olivo produced a combined 3 HRs, 6 RBIs and 4 runs on two days when starter Miguel Montero happened to sit out. Something magical about catchers named Miguel, apparently. Every team that had the misfortune to encounter DamianUnited on the schedule ended up shaking his fist and shouting “Damn you, DamU!” Leading that chorus were the Moaners, who managed to take Da United to a tiebreaker in the teams’ interleague matchup but were blown away by what might have been the highest tiebreak number in SBL history -- a 212.1 figure fueled by those 19 HRs, which translated to 76 points in the top-secret tiebreaker formula. That loss was the only blemish in a 5-1 week that left the M’s two games out of second place in the American division, still shared by the Badgers and the Zero’s. Both of those teams went 3-3, failing to take full advantage of a rare 1-5 stumble by the pacesetting Bammers, who still enjoy a comfy nine-game lead. The NL race remains where the action is, with the Inmates going 5-1 to pull back into a tie with the Double-Ds (4-2) atop the heap, the Godfathers hanging tough at four games out and DamU now very much in the picture, too. The NL, still feeling frisky after its interleague triumph in weeks 7-10, won five of six cross-divisional tilts this week. And small wonder, when you look at some of the prodigious offense around the division, notably for the Derelicts (47 BI, 44 runs, 12 HRs) and the Inmates (39 runs, 13 HR, 42 TB). The Cherry Valley Bombers (44 runs, 33 TB, .362 OBP) and the Whiteskins (10 HR, 35 BI, 32 TB) also did their share of damage, but were undone by horrendous pitching (7.09 and 6.30 ERAs, respectively). . . . Congrats to the Batfaced Barristers, who posted their first winning record of the season (4-2), one of only two the AL could manage this week.