SBL Notebook, Week 11

The National division experienced upheaval of Biblical proportions this week, in a last-shall-be-first, first-shall-be-last sense. The Patton Inmates, held against their will in an SBL basement apartment most of the season, went 6-0, building on last week’s 5-1 performance and catapulting out of the cellar, all the way to fourth place. And the season-long division leaders, Dan’s Cherry Valley Bombers, executed an 0-6 swan dive and saw their lead dwindle to four games over JP’s Whiteskins. . . . Meanwhile, the already simmering American Division race was brought to a boil, with Paulo’s Zero’s going 5-1 and pulling into a flat-footed tie with the BGoff Bammers for the AL lead. Bristow’s Batfaced Barristers also made a move, going 6-0 to edge to within eight games of the co-leaders. In other BBB news, we are informed that congratulations are in order –- Hizzoner has been appointed to the federal bench just this week. Which of course means a) he gets one those really cool curly white wigs, right?; b) maybe we’ll finally find out what he’s got goin’ on under those ropes; and c) all you SBL owners who’ve been transporting drugs, guns and minors across state lines are hereby warned to cease and desist immediately, or face the cold, hard justice of the Judge’s gavel. For now his wrath is confined to the stat sheet, where this week he effectively told his AL rivals, “Adjudicate this!” His unbeaten week wasn’t what you’d call overwhelming – several of his games were pretty close, actually – but 11 HRs, 35 runs, 33 TB, a 2.59 ERA and eight saves got the job done. The Inmates’ 6-0 run was more of the scorched-earth variety; his closest game was an 8-3 verdict over Mikee’s Moaners. The Incarcerated Recidivists can’t be thrilled with their 28-40 record, but in a division where no one has been able to maintain traction (even the first-place Bombers are 2-10 the last two weeks), the ’Mates are only 13 games behind the CVBs, and nine games removed from a playoff spot – they ain’t out of it, in other words. Speaking of the Moaners, they win this season’s Idiot Award for violating the SBL’s arcane rule of all arcane rules – the four-start minimum – which almost never happens and is really, really, really hard to do. The M’s got only three starts from their injury-depleted rotation and taxi squad, and thus were obliged to forfeit four pitching stats – everything but saves. Yes, they went 0-6. . . . And while we’re sort of on the subject, a reminder for all those playing at home that it’s time to update your rosters – the trade last week between the Moaners and Bammers (SP Chris Young and SS Marco Scutaro for James Shields and Elvis Andrus) is now in effect. Unfortunately for the M’s, the deal was consummated too late to get Shields into their rotation during Week 11, when they really needed him to avoid four-start jail, but, you know, whatever.