Badgers Want To Ditch Mauer

From the office of A.B., owner of the Badgers:

"Last-minute mass email before today's draft...seeing if any fish are biting.

The Badgers have endured season-long injuries at first base (Berkman, Gamel, Hafner -- all casualties at Wounded Knee) and at catcher (Mauer currently day-to-day, Lucroy out).

With multiple needs to fill in this draft, I'd like to engage trade talk for your first baseman, catcher or draft pick.

Here's my roster for your consideration, academy members. Feel free to discuss among yourselves how the hell I am 12 games over .500:

C Mauer, Lucroy
1B Alonso, Hafner
2B Kipnis, AHill
SS Starlin, BCrawford
3B Hanley, PAlvarez
OF McCutchen, Gordon, Ibanez, Rasmus, Cespedes, Schafer

SP Kershaw, Bumgarner, Vogelsong, Moore, Lohse
RP Motte, Betancourt, Marshall, Walden

DL Berkman
Taxi: Mike Minor, Nicasio"

How the hell is he over .500? Your guess is as good as ours.